


Stress Reliever

by BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, PitchBlackWings



Series: FluffMare [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ack these tags are a mess, Drama Dream, FRESHMARE, Fluff, Freshmare wants that booty, Help, I Lied About The Shipping, It's been almost a year and I STILL don't know how to tag to save my life, It's just stress balls, Killer is still Best Boi, M/M, Nightmare is Best Dad, Overworked Nightmare, Screaming Stress Balls, Stress Balls, The Others Come Close Though, The best in the Multiverse, This is the most I have laughed in months, Tooth-rotting floof, Very Weird Stress Balls, You Have No Idea How Tempted I Was To Just Make This ALL Errormare Fluff, but alas, so much shipping, typos galore ahaha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24764395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/pseuds/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitchBlackWings/pseuds/PitchBlackWings
Summary: This all started as a conversation between me and Bookwyrm about stress balls and Nightmare. I was very inspired so HERE YOU GOthis is just shameless fluff and stress balls. No ships, no starvation. Just plushes and cuddles.(i lied)Hope you like it, Bookwyrm! Thanks again for the ideas ^^Sort of kind of canon to The Bloody Night Calls? More like a happier spinoff of the AU...
Relationships: ChickenBake, Errormare
Series: FluffMare [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793410
Comments: 1954
Kudos: 175





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare has been so stressed lately. 
> 
> Killer decides to get him something that may help with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing

Nightmare sat at his desk, the fingers of his right hand pinching his temple frustratedly.

This paperwork was really getting to his head. How was it possible for someone to be so stupid and infuriating even in their writing?! Nightmare had half a mind to track down the original author of the papers he was trying to decipher and give them something to be terrified about, but even that would be more work than was worth the effort.

The black Guardian looked up at the pile of papers about seven inches high still to be worked through. Each one was of an ungodly thin width, almost see-through like those of a Bible's pages. The writing was tiny, too. Everything about it was enraging.

Nightmare sighed angrily. It seemed like it was going to be another all-nighter. Just because he could survive with no sleep didn't mean it was healthy for him...!

There was a knock at the door, startling Nightmare out of his thoughts.

Glad for even a temporary distraction, Nightmare stretched, clearing his throat. "Come on in."

Killer walked through the door, clearing his throat. "Are you busy?"

Nightmare sighed.  
"Yes, but I could use a break. What's up?"

Killer smiled gently. He reached from behind his back, placing a small package on Nightmare's desk. It was wrapped with purple paper, and it looked... structurally unstable. Killer never had been that good at wrapping things...

"You've been really nose deep in all your paperwork recently, Dad. It's been frustrating, right?"

Nightmare nodded reluctantly. "These people I work with don't know their right foot from their left appendages, much less how to work out a fair buisness deal.… I'm sorry I haven't been spending as much time with you and the others as I should be, but this really does need to get done..."

Killer cut him of with an understanding smile. "It's fine, Dad. I just thought I'd get you something because you've been working so hard recently. It's supposed to relieve stress."

He tapped the small package fondly before reaching over Nightmare's desk to hug him.  
"Love you, Dad. Don't overwork yourself, okay?"

Nightmare smiled happily, cheering up considerably. "I won't. I love you too, Kills."

Killer left the room beaming, and Nightmare stared at the small package for a few seconds before gently opening it.

How odd.

It seemed to be a small blue plush in the shape of a star. He squeezed it experimentally to see how it felt.

He did _not_ expect it to SCREAM at him.

"MAMAAAAaaaaaaa!!"

The small plushie shrieked like a banshee at the dark guardian, who yelped and threw it away at the wall out of instinct, stabbing it with a tentacle. "DIE, YOU DEMON!" 

_It was still intact._

Nightmare hesitantly picked it back up and felt it again. He slowly placed just the smallest amount of pressure on it.

_"Mamaaa…"_ The cursed thing whispered, not moving an inch.

Curious now, Nightmare squeezed it in his hand as hard as he could.

The poor toy screeched at the top of its lungs.

# "MAMAAA!!!"

Nightmare stood in shock as the small items on his shelves and his desk stopped rattling.

Well, that was certainly.... something. It definitely relieved him of his stress....

...Maybe he could get one without the speaker...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing started out as a prank from Killer to get Nightmare to lighten up on his workload. He never expected it to work out so well for Nightmare...
> 
> A single vase was broken downstairs when Fresh was startled by the poor toy's desperate cry for its mother. Otherwise, no harm was done ^^
> 
> GUYS UNDERTALEARTISTSHIT MADE ART FOR THIS FANFIC AND IT'S AWESOME
> 
> https://undertaleartistshit.tumblr.com/post/622466424852611073/stress-ball-murder-inspired-by-an-ao3-fanfic-by
> 
> GO CHECK IT OUT THIS IS AMAZING  
> 
> 
> Killer fully expected to do the chores for a week after that as punishment and was surprised when he wasn't disciplined.
> 
> Of course... Karma will in fact come for Killer later… >:3c


	2. From Sleepy Snuggles to Unrepentant Shipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WELL UM
> 
> I was talking with Bookwyrm and--
> 
> this--
> 
> this happened-- (chronologically right after the previous chapter)
> 
> it's still ongoing--
> 
> there will probably be more chapters in the future--
> 
> Contains some language bc bad guys will be bad guys.... and heavy flirting but nothing more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo YO here's my new Discord for all things PitchBlackWings and writing! Might not respond to stuff immediately unless I'm on, but it's a great way to chat! ^^ https://discord.gg/mwVZ3XR
> 
> (this chapter is split with equal credit to myself and the WONDERFUL Bookwyrm :3 and it is so LONG oh my GOODNESS--)
> 
> i got tired of editing the comment tags and typos out on mobile… i will probably fix it later? sorry bout that ;-;
> 
> (i got you uncovered Pitch!)-Bookwyrm
> 
> It is very confuzzling to read I realized. Oops.

WELL HERE IT IS

Bookwyrm  
HOLY HECK THIS IS GREAT. fucking just MAMAAAAAAA! God i don't blame nightmare for trying to stab it to death. like MAN that is terrifying for the stress ball for scream out like that. Damn killer is that one guy who finds all the weird shit online.

PitchBlackWings  
Killer: Hmmhmhhmm just shopping on the dark net....

Website: STRESS RELIEVERS

Killer: Eeh seems legit

...

Killer: *clicking rapidly* I want the one straight out of a horror movie

I think they just had a bunch of doll speakers at the toy company... and they stuffed them into the speakers...

Maybe next chapter will be glitter bombs for stress balls hee hee hee

**

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount

When killer gets punished for something, his computer time is cut.  
Nightmare: No dark web surfing for two weeks KILLER! you know we can't get carpet cleaning out here! We have to go steal a bunch of carpet now, AND I LOVED THAT CARPET.  
Killer: aww no, Nightmare! Can i just replace the carpet myself instead?  
NM: No the last time i let you guys get new carpet it was NOT stain resistant and ORANGE.

**

PitchBlackWings  
The carpet was orange and green and covered with all sorts of unspeakable horrific stains in less than a week. And Dust managed to put a pressure activated speaker underneath it that made it scream bloody murder if you stepped on the wrong spot in the middle of the night.

That ended, predictably, with a scared Nightmare stabbing holes in the floor. They had to replace the entire flooring and kidnap a Hardware!Sans to fix it up because they botched it...

Killer is known as The Killstreak on the dark web. His name garners fear in any circle. He is known to hack into police databases and corrupt their files with videos of cute kittens.

A true force of chaos to be reckoned with.

All Nightmare does online is pick-up curbside shopping and a few anonymous parent groups for challenged teens and fathers, which i find to be very humerous.

**

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
the carpet incident is when the boys learned to never startle a sleepy/sleep walking Nightmare. Ever.

Nightmare also has facebook. he has farmville and rants about how people on the fucking site spread negativity better than he could through the site on his own.  
NM: Another sad puppy commercial? How many does this site need? that just gives a nice tiny boost of negativity to the universe by itself! And look at this, so many cyber bullies and instigators! i don't even want to try to up the negativity on the site since it is doing so well on its own!  
Killer: don't people use that to stay connected with family? and like food pictures?  
NM: all the jealousy over others, anger over posts, and sadness over stories! it slightly out weighs the positivity. the arguments alone break past the positive aspects.

**

PitchBlackWings  
Never. EVER. bother Sleeping NM unless there is NO OTHER OPTION.

That's why the boys go along with it whenever he accidentally kidnaps them in his sleep. Cuddles are better than stabby wounds ^^'

And honestly m o o d about social medias. There's so much HATE out there.... I don't even have a Twitter account. Just staying unplugged and sane for the most part, that's how I roll ^^

NM on FaeBook tho (Monster version of Facebok uwu)… like imagine him posting pics of his sons like a proud dad of six teenagers...  
unbeknownst to poor Noot, he is in fact stalked on his medias by his fangirls/fanboys and the cult he doesn't know he has...

**

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
After finding the star sans website killer got curious... and looked up what there is on Nightmare and the gang. He had never had such a embarrassed blush. there were so many indecent things. Oh god it just gets Worse. There! Stress ball gang! Get them and gtfo. Dark web people and their creepy group activities.... THERE IS A ENTIRE FORUM ON PEOPLE WANTING TO DO W H A T WITH THE GANG?????????? oh god no the weird fanfic. Thats My DAD!!! just NO-  
NM: * bursts in* Killer! What's wrong? why do you have so much disgust and horror in you?  
Killer: Daaaad! the internet is a dirty dirty place full of the worst people. i can't unsee that i just can't! Never look to far into yourself online ok? PROMISE ME.

Imagine when Nightmare first recruited gang members and they weren't yet his sons, a tired nightmare scooping up a pissed killer or dust into a forced snuggle. mumbling something about 'reamy it is cold t'night'. that would be an awkward situation in the morning

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
just kind of everyone smushed together on the giant bed, with no way to get free.

Killer: *whispering* he's going to kill us isn't he

NM: *snuggling closer* ...wuv you Dreamy...

Dust: eeeeeeehhhh I doubt it.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: *wakes up very slowly and warm * mmmmmm ......  
Killer(forced teddy bear, one tentacle wrapped with NM snuggled on his chest and into his shoulder): shit, dust help i really don't want die like this.  
Dust (other side of NM accepting his role as a pillow): nothing we can do now killer. Just let what happens, happen.  
NM: * feels warm, starts purring, still not aware of his captives*  
Killer: *sweat drops* holy hell this terrifying.  
Dust: dude stop freaking out.  
NM: * is woken up enough to open his eyes and look confused at his captives* ...what? Why are.... you guys... here?  
Dust: you captured us and force cuddled us.  
NM: * eye light sharpens and shrinks* ...........eep! *melts into shadow and nopes out of there, oh God what has he done?!*  
Killer: *stunned on the bed* what just happened?  
Dust: congrats your not dead.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
He apologizes later and explaina exactly what happens and advises them to lock their doors the next night. Killer is still terrefied as heck but he rols with it, Dust just shrugs like "ok fam"

But the next night.... Nightmare slips under the door as a shdow in his sleep  
and YOINKS the boys away back to bed as teddy bears.

Killer: gdit Dust I don't want this happening again...

Dust: well idk what the heck u want me to do about it

Killer: Augh. Fine i'm going to try teleporting away.

Dust: Uuuh you sure about that dude?

Killer: Yes. Yes I am. *readies his magic for a teleport*

*Nightmare growls, squeezing Killer closer to himself and wrapping his arms as well as the tentacle already holding Killer around the poor skeleton*

Killer: frick frick FRICK what do I do WHAT DO I DO

Dust: I-I dunno, Killer! Just stay still--

NM: *mumbling* ...get your own teddy, Dream... Sir Cuddlypants is mine...

Killer: *unbelievingly* …Are you seriously kidding me right now…??

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: *struggles in the tighter hold* ack!  
Dust: why do you even try to get out man? You want him to squeeze you to death? The scary Killer Sans cuddled to dust by the King of Nightmares? Just enjoy that he is the only nightmare you'll get when he is clinging on to you.  
Killer: as much as I like the break I am honestly worried about how deadly these tentacles are.  
NM: *back against killers side, tentacles like a blanket half over killer half over NM pulling dust close. NM has killers arm in a death grip as he uses it as a pillow* mmmmmmmmm... warmmmmmmmmm... *snuggles into killer while pulling dust into lil spoon*  
Dust: he's like a cat killer. He wants warmth and affection even if he doesn't act like it.  
Killer: I really hope this isn't every night

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Narrator voice: It was indeed almost every night.

Dust is OK with it because he gets cold easy and Nightmare's bed is warmer. Killer hated it.

Once he got a water gun and slept outside in a TREE to try and ward off Nightmare's sleepy tendencies...

Nightmare scared the living daylights out of him by teleporting ABOVE Killer and YOINKING him away back to the bed before he had any time to start falling. Dust was already in the bed, having long ago accepted his fate.

Killer: …I'm gonna use the water gun.

Dust: FUCK, Killer, NO

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
killer: tonight I will use it Mark my words dust  
Dust: are you suicidal?!?  
\--------  
Killer is in the middle of his bed waiting for nightmare, squirter gun armed.  
Killer: c'mon man, I know you'll show.  
NM: *pops from under the door*  
Killer: *shoots*  
NM: *startles awake, tendrils stabbing everywhere, Nightmare stumbling panicking *  
Killer: oh shit! *scrambles away* fuck fuck fuck FUCK!  
NM: AAAAAH! WTF! *Stabs millimeters from Killer's spine*  
Killer: holy shit! FUCK I'D RATHER BE CUDDLED THAN THIS!

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
HORROR GAME NIGHTMARE!! Sounds like something straight out of BATIM tbh--

Dust: Told you so idiot.

Killer: shut UP. SHUT UP.

*killer is snuggled ever closer to Nightmare, the goopy skeleton beginning to drool on Killer's skull.

NM: shh. sleepy time.....

Dust: heheheh....

Killer: *struggling to bring one arm from out of Nightmare's grip to flip Dust off* shut.

That doesn't stop Killer from trying to not be ensnared in the first place, however.  
He goes to sleep in all sorts of places. In cabinets, in the woods, in the attic...

Dust: You can run, but you can't hide, Kills. Old Goopy will find you. And he will HUG you.

Killer, covered in leaves and cameo face paint: stfu you smug little--

Nightmare: *squeezes Killer harder and snuggles him close* .....Mmmm... sssooooft...

*Killer just sort of melts into NM's arms*

Dust, accusingly: you LIKE this DON'T you.

Killer: ssssshut. shut.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: *is so cold, grabs killer and wraps around him* look i don't give a shit anymore, i am freezing and you are warm.  
Killer: ack! *struggles * dammit! You aren't even asleep! Lemme go! You are really cold!  
Dust: pffft. Hahaha I thought you liked cuddles killer!  
NM: ..... *grabs dust* ...better...  
Dust:...........  
Killer: karma bitch

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
the funny thing is that Nightmare is cold to the touch naturally, so if HE is cold then its prety chillyout. and if he grabs you while you're already cold...

Kiler: HOLY FUCK NO NIGHTMARE NOT TONIGHT I SWEAR ITS BELOW TEN OUTSIDE

NM: mmmmMMMMMPPPPHHh...warm.....

Killer: NO WAKE UP

Dust: *curled up in several layers of blankets to insulate him from Noots and is very smug about it* Killer sssshhhh. Bedtime.

Killer: *Whips the blankets off of Dust and wraps them around himself instead* FINE!

Dust: GIVE THOSE BACK I AM LEGIT GOING TO FREEZE

Killer: CRY ME A FRIGGIN RIVER YOU BLANKET HOG

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
this is why the gang wears extra warm pjs in the winter, winter cuddles are not nice with Nightmare.

Killer: *sees a blanket pile* oh yes it is soo cold yes blankets * sits to wrap the blankets around himself  
Nightmare: *shoots tentacles out of his blankets, nabs killer and pulls him to snuggle* mmmmrrp....... warm...  
Killer: AH!!!! FUCK! You're hiding in ambush now! COME THE FUCK ON!!! *struggles*  
NM: .....Shut up i am cold and you tried to take my blankets. Lemme nap in peace now.  
Killer: *has Nightmare's arms around his waist and four tentacles wrapped around him* DUDE YOU ARE FREEZING MAN  
NM:sssssshhhush or imma *yawn* cover your mouth or sumthing..

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: OH HELL NAW! DUST!!! HELP M- mmmmmph mmmph hmmmph!

*Killer is dragged under the blankets and muffled with a spare tentacle*

Dust: *runs into the seemingly empty room* KILLER?!? WHERE ARE YOU BUDDY??!

*Dust whips off the blankets panickedly to reveal a gagged and grumpy Killer in the unyielding grasp of Noots*

Killer: *speaking around the gag* Run! Rmmhh! It's too late for me--

NM: *grabs Dust as well* aaah.... waaaarrrrmmmm...

Dust: FUCK THIS IS LIKE HUGGING A GIANT ICE PACK. LEGGO.

NM: *gives more firm cuddles* ssh or imma have ta gag you too....

*Nighmare falls asleep*

Killer: Dude this is terrifying

Dust: *resigned sigh* I know, Kills. I know.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
killer: why is he so damn cold!?! ....dust do you t H ink stealing an electric blanket would have him stop?  
Dust: i am willing to try anything at this point. *is squeezed* oof! Stop squeezing boss!  
NM still asleep: you won't ssshut uppp! *snuggles in* just be shush! Shush reamy! Shuuuuush........ * curls spare tentacles up and falls deep asleep*  
Dust: .....i hope he never finds out he talks about dream in his sleep.  
Killer: I won't if you won't... *squeezed* ah! Damn! how does horror never get grabbed?!?  
NM: *growls, not thrilled to be brought back awake* you youzzz two are smol and cuddly... now shush! I wanna....sle.....p.... *purrs when asleep and found the most comfy spot between the sans and under the blankets*  
Dust and killer share a scared look not wanting to provoke the octopus.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
its adorable when you're not the one being strangled under threat of accidental death.

Killer: Dust what the FUCK did you do with all ten of the electric blankets

Dust: I DONT HAVE THEM

Killer: BUT THEN WHO--

*meanwhile, a suspiciously large breathing lump on Nightmare's bed is covered in all the blankets. It will be enough for the daytime.... but at night, extra warmth will be needed....*

Killer: *figuring it out* F U C K

Dust: WHAT DO WE DO MAN

Killer: I DON'T EVEN KNOW AT THIS POINT!! ITS GONNA BE BELOW FIFTY TONIGHT!!!

Dust: YOU KNOW WHAT IM RENTING US HOTEL ROOMS

Killer: YES. YES PLEASE. OFF-AU HOTEL ROOMS. NO WAY HE COULD FIND US THERE.

*narrator voice* as a matter of fact...

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
the two rent a hotel with dust looking like a regular sans to not tip off the stars.  
Receptionist: I am sorry we only have a single queen room left.  
Dust: ..i guess that will work.  
\----  
Killer: dude even though we have to share a bed it is better than possible death all night.  
Dust: we technically share a bed most nights anyway.  
Killer: ...... true..... night!  
Dust: mmhm. Night...  
1 hour later......  
Killer: *roused awake* dust get yer cold ass bones off me.  
Dust: you get off of me! Your hands are cold on my ribcage.  
Killer: .... i ain't holding your ribs man...  
NM: shushhhhhhhhhhh.....  
Dust: AHHHHHHHH!  
Killer: FUCK HOLY SHIT.DUST! DUST!  
NM: shush or the neighbors will think your doing things.....  
Dust: dude! Boss wtf!  
NM: .... my bed is better but this is warmer.......

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
The bed is extremely tiny for THREE skellies and Nightmare has to practically SMUSH everyone together like a sandwich to fit.

Killer: Boss how do you keep finding us?!

NM: *sleepily* I sniffed ya out... and followed the trail. shuszsshhhh it's sleep time.

Dust: Boss no offence but like this is weird as heck

NM: *happily cuddles Dust*

Killer: Oh wait... BOSS I like REALLY need to go to the bathroom! Please let me out...

NM: *grumpily* mmmmppphhhhh okaaay. *the tentacles reluctantly release Killer*

Killer: HAHA YES SEE YA AROUND DUST

*Killer instantly teleports away*

Dust: FUCK NO WAIT, BOSS I NEED TO GO TOO, PLEASE-- mmmpphhhhh!

NM: *covering Dust's mouth with another tendril* Imma get snapped at... by the neighbors if you don't... shuddup...

Dust: *quietly* Killer how could you abandon me…

NM: ...don' worry, if he aint back in... mhrrph... twenty mins ill go get him for cuddlessss...

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare just sends a few tendrils to creep into a portal and drag Killer back by the ankles. A faint screech that steadily gets louder as Killer is dragged back and he is punished by becoming little spoon to Nightmare, the coldest spot and only coveted on hot summer days.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Dust: Karma, Killer. That's what you get for abandoning me.

Killer: *grumpy mutters*

Imagine Horror coming into Night's room because he had a night terror and needed comfort... and just seeing... everything.

Horror: *blushing vividly* GUYS WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Killer: *also blushing and squirming* HORROR I SWEAR ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

Dust: WE WERE KIDNAPPED IN OUR SLEEP

Horror: WAIT. you were kidnapped?! in your SLEEP?? how????

Nightmare: *shoots out a tentacle to add Horror to the cuddle pile, snuggling into the new pillow* Hmm... waaarrrrmmmm...

Killer:…Like that.

Horror: HOLY FUDGE ON A SHISH KEBAB THIS IS SO COLD--

Dust: Ehh you get used to it.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
With the epiphany that horrors large size is really damn warm...... the most common position nightmare kidnaps them into is big spoon horror, lil spoons killer and dust. Arms and 2 tentacles wrapped the two smaller sanses with two other tentacles wrapping around horror keeping him in place. Nightmare like to snuggle into shoulders a lot. With horror's addition, nightmare purrs contently and loudly.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Horror: …does this happen often?

Killer: Every. Single. Night.

Horror: WELL FUCK

Nightmare: *growling quietly in his sleep and squezing Horror slightly* ssshhush 'Reamy! hushhh.... sleepy time...

Horror: *terrified whispering* well fuckkkkk....!!!!!!

Dust: Yyyeah that tends to happen a lot as well. You get used to it.

Horror: really…?

Killer: No. But it is very comfy and there are no nightmares except for ol' tentacles here... *pats a spare tentacle fondly*

Nightmare: *relaxes and purrs louder*

Horror: …Okay. That is adorable.

but this brings up the question of CROSS how shall the smol bean become involved in the nightly ritual of Cuddle Kidnapping?

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
cross is smol right?

Nightmare is curled on top of horror with cross as his teddy, dust and killer on each of horrors sides, wrapped in tentacles.  
Cross: w-what is happening?  
Killer: just let it happen cross  
Cross: no no i actually like this i wanted to know why?  
Dust: he is freezing tho  
Cross: better than absolutely no sensation in the remains of my AU.  
Horror: ...... you ok buddy?  
Nightmare: *loudest purr he has done yet*

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Cross wilfully seeks Nightmare out for nighttime snuggles, and he gets to choose where he stays. He's usualy on the other side of Horror since that's the warmest ^^

...Imagine Error just walking in on this cuddle pile for the first time.

Sleepwalking Nightmare does not set off Error's haphephobia, but he sure as heck startles him...

Error: WHAT THE FUCK WHO IS THIS I WILL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD

NM: ...g'night Reamy.... *purrs adorably*

Error: … *reluctant blush*

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error is so startled that they end up tangled and suspended from strings when the others find them. they only see the light of error's blush from the tangle and haphazard bones sticking out. NM loves error's cuddles.... comes with insta-blanket.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: *quietly so as not to startle Nightmare* Uggggghhh, why now of all times?!?!

Dust: …If you hate it so much why not just dispell your string magic and get free…?

NM: *lets out just the cutest little purr and curls up to sort of fit on Error's lap like a cat, clinging to him with relaxed tentacles* Waaaarmmmm....

Error: *looking away and blushing furiously* ...Nightmare might fall and hurt himself or wake up and throw a fit or something...

NM: *tentacles squeezing Error's hand gently* thissss is nicceeeeeee...

Error: *blush intensifies* S-so I'll just... stay put until... he wakes up...

Dust: *knowingly* uhuuuh. suure.

Error: *flustered* S-shut up, you!

i know I said no ships but im overriding that now

**

  
  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
yeeeeeeeeah boi NightError!  
When nightmare learns that laying his head on error's shoulder and wrapping his arms and tentacles around error, he is in warmth heaven. Those string cocoons are sooooooo nice. Error is VERY much a bright blushing mess when nightmare snatches error into couch cuddles. He always is ready to make a string nest for the cold boy.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *slightly self conscious* If you have to go do your job, Err, I won't mind. I'll just find Horror to snuggle with..?

Error: *blushing* Uh, no, really, it's fine-

NM: …you sure? It does annoy most people that i get so clingy when I'm cold or sleepy...

Error: N-not at all! It'sreallykindofadorableactuallyandyoulooksocutewhenyou'resleepyandcuddlylikethis--

NM: *already falling asleep* mmmmmmmphmmmm.... *nuzzles Error's cheek*

Error: oOoh my stars i said all that out loud

What happens when Fresh walks in on this hot mess of shipping…? does he at first think its a fight gone wrong or--

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
fresh: *sees nightmare on the couch with a barely seen under the goopy cuddles error* eyy glitch-bro! What is up wit you? Lose a fight with the cuddle puddle?  
Error: *super bright blush that reflects off nm's oily appearance* shut up and don't wake him up you 'gosh darn' parasite!  
Fresh: eyyyy its all totes cool mah brotato chip! Imma just let you get wit the wholesome family friendly couch cuddle! Don't be a sinner now glitch-bro! *FRESH POOF!!!*

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
"cuddle puddle"

I died laughing.

I headcannon that Fresh uses slang a lot around the gang until he gets very comfortable with them, but he still slips up sometimes. Fresh probably felt very awkward after seeing that. Even as a loving Goopdad, Nighty always seemed so regal and solemn...  
And then he turns into the ultimate cuddling machine at midnight.

The Werecuddler.

Error is cuddled even before he and NM were a couple, and everyone EXCEPT GOOPDAD knew how much of A GIGANTIC CRUSH Error had on 'mare.

Killer: ...you are so in love its adorable.

Error: *blushing furiously* I-It's not like that!! I just--

NM: *snuggles into Error's chest and mews adorably* ..mmmm coooolddd......

Error: *instantly creates a blanket of string for Nighty to cuddle into* Awww, i'm sorry. That better?

NM: *rolling up both of them in the blanket* …thank you Ruru.....

Error: *blushing so vibrantly you could use him as a lamp* U-uh you're welcome…

Fresh: Yeah, you're totes head over heels for the ol' goopdad, glitchy bro.

Error: *gives Fresh the middle finger, the only swear he cannot censor, sign language* S-SHUT.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Poor poor cold nightmare in a drafty old hideout! Good thing error can't say no when NM wraps around him.  
oooooh imagine the stars opened a portal to an extremely cold AU mid fight and pushed the two in. Nightmare might get so shocked with the cold he'd immediately cling to error, higher thought out the window cuz HOLY SHIT IMMA ACTUALLY FREEZE! Error gets them out safely but can't get the poor frozen Noot off of him because Error is still super warm....

i am way too proud at the phrase Cuddle Puddle too

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Cuddle Puddle would be Nighty's loving nickname once he and Error get togther because that is golden ^^

NM: *shaking like a cold puppy* there are icicles on my tentacles!!

Error: Get off of me and i can get you a nice heated blanket!

NM: no! you are warm and i am cold.

Error: THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WARM UP?!?!

NM: *already dozing off* ...a warm bath?

Error: Tf am i supposed to take a warm bath with you clinging to me??

NM: I could have a bath too

Error: But that would mean you would be in the bath as well

NM: Yes. *snuggles closer to Error, chilling both of them* A double bath.

Error: *blushing furiously* a-ah... um...

NM: *forms two extra thick tentacles and uses them as LEGS to walk them towards Nighty's Jacuzzi room, holding Error closer as this mound of ooze and skeleton skitters up the stairs* Jacuzzi bath?

Error: *covers face to try and hide blushing* O-okay...

I made Error such a tsundere and i love it so much

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dust only sees the honestly terrifying mass of ooze and bright blush lights skitters on two awkward almost leglike tendrils up the stairs towards Nightmare's rooms.  
Dust: what the ever loving fuck was that. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!!?!  
Killer:*from the living room* Dust? whats wrong?  
Dust: .... even in this line of work you wouldn't believe me if i told you but we really do live in a house of horrors.  
Killer: You need Horror? He's in the kitchen.  
Dust: No, Killer thats- no just nevermind.

Nightmare: *melts into a gooey puddle in the bath* ahhhhhhhhh...... thaaaaaat's niiiiiiice.....  
Error: *....is ok, totally ok and NOT about to crash from having a bath with Nigh-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
I need to draw a picture of that moment and put it up on my Discord for this kind of stuff- holy shit poor Dust!

NM: *reforms somewhat and cuddles next to Error while he reboots*

Error: hooo boy that was weird...

NM: Yeah, a bit. But you're fine now, i turned down the bubbles so you wouldn't reboot again. Sorry about that!

Error: *sweatdrops* uh y-yeah, that's why I rebooted… the bubbles...

NM: *stretches back in the Jacuzzi* Again, i'm sorry about the intensity of the bubbles. I forgot that I had it set on the highest it could go...

Error: *turning to look at Mare somewhat bashfully* uh… it's okay…

NM: Do you want any bath bombs? They work really well in the Jacuzzi tubs. *picks up several for Error to survey*

Error: …sure…? *his eyes are on Nightmare's relaxed form in the tub and oh NO he's kinda hot- hELP--*

NM: *sees Error looking at him and chuckles with a tiny blue dusting of blush on his own cheeks* See something you like~?

Error: *blush intensifies insanely* A-Ah I uhm I-I-?! *oh STARS NO HE'S HOT*

NM: *realizing he may have gone too far* E-Error, it was a joke, buddy, you're fine, I promise--

*he bumps shoulders with Error, brushing up against the Destroyer, and FUCK NO ITS TOO MUCH FOR THE TSUNDERE TO HANDLE*

Error.EXE has stopped working! Reboot needed.

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: *uses his goop and tendrils as a kind of cover, get out in front of error and goes to grab a robe for them both*  
Error: *bout to crash again from how NM looks*  
Nightmare: Error do you need any lotions or scrubs for your bones? they don't work as well on me but i still hope to find one that does. i am just glad my goop is odorless.  
Error: *computing and lagging from POSSIBITIES* u-um i don't K-kn0w if my GliTch3s can-can-can handle it.  
Nightmare: we could try putting on a small amount and see if that works?  
Error: *fighting a crash* i-if y0u w@nt n-night-mar3. * is having a soul attack OMG*

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
THE FUNNIEST THING IS THAT NIGHTMARE IS ALMOST ENTIRELY OBLIVIOUS TO ERRORS POOR STRUGGLES. ERROR NEEDS HELP THE POOR TSUNDERE

NM: What about a back massage? This one is really nice.

Error: I-I… Sur3, Nighty…

NM: *picks the robed Error up bridal style and places him on a little mini massage bed. Do not question where he got it from, probably stole it somewhere* Here you go! Lemme get the massage oils, too.

Error: *still computing getting bridal style carried TWICE by Nighty in one day* O-0kay...

NM: *Pours a little bit of lotion and oil on his hands, rubbing Error's head with a spare tendril* Just relax, okay? You've worked hard and put up will all of my cuddly bullshit. Let me take care of you for now~

Error: *blushing furiously because NIGHTY WHY ARE YOU SO ATTRACTIVE* 0-o-Ok@y..!

*Nightmare begins rubbing the loitons in slowly, making sure to be careful of Error's haphephobia.*

Error: …It's kinda... cold....

NM: It'll feel really good once you get used to it, I promise. Just relax....

Error: *is a blushing mess*

GDIT EVERYTHING TURNS INTO ERRORMARE SHIPPING. THATS BASICALLY ALL I EVER WRITE AUGHH

But i have no regrets :3

**

>

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare trying to make up for forced cuddling not noticing that error likes the cuddles SO HE TAKES CARE OF ERROR AND IT JUST DOES NOT COMPUTE FOR ERROR OMG SO MUCH NICE ATTENTION!!!

Nightmare: i know i force cuddle you a lot... but could i try something?  
Error: *higher thought has left the building* $ur3 NiGhTmaRE.  
Nightmare: *swaddles error is the fluffiest blanket and then lays back on his bed, error's back resting on his chest with nightmare's arms and tentacles loosely wrapped in an embrace.* i wanted to give you a proper cuddle since i am half out of my mind all the other times.  
Error: *is half out of HIS mind, and is a flashlight rn* it's r-r-r-eally nIc3 NigHtm@re.

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
oh my god its so wholesome and wonderful!!!! ERROR IS THE ULTIMATE TSUNDERE AND GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH---

Nighty: I know I sometimes get on your nerves with my spontaneous cuddling, Error. Somehow you still put up with me, though. I really do appreciate it...

Error: *CANNOT THINK CAN BARELY BREATHE JACK ROBINSON SKELETON IS FREAKING OUT NIGHTMARE IS CUDDLING HIM LIKE THIS AAAAAH* I-I r3@lly d0n't minD, Nightm@r3…

Nightmare: Honestly, though, I don't know how you manage to put up with me... you're a saint and I have no idea what I did to deserve your wonderful self *nuzzles Error's back and curls into him*

Error: *BZZZZT BZZT DOES NOT COMPUTE* You're awesome to0, Nightm@re...

NM: Really? You.. really don't mind all the times I've taken you as a cuddle prisoner? *blushing slightly*

Error: *heav blush oh my stars its so bright* I-I @ctuallY kind 0f lIk3 those cudDles...

NM: oh OH. Well, I'm glad... I really do care about you a lot, you know... *nuzzles into the crook of Error's neck, flipping over to hug him face to face*

Error: *blushing so hard gdit JUST SAY SOMETHING!!!* I-I…

NM: ….Is something wrong, Ruru? Your face is just about as bright as a lightbulb...

Error: *HERES MY MOMENT OKAY AAAAAH DONT MESS THIS UP!!!* Nighty, I....  
*curls up suddeny into Nighty's chest*

Error: *very very quietly* iloveyouNighty……

NM: Awwe, I love you too, Error! *smiles down at the poor embarrassed bean*

Error: *squeals and curls up tighter*

NM: …

NM: *realizing Error meant non-platonically* *blushing deeply as well* O-Oh……

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: *walks in* Hey Nightmare! You never checked in after the fight and dust seems a little.. *sees the two flashlights in a seemly intimate embrace* Oh gosh... um just tell us later if you um had any injuries... oh gosh i am so sorry continue i will just leave *closes the door and faintly heard from it* CROSS YOU OWE ME 30g THEY ARE FINALLY DOING IT!!!!  
Error: *tucks his head in the blanket pressed against nightmare's chest* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  
Nightmare: .... i need to teach them how to knock and to not assume things.....

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: we-we're not even dating, why would he think that?! asfkmslhdbdusbekfh!!!

NM: *blushing heavily* would you like to be dating...?

Error: *freezes up in shock* …wh@t?

NM: *flashlight is at full blushy brightness* I love you too, Err. Unimaginably so. Would you want to be my datemate?

Error: *Begins rebooting*

KILLER I SWEAR GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

Cross insists on proof and Killer has to come back for proof the poor boi...

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: *opens door again, snaps picture, leaves* Cross dude here  
Nightmare: KILLLLLLER!  
Cross: dude this is both of the blushing with error rebooting in a blanket and nightmare fretting over him. there is no proof of them making out. you owe ME 30g.  
Dust: haha you are gonna die for nothing killer.  
Horror: if Nightmare is a dad.... does that make error mom?  
Dust: dude i'd pay 50g to anyone that calls error mom to his face around Nightmare

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
oh god this is pure gold...

LATER THAT DAY:

NM: Killer, what were you thinking?! That was uncalled for!

Killer: …But the picture looks super cute? *shows the picture on his phone to Goopdad and Error*

Error: !!!! No, it's not-!

NM: … *blushing ever so slightly* ..it is kind of adorable. But that's no excuse!

Killer: …You're right. Sorry, Dad.

NM: I'm not the only one you should apologize to. Error was offended as well.

Killer: *initiate shit eating grin* Sorry, Mom.

Error: *Initiating shocked reboot for the second time today*

NM: Oh dear, not again, Ru....

Killer: *yelling gleefully and running away* DUUUST YOU OWE ME 50G!!!!

NM: KILLER YOU DID THIS FOR A BET?!

Dust: I'll pay up if you survive.

Killer: *from far away* GOOD POINT!!!!

NM: KILLER I SWEAR ONCE I MAKE SURE RURU IS OKAY YOU WILL REGRET THIS--

YOU get to be tsundere, and YOU get to be tsundere-- EVERYBODY GETS TO BE TSUNDERE!!!

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: oh gosh i am dating Nightmare now... i-i could make him a puppet or doll....... * makes puppets of the whole gang, nightmare and error* o-o-okay i c@n d0 thi$.  
Nightmare: *is sitting on the couch reading, the gang watching a movie* *flips page*  
Error: *pops in from window, shoves dolls at Nightmare and gtfo* HereNightyIMadeTheseOMGBYE. *pops out*  
Nightmare: OOF!..... are these... error's dolls? * there is a little nightmare with soft plush tentacles, he squeezes them to test them out* oh.... these are really soft....  
Killer: omg error. why man? that was so funny.  
Dust: you won't believe this but i got a picture of error before he left.  
Cross: DUDE!!! let me see!!!

**

  
PitchBlackWings on  
Later…

NM: *surprise hugs Error from behind and nuzzles into his neck*

Error: Eeep!!

NM: Thank you so much for the plushies, hun. They're all adorable, just like you...

Error: *is already a blushing mess* O-oh.. you're w-welcome...

NM: *snuggles deeper and pulls Error closer to him on the couch* You're so handsome and talented. I can't believe I got so lucky as to have you as my boyfriend...

Error: A-ah... really, you're the handsome one here... *blushes even harder*

NM: Wait. you really think... I'M handsome? *blush dusts his cheeks now too*

Error: Y-yeah... you're so tall and s-strong and your tentacles c-can do s-so m@ny t-thinGs…… *OMG I SAID THAT OUT LOUD WTF AAAAAAAAHH*

NM: *Blush deepens slightly* Well… wanna see what else they can do…?

Error: Aaaaaaaaaaaa@aaa@…… ahhHh.... *OH FUCK OH SHIT OH NO HE'S HOT AAAHDNDMASJFHDJAKDHJF*

NM: *uses his tentacles to dip Error back on the couch and kisses his cheek softly* Mwah.

Error: …I-i'M n0t us3d t0--

NM: -Being showed that someone cares about you? Well I'll just have to make up for that and be the best boyfriend ever, then! *curls tentacles lovingly around Error and plants more happy kisses on his bright blue cheekbones*

Error: *OH STARS WHY CANT I REBOOT AHSKDKSJAKSKAJSKS* *hides his face in the crook of Nightmare's neck*

Killer: *hiding behind the stairs, taking pictures of everything* come on, you balls of fluffy love... I have until tonight to win that bet... just do it already..!!!

AM I IN HEAVEN OR HELL HERE. I CANNOT TELL. ITS JUSTSHIPS. ALL THE SHIPPING I NEVER PUT IN ANY STORIES JUST FLOODED HERE AND UAKSZKKAJSSKKASJKA

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
During a battle, the two lovebirds started showing off to each other.... each one trying to look the coolest and look the most awesome. Dream is just so confused at the feelings the two emit until...  
Killer: YOU GET YOUR BOYFRIEND BOSS WHOOP! YEAH GET IT! SHOW HIM JUST HOW DEXTEROUS YOUR TENTACLES GET!!!  
Dust: ERROR SHOW THE BOSS JUST HOW STRONG YOU ARE!!! HE LIKES IT WHEN YOU PICK HIM UP! SHOW OFF THAT STRENGTH AND THAT GYMNAST BODY FROM PRACTICALLY DANCING IN THE AIR ON YOUR STRINGS!!!  
Dream: wut...... oh my.  
Nightmare: *BRIGHT CYAN* YOU TWO ARE ON CLEANING DUTY FOR A MONTH!!!!  
Killer: Cross Who gets the 100g?  
Cross: id say dust did better!  
Killer: DAMMIT!  
Nightmare: CROSS!! NO CHOCOLATE FOR A WEEK!!!  
Error: *can be seen for miles he is so bright* aaaaaaaaa *computer screeching*

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *slams Dream into the ground* Tell ANYONE about this and you are dead meat. I will choke the life out of you slowly until you beg for MERCY you understand?! *points tendrils at Dream's Soul threateningly*

Dream: a-ah... okay... m-my lips are sealed...

NM: *grabs Error bridal style and YEETS Ink away from him before Error can reboot from embarrassment* Come on, Ru, we've had our fun, let's go home.

*The Dark Sanses escape through a portal*

Ink: … Dream what was that all about?

Dream: *sweating profusely* …N-nothing unusual, buddy...

MEANWHILE IN THE HIDEOUT:

NM: Killer, Dust, Cross, that was extremely reckless! You might have made Error reboot in the middle of a battle!

Cross: …But we got pictures of Error mid-fight and mid-blush, Boss...

NM: That's no excuse. Don't do that again.

Error: Yes, please....

NM: Nobody but me gets to fluster my boyfriend, got it? He's my ball of wonderful cute amazing skeleton. Mine. *hugs Error and takes him by surprise*

Error: A-aaaaah... eeeeep!

Killer: *chuckles* Alright. A bit protective, eh, Boss?

NM: Yes. Error is my adorable gymnast Destroyer boyfriend and nobody else's. *nuzzles into Error's neck*

Error: *ball of blush by now* *flustered computer noises*

Dust: *playfully* Now kiss!

NM: *smacks him softly* Don't you have cleaning to do?!

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: *after the boys are gone* ....soooo about those flexible moves you did while only a string was wrapped on your foot...  
Error: ... i had a LOT of time in the anti-void alone ok???? i did a lot of things to pass the time before i figured out how to open windows. one of which may have been playing around on my strings... like i spent a lot of time on my strings and sometimes just trying new and weird things out....  
Nightmare: ... could i see more?  
Error: *blushes brightly* uuuuuuummmmmm........... sure?

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
Error does a good show of string dancing after that and good grief Nightmare is a cyan blushing mess because HOLY FAJITAS just WOW. Error is slightly self conscious at first but be soon regains a good rhythm.

Error plops down on the couch after because that string dancing does get tiring after a bit...

NM: …That was incredible, Ruru....

Error: *blushing as well* W-well... anything for you, Mare...

NM: *nudges him with his shoulder playfully* Want me to return the favor? Anything you'd like to see me do?

Error: *blue blushing mess because oh god the possibILITIESSSS* U-uh... ah... cuddles?… *oh stars slay him now and end this embarrassment*

NM: *instantly wraps around Error, snuggling into his neck as he maneuvers the Destroyer into his lap for better reach* You don't even have to ask for cuddles, Ruru. *gives him a small peck on the cheek*

Error: *squeals quietly at the kiss and positioning and hides his face in the crook of Nighty's neck* A-aah... thank you....

NM: You really are the cutest when you're flustered....

meanwhile Horror is just hiding behind a bookshelf and taking all the pictures he can. He's going to make a scrapbook for them on their anniversary... that's why he has stayed under the radar of teasing the two lovebirds...

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Horror knows just what good stealth can get you. He doesn't often have stuff for the gossip club but when he does it is bombshell stuff

**

  
PitchBlackWings  
the way you say gossip club makes me think of the gang in cult hoodies in a secret basement, just whispering rumors to each other...

Killer: I dunno man this was Mom and Dad's second bath together I'm pretty sure that something has to happen

Dust: We must wait for our spy to return with news...

Horror: *bursting inside* Guys they just had their first real kiss, like both of them at the same time, aaaaahh

Cross: Pics or it didn't happen.

Horror: When have I ever dissapointed? *pulls out a good two pages worth of the intimate moment*

Killer: No flipping way

Horor: My payment for risking my life to get you these treasured images?

Cross: *hands Horror 50 G and a large chocolate bar*

Killer: Sssssssh guys I think I hear something...

**

  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: HEY YOU BRATS!!!! GOSSIP CLUB ISN"T SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME!!! Killer: AH THE LEADER IS ANGRY RUN!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said no ships--
> 
> and then ErrorMare and ChickenBake (a new ship yall will see next chapter) happened--
> 
> I have NO regrets


	3. From Unrepentant Shipping to Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope i did it to your standards Pitch! -Bookwyrm <3

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: HEY YOU BRATS!!!! GOSSIP CLUB ISN"T SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME!!! Killer: AH THE LEADER IS ANGRY RUN!!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: YOU AREN'T GOING TO ESCAPE!! Horror how DARE you doctor pictures like that?!

Killer: HORROR WTF

Horror: RUN DUDE WE CAN TALK LATER

it seems as though the skelies will escape and live to gossip another day, when...

NM: *snatching up all four of the gang members and grinning evilly* Now, what's this all about~?

Error: *glaring at the skeletons suspended in the air* Horror's been forging pictures of us.

NM: Oh~? Let me see!

Error: *fuck abort mission*

The gang is smirking now despite their situation because hahaha the plan is working..... Killer is praying that he won't lose the bet...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
-in the living room-  
Killer:....  
Dust:......  
Cross:...  
Horror:....  
Killer: How long do you think it will take them to leave their room?  
Cross: it has been a long time.  
Horror: ...... i wish i didn't have such fine tuned hearing.  
Dust: holy shit really?  
Horror: i can hear movement... can't tell what.  
Cross: ..... guys do you think?  
Killer: I bet 60g there is going to be goop on error's clothes.  
Dust: ............ 70g there's a string on Nightmare.  
Cross:... A bar of chocolate that error's blushing before Nightmare cuddles him.  
Horror: .......... guys they are coming down.  
Error: *is pouting in a cute suit* Nightmare i really don't want to wear this.  
Nightmare: You said whatever i wanted. and i wanted a suit. you look so hot, error. *smirking at error*  
Killer: DAMMIT

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: Well, you never wear fancy clothes, so why do you like them on me? You're always in the same jacket!

NM: *absentmindedly cuddling Error* …Do you WANT me to dress up, Ru?

Error: U-uh... I guess that would be nice…? *blushing at possibilities*

NM: I have an old suit that was a part of my royal uniform way back when Dream and I still interacted at the Tree. It revealed a bit too much at the chest, so I put it away, but it ought to still fit. *smirking somewhat mischievously* And besides, somehow I think you'd like that about it...

Error: *Burying his face into his boyfriend's jacket to hide his blush* A-aaAaah.... Mare...! *embarrassed computer noises*

(sorry it took so long to reply. I might have been primarily exposed to COVID-19, so I was taking a break so i don't transfer anything to my computers...)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
oh gosh i hope you are ok! You gotta save the computer!

Nightmare: .....  
Error: ......  
Gang: ...*holding in giggles*  
Nightmare: ....error did you just want me to change clothes to steal my hoodie?  
Error: * in the Ceiling corner on a hammock, wearing Nightmare's hoodie, the sleeves almost cover Error's hands* ... no. * has trouble knitting with this hoodie on*  
Nightmare: .... i'll have cross make you a chocolate shake if you come down to cuddle.  
Error: *uses strings to lift Nightmare to his hammock, cuddles in* i still want that shake.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
I'm fine so far, it was just a precaution ^^ I'm using gloves now.

NM: *cuddling close and plotting playful revenge for being outwitted* What'cha knitting?

Error: A black beanie. It's about halfway done.

NM: *nuzzling Error's shoulder from behind* ...I gotta tell you, Ru, you look great with my clothes on... *quietly purring as he wraps his tendrils around Error*

Error: *flustered stuttering* O-oh, well, t-thank you...? *accidentaly skips a stitch on the beanie*

NM: *uses his tentacles to help undo the misstep* There we go. It's a very nice beanie, Err.

Error: *curious* How do you know how to stitch? I didn't know your tentacles could do that...

NM: *smirking and waving his tendrils playfully before wrapping them back around his boyfriend in a hug* My tentacles can do LOTS of things... you wanna see?

Error: *desperately fending off a crash* A-AH… UM... *blushing flustered blue mess*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dust: Not in the living room! You have a whole section of rooms! Keep your flirts PG, there are children here!  
Killer & Cross: HEY!  
Horror: ... you two just called yourselves children.  
Nightmare: *into the side of error's skull, breath wispy against error* .... error wanna head back to the room and watch undernovela? maybe get some chocolate?  
Error: isn't it reruns today?  
Nightmare: .... exactly.  
Error: *NEON BRIGHT!!!*

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((I cannot believe i forgot this existed because it is awesome and full of shipping))

Dust: …75 G Error comes out all flustered and blushing.

Cross: No fair, he's always like that around Nightmare...

Killer: Well, I mean, all the flirting has been kept relatively tame for now... imagine how Error's gonna react when Nighty starts pulling out the big guns and flirting to WIN...

Horror: Oh stars, his face is gonna be brighter than a Christmas tree 24/7.

Dust: We still have that betting pool up for when they actually kiss, right?

Cross: Yeah, after today you would win... so i'm hoping this is it, haha!

Killer: Horror, we need a spy.

Horror: Look no further. Y'all owe me five G each after this and if I see anything PG-13 or higher i'm leaving.

Dust: I'll give you a hundred G if they start doing something personal together and you jump in the room and scream "that's gay"….

Horror: …200 G and i will go on this suicide mission.

Dust: SOLD now go on and record E V E R Y T H I N G

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
error is in night's arms getting soft arm rubs and cuddles, undernovela running in the area the TV would be. Just enjoying the cuddles. Nuzzles..... NM gives a forehead kiss. Snuggles..... pulling the blanket up...

Horror is totally disappointed. Turns out the extremely old and mysterious eldritch take things at a snails pace

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Cross: DANGIT

Horror: Yeah haha... its adorable though *talking through walkie talkie*

Cross: dangit... Dust wins the betting pool...

Killer:…. fine. at the end of the day I will pay up to your smug ass.

Dust: Aww, hoping for a miracle~? I knew they weren't going to make out anywhere near this soon, Nighty takes it too slow for that.

Cross: Yeah yeah. Honestly it is very adorable. And if Nighty tried anything right now Mom would get to be a rebooting mess...

Killer: ah you are probably correct. Error is an adorable tsundere....

Horror: ssssh radio silence i need to watch in case of miracles that will not happen just yet... Cross you're paying my betting pool fee either way for this.

Cross: *huffing*

Horror: *turns off walkie talkie*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Cross : why do you two go so slow?  
Error: .... we are centuries old cross. let us have our moments because we both have centuries ahead too  
Cross: AT LEAST PROPERLY KISS BEFORE I DIE

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *smirking* maaaaybe we will, maaaaybe we won't. How about it, Error?

Error: AH- WHAT-- How would that even work, I have five tongues and you only have one?!?

NM: I can have as many tongues as I want, Ruru.

Error: *blushing mess* …wait seriously…?

NM: *sticking out three tongues as an example* My entire body is made of corruption, remember? I can change small things like tongues really easily.

Err: *exTREMELY flustered computer noises* w-w0w, hah@ha-- *beeping sounds*

Cross: HOW CAN YOU BE SO IN LOVE AND YET NOT HAVE KISSED PROPERLY?!?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ... isn't love something different for everyone?  
Cross: You! don't be poetic like that! you know what i mean

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: I love Error with all my heat, but... we've only ben in a relationship like this for a few months. Give it time. Right now all I want to do with Error is make him feel loved *snuggles Error into litle spoon on the couch*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(DUDE THE TYPO, THE TYPO!! Made me giggle.)  
all you can see is Error's face from the intense cuddles Nightmare is doing. there is a soft smile on his face

***  
PitchBlackWings  
FUCK …GDIT SPELLCHECK WHY DO YOU NEVER DO WHAT YOU NEED TO?!

Thank god nobody noticed Nighty's mess up yet, if ever, hahaha *slaps spellcheck*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dude I laughed so much omg

***  
PitchBlackWings  
....I swear spell Czech has it out for me.

At first it was a tiny elf on my devices that WANTED to help me but was, in fact, quite drunk...

And then it turned into this vile gremlin causing mischeif everywhere it can. ugh .

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Those damn Czech! Pffft! Omg

PitchBlackWings  
*inhales*

God FUCKING DAMMIT--

WHY  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
pffft. OMG I just imagined Nightmare having your problem and the gang hearing that though out the house

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: S-Should we go up there or--

Dust: You wanna die buddy? He sounds pretty frantic and mad to me....

Error: Does this have something to do with his goop vibrating again?

Croos: I'm sorry w h a t ?

Error: Just about the same time every month his corruption needs to replenish itself, and it does that by vibrating a lot. The old goo gets replaced with new corruption and burned away by the vibrations. It's pretty regular.

Horror: So like his whole body just vibrates for a few days, and that makes it hard to speak?

Error: Yep. I think he finds it a bit embarrassing.

Killer: Do his tentacles vibrate too~?

Error: I don't know, why do you ask-- *sudden realization* a-ah. oh.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
.....Nightmare gets periods? omg ...... he totally hates that his mom the tree gave them completely functioning bodies, not just looking skeleton but feeling like a skeleton.

Error: ... Night? you okay???  
NM: GOD DAMN THIS FUCKING SPELL CHECK I JUST WANT TO WRITE MY PAPERWORK FORGERY IN PEACE!!!! WHY DID COMPUTERS HAVE TO BE INVENTED!!!!!!!!!!  
Error: ..... oh gosh.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Oh god yes self insert time-- TO HELL WITH THE SPELLCHECK, Nighty just YEETS the computer away (to the soft bed, even tough he is TRIGGERED computers are hard to come by) and does everything by hand.

Error gets up the courage to hug Nighty and he just almost literally melts in his boyfriend's graps. like fuck it i am emotional and tired, thank you for cuddling me bc i nEED THEM

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
nightmare meticulously replicates the font and style of a document, cursing the fact his au had been based in a less advanced history.

Error:...you okay nightmare?  
NM: fuck technology  
Error: thats fair nights

***  
PitchBlackWings  
I need to get the discord fully set up so i can keep all of this wonderfulness in one place whenever i need inspiration hahaha...

Error finally is like NOPE ITS BEEN THIRTY SEVEN HOURS YOU NEED A CUDDLE BREAK

And Nightmare is just like "well okay its cold in here anyway"

I want the happy couple to cuddle so much aaaaaahhh

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
It takes a lot to make those forgeries convincing! And error is a busy skele. If they don't cuddle-nap each other then when will they ever get a break

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Imagine Nighty working hard next to Error trying to forge war declarations when all of a sudden--

NM: …sssnnnnn....

Error: *pausing in his knitting* Mare?

NM: *loud snoring*

Error: *grabbing Nightmare and heaving him over his shoulder because he is way too heavy to be carried any other way* C'mon, Cuddle Puddle. Bedtime.

NM: *subconsciously cuddling into Error with his tendrils* …waaaaarmmmm…

Error: *much blush so flustered* A-aw, thank you…

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare snuggles in and makes error fall....pinning error in the cuddle puddle.

Error has had worse places to sleep..... uses some strings to pull a blanket over.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Later that night, the boys wonder where Error and Nightmare are. They've come to bring them dinner, since for the past two days Nightmare has been so busy he won't come down to eat, losing track of time.

As Cross opens the door....

Cross: Dad? Mom? Dinner's... o-oh....

Nightmare and error have become a cuddly ball of tentacles and string and limbs, using each other as pillows on the floor near Nighty's desk.

Horror: *smiling* Glad he finally got some sleep. We'll come back later, guys, okay?

Killer: *walks next to the two lovebirds and pokes Nightmare gently* They are really out of it! Adorable~

Suddenly, four tentacles SHOOT OUT and NAB the gang members as a response to Killer's poking, dragging them into the cuddle pile as well. Nighty is very happy... it is much warmer...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
only error and nightmare are used to hard surfaces to sleep on really. Cross too. the others get SUCH sore bones in the morning

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …hhrrsszzzz..... 'Reamy..... *slowly waking up*

Killer: ...who wants to tell him...?

Dust: ow ow ow-- this is YOUR fault, Bro!

Horror: Aaaaaugh my baaack....

Cross: You all wanna try and wake them up on the count of three-?

Killer: Not on your life Cross. Nightmare is TERRIFYING when woken up unnaturally...

Error: *cuddling closer into Nightmare* ……Nighty… waaaarm.....

Horror: Stars not another one....

NM: *curls up around Error more, releasing everyone but Killer from his grasp in order to wrap more tendrils around Ruru*

Killer: Why mEEeee?!?!

Cross: Because you were the one who poked him in the first place. Karma, buddy!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
the boys are fangirling the first time nightmare sleepily say " .......ru...ru"

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: …Did he say what I think he-?

Nighty curls up tighter on the couch, holding Error prisoner underneath the blanket of strings he threw over them.

NM: *nuzzles into Error's chest adorably* ………'luv you Ru......

Cross: Oh my god he DID

Horror: Wil he do it again? Sssh I'm recording--

NM: *happy and warm* …….…Ruru.....…

Everyone watching: *internally screaming*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
they play that recording when they try to get Nightmare to do something as black mail..... Nightmare was AFK for a bit and a cyan lamp was left in his place

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Nightmare snaps out of it in about five minutes with an evil looking smirk on his face. OOH. So THATS how they want to play it? Nighty can do hardball..

He puls out his phone full of ALL THE EMBARRASSING MOMENTS EVER HAD. Even when they thought Nighty was away!  
Killer in a lamb footsie pajama Error made him...  
Dust singing Justin Beiber songs while doing laundry...  
Horror speaking in the WORST Italian ever while cooking and saying things like 'I want to eat your car' and 'eyeballs can run very fast' by accident…  
Cross showing off by flexing on a refridgerator...  
The ENTIRE GANG aslewp in a cuddle pile against Nightmare mumbling things along the lines of "i wuv you Dad" or "warm" or "tentacles"…

AND EVERYTHING IS BACKED UP ON COMPUTERS SO DESTROYING THAT PHONE AINT GONNA DO NOTHING


	4. From Defrosting Chicken For Alfredo to Tear Jerkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another convo we had that bled into the main one at some point..... it has a guest star, Warriorstale001,too! it is from another work that will heavily influence the rest of the other convo. Down the line the comment thread split off into two, i will mark where that is... Hopefully it won't be confusing! It can kinda be considered a prequel or backstory to the main line....

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare ever the dad, needing to defrost the chicken. Sleepy noots.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Nightmare: *in bed about to sleep* aaaahhh peace at last

Nightmare: …

Nightmare: *running out of bed* SHOOT I NEED TO DEFROST THE CHICKEN FOR THE ALFREDO

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NOT THE ALFREDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS THE BEST SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *desperately holding the frozen chicken over the stove* oh shit oh fuck we are NOT making Alfredo with chicken nuggets again

Alfredo is my favoriteeeeeee i love it

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Cross walks in to Nightmare trying to defrost chicken for dinner at 3 in the morning. No amount of coffee could fix this amount of exhaustion.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Nighty kidnapps a Grillby and makes him hold the chicken to defrost it. Since ropes can't hold the firey Monster, Nighty uses his own tentacles to hold him captive.

Cross: … Dad are you okay?

NM: *lets out THE BIGGEST YAWN showing his fangs on accident to the Grillby*

Grillby: *whimpers*

NM: *begins to doze off, sleepily cuddling the Grillby on instinct and nibbling on his sleeve since he hadn't eaten all day*

Grillby: *whispering* Please don't let him eat me...

Cross: *shrugs* Buddy, wake him up and Horror will DEFINITELY eat you. Just defrost the gosh darn chicken. *walks away*

NM: *cuddling tighter* mmmmm... waaaarmmmmm....

Grillby: *whispering panickedly* i'M gOinG tO diE

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: *walks in*  
Grillby: S-Sans? what's going on?????  
Nightmare: .......al....fre.......  
Killer: ..... Look random grillby. we have all learned that you don't escape tentacles. ....And he was probably panicking to defrost the chicken. look he really likes alfredo and last time we had to use nuggets. He was not pleased. Do you know how the King of Nightmares acts when displeased?  
Grillby: *is nightmares heating pad* N-no...  
Killer: *goes to fridge to get out a glass of apple juice* Look man, i'm pretty sure as soon as the chicken is defrosted he is going to pass out for a few hours. you're gonna be here awhile. You shut up and take it. you will probably get to live with the promise of returning should you ever tell anyone. after all you surely want to see... your sans again?  
Nightmare: *nuzzles in* mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... i luv dis........ reamy......... how is it...............soooooooooooooo warm.....?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Killer: Good luck, dude. *leaves the room*

NM: *snuggles closer to Grillby* 'Reamy.... waaaaarm.... *nuzzles face in the crook of Grillby's neck*

Grillby: *whispering to self* How is he the scourage of the multiverse? he's like a child....

NM: *suddenly growling* Sssssshushh or i'll have to.... *yawns* gag you.....! *tightens grip until it is almost painful*

Grillby: *fearful whimpering as he clutches the chicken to his chest*

NM: ….better..... *yawns again, showing sharp teeth*…sleepy time....

Grillby: *quietly panicking and hoping Killer was telling the truth*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror: *walks in* ..... don't burn the chicken... you don't want to waste food.... and thats the last of the chicken... Nightmare really likes alfredo and the last one was.................................... *eyelights go out*  
Grillby: .....  
Horror: D I S A P P O I N T I N G  
Grillby: ......... oh god.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Grillby: *carefully rotating the chicken so it doesn't burn* oh god oh fuck

Dust: *jokingly* Ya worried he's gonna eatcha if you burn it?

Grillby: …yes?

Dust: Nah he wouldn't eat you. Too burny.

Grillby: *relieved* oh thank goodness

Dust: He might rip off your fingers and force-feed them to you, though. Or your eyeballs. If you even have eyeballs? We don't...

Grillby: *turning chicken frantically now so it doesn't burn* eeep!

Nightmare: *snuggling closer* waaaaarm.....

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Grillby: *internal screaming as he has met all the gang-*  
Error (for comedy sake he is all good): *walks in the kitchen, looking for hot chocolate powder* dammit where? ........ fucking cross! he dare hide the chocolate from me! that brat!  
Grillby: o_o  
Error: oh? *notices the new grill* Nightmare catch you? ... heh yeah don't worry. you most likely WON'T be extinguished from his slime....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Grillby: *panicked whispers* WHat?!

Error: Yeah, probably. If he likes ya and you survive, he might hire you as his chef and cuddling buddy, wouldn't that be nice?

Grillby: W-what would that entail?

Error: Probably staying here and cuddling him whenever he feels cold. And cooking meals. But Mare gets p. mad whenever we mess up food...

Grillby: *swallows nervously*

Error: Last time we ruined the chicken by playing around while Mare as away, we had to use chicken nuggets for the alfredo. And buddy...

Grillby: *holding chicken as if it were a precious diamond*

Error: *shuddering* we had a b a d t i m e .

Grillby: *shaking in fear*

Error: *rustling through cabinets for chocolate powder* So yeah. Burn the chicken or let it refreeze and he'll probably kill ya. You do NOT mess with Mare's alfredo. It's his favorite food of all time.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Grillby: if the destroyer never messes with the King of Nightmare's alfredo this needs to be decent enough to have it good but not to good to be forced to make it all the time.  
Nightmare: *Wakes up enough to recognize he has stolen a Grillby* oh? did i steal another grillby? hmmmm..... i hope your cooking is better than the last one i grabbed.  
Grillby: * FEAR FEAR FEAR*  
Nightmare: oh thats... tastes good thanks, i needed a pick-me-up. oh man like an espresso. wow

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Grillby: *TERRIFIED* W-What do you m-mean??

Nightmare: *yawning and showing teeth* Your fear is nice. Like an energy drink.

Grilllby: *CANNOT TELL IF THAT IS A GOOD THING OR NOT*

Nightmare: Aaaanyway, you didn't burn the chicken, right? 'Cause if you did I might break both of your legs and keep you prisoner.

Grillby: i-i'm sorry??

Nightmare: *cuddling into Grillby and making the other stiffen* You're warm and nice and if you don't have legs you can't run away. The last Grillby that burnt the alfredo chicken tried to run after the first week, and he was accidentally dusted when Killer got to rough trying to drag him back. Normal Monsters can be so weak...

Grillby: *SO MUCH FEAR* T-the chicken.... it's...

Nightmare: Spit it out, kid. * tightens grip somewhat in a cuddly tentacle hug that just makes the Grillby more scared*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
the boys make bets in Grillby's hearing range on how long he might last  
Grillby does not like that the longest time is ten days.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Cross: You lose, Killer! Haha~

Horror: Yeah, it's been 24 hours! pay up!

Killer: *grumpily paying out his G to Horror and Cross* I thought for sure Grillbz was gonna be gone by now... I lose the pool, too...

Grillby: *softly whimpering* W-why would I b-be gone by now..?

Killer: Well because you move a lot when Nighty snuggles you in his sleep, duh.

Dust: Yeah, you'dve thought Grillbz would've waken Nightmare up and gotten strangled long before now, huh?

Grillby: *faintly* oh s-stars......

Error: *cheerfully* Welp, last a few more days, willya, Grillbz? I wanna win that overall betting pool...

Nightmare: *walking into the room sleepily and instantly goes to cuddle Grillby* ……Mornin' e'rybody....

Error: *whispering* Gooood luuuuck~

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: error why did you bet so long?  
Error: simple. it is winter. he is going to be more tolerate because he doesn't want to be without the warmth.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Grillby: *shaking* S-so the only reason im not dead yet.... is that im warm and i can cook??

Error: Yep.

Killer: Pretty much, yeah.

Dust: Once your really annoy him, though, you're toast, buddy. Do me a favor and don't get on his nerves until day five, okay? I want that beting pool!

Grillby: *panicked whimpering* I don't want to die at all!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Horror: ... didn't my grillby survive for like 3 weeks and get freedom?  
Killer: i dunno wasn't paying attention  
Grillby:*spark of hope*  
Nightmare: *displeased sound*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare: stop giving my espresso hope. fear is better...

Error: *replying to Horror and Killer* Yeah, but that was because he managed to kidnap another Grillby in his place. And Nighty still goes over there for cuddles sometimes.

Horror: And I guess he did have me vouching for him. I could care less about this one.

Nightmare: Unless this Grillby can do awesome five course meals too im not really interested in keeping him around forever. We'll see how he does with the alfredo.

Dust: I'm changing my bet from four days to two, is that ok?

Grillby: *fearful whimper*

Nightmare: *eye narrowed threateningly* Do NOT mess up my alfredo unless you have a death wish, got it?

Grillby: *TERRIFIED NODDING*

Nightmare: *tasting the negativity in the air* muuuch better... *cuddles deeper into the poor firey Monster*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
eventually the grillby is allowed to go. Trauma-ridden until the next reset.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Error won the bet for ten days or more ^^

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare, cuddler of flames, hugger of warmth.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
imagine Noots going on a kidnapping spree and the star sanses are freaking out like WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THESE PRISONERS THEY COME BACK SO TRAUMATIZED AND REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT

but in truth its just Noots. The Deadly Cuddler.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
pffft! and Dream is just berating NM during battle that he needs to stop torturing so many innocent people. It is ALL mental torture from cuddles!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dream: Stop torturing innocents to gain power from their negativity, Nightmare! Its gone too far!

NM: Wait what? Who am I torturing?

Dream: DONT TELL ME YOU FORGOT BECAUSE YOU DIDNT!! All the Grillbys in the Multiverse fear for their lives at night now!! You've been taking one at least every two weeks!!

NM: Ah. But that's not-?

Dream: *sobbing* SOME DIDN'T COME BACK NIGHTMARE!! YOU KILLED THEM!!!

NM: *under his breath* Nnnoooo... i hired them as a kitchen staff...

Dream: HORRORTALE GRILLBY IS STILL BEING VISITED BY YOU!! WAS THE FIRST TIME TORTURING HIM NOT ENOUGH?!

NM: *having enough of this and grabbing Dream, picking him up and YEETING him aside* He is warm and nice to cuddle. Shut up.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: Horrortale Grillby and I have an understanding. An open deal of sorts.  
Dream: WHAT??? Do you torture him in exchange for food???? THATS AWFUL!  
Nightmare: .... you dense bitch. i-i can't right now.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: SO YOU ADMIT IT?! *tears in his eyes*

Error: *sarcastically/mischevously* Oh yeah. Nightmare gives 'em a cupcake for each finger he rips off of old Grillbz.

NM: DONT ENCOURAGE HIM, ERROR--

Dream: *sobbing as he attacks* YOU MONSTER!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Dust: *playfully so as to aggravate Nighty even further* He yanks off the other Grillbys' teeth and force feeds them to the fire Monsters too. Last time he just strangled one to death...

Dream: *angry crying* NIGHTMARE WHY?!?!

NM: *facepalming* Dust. Error. You are both grounded. Why are you encouraging my dumbass brother??

Dust: Because it's funny~

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Horror: oh yeah Boss, Grillbz was wondering if you could get yer tentacles on burger ingredients, Undick has been p. hard on the supplies for em lately and no humans lately. Offered a 3 day session. Full service.  
Dream: Nightmare thats AWFUL!!!!!! 3 DAYS OF TORTURE!!! JUST LET THAT AU GO!!! I CAN HELP IT!!!  
Nightmare: (already knew and KNOWs what horror is doing, and knows that dream won't be able to keep up a schedule for HorrorTale to get food) *groans and face palms* Dream THAT AU IS MINE. You can't even walk in there for long! I keep my deals! And i am sure as FUCK not letting others out of MY deals.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: THEY ARENT YOUR SLAVES!!! I CAN STAND THE NEGATIVITY LONG ENOUGH TO BRING THEM FOOD!!!

NM: …And you didn't think to help them until just now. They have been starving for years and I have been giving them food.

Dream: AND YOU MAKE THEM PAY YOU BY TORTURING THEM FOR THEIR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS!!! YOU ARE HORRIBLE!! *crying while trying to shoot*

NM: We have a deal in writing and it's entirely legal. shut up.

Dream: SO YOU HAVE SUNK LOW ENOUGH TO ENSLAVE A WHOLE AU FOR POWER, NIGHTMARE?!?! YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!

NM: ………Keep talking and i'll actually show you the torture room. I haven't used it in centuries you dickhead but i swear i will make an exception for you...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dream: I can't believe you would do this! Making people sign contracts? Is that only to make them feel guilty that they signed themselves up for it???? How could you? Can't you ever just help someone selflessly???  
Nightmare: What like you do? the quick patch job that you cannot be relied on to maintain? My contracts are binding i never break one. I may be negative, but i AM RELIABLY NEGATIVE. TRUST ISN"T JUST FUCKING POSITIVE. IT CAN BE NEGATIVE TOO.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
*Horror teleports his Grillby into the AU they are fighting on*

Horror: The food's in your cafè, Grillbz. Nightmare's over there. Good luck.

Dream: *gasping* Grillby! Step away from Horror, he's dangerous!!

Grillby: *puzzled as he walks over to Nightmare* …What's going on, Boss?

NM: *sarcastically* Dream wants me to break our contract so that he can try to take care of your AU. Sounds like a perfect idea huh?

Dream: YES!! Please come with me, Grillby! It has to be better than whatever Nightmare is doing to you! I'll make sure your AU is cared for, I swear!!

Grillby: *shuddering* No thank you. I've heard about what you do. You just work for a few days and then abandon AUs to fend for themselves. Nightmare keeps his word, if nothing else. And besides, the deal isn't that bad.

Dream: *tearing up* So he's brainwashed you guys too?! How much lower can you sink, Nightmare?!

Grillby: *disbelievingly* …is he for real?

NM: *groaning quietly* Yeah... i'll take you up on those three days once I kick his ass, okay?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
HT Grillby: Are you kidding me? Ingredients for my cafe for the town and 3 days fed at the mansion? Just for 3 days of his darkest pleasures and worst secrets? Dream, you're a fool if you think i'd turn down a reliable food source for your fleeting promises.  
Dream: WHAT?!?! WHAT DO YOU DO TO HIM BROTHER!?!??! HOW LOW HAVE YOU GONE?????  
Nightmare: *facepalms, now he knows Horror had told Grillby to mess with dream a bit* Did you really have to say it like that?  
HT Grillby: and why would I move away from Sans? He literally is the only reason Snowdin's still around.  
Dream: Didn't he feed you all human meat????? THAT'S AWFUL! Why would you want to be around that??????  
HT Grillby: .........? *are you SERIOUS look*  
Nightmare: Look he never looks at the big picture or really...... anything past the first look. Don't worry his stupid isn't only right now it's always.  
Dream: BROTHER!!!  
Horror: heh heh..... this is so funny.....

***  
Warriorstale001  
Aaahh just the break I need. Reading this beautiful randomness about Nightmare and his relation to the different Grillbys! Pure gold. :'D

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Grillby-s will always have a soft spot for sanses  
************************@ DA SPLIT I WARNED YA'LL ABOUT! IT STARTS HERE@***************************  
***  
Warriorstale001   
Unless they burn the chicken... :/

***  
PitchBlackWings  
...then they need to run for their lives because HOT DIGGITY DOG NIGHTMARE WAS NOT KIDDING WHEN HE THREATENED TO RIP OFF THEIR ARM AND FEED THEM A CUPCAKE MADE USING THEIR DUST AS THE FLOUR

***  
Warriorstale001  
Oof yep they need to get out of there :0.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: Look i like cuddles but there's some things i CAN'T control my rage for. One of those is mutilating alfredo. look i am the King of Nightmares. Nightmare in that i got scary ass anger issues. King as in I have fucking manners.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
A Random Grillby: So what if i burnt your alfredo and the sauce is watery? You kidnapped me, i don't gotta do anything for you! Alfredo is awful anyways!

Nightmare: *very quietly* excuse me?

Grillby: You heard me you freaking anime monster! Who cares if your dinner was ruined! You deserve it for being an awful person!!

Nightmare: *is twitching in rage*

Horror: oh shit

Dust: wrong move bro

Killer: *quietly* gang back the HELL up

Nightmare: *calm and polite* Have you ever wondered what you would feel if someone ripped your arm off and shoved itdown your ungrateful throat?

Grillby: Why would I be thankful, you ass?! You kidnapped me to cook for you!!

Nightmare: *stepping forwards and choking Grillby suddenly with his bare hands because he is THAT ANGRY* Maybe because I haven't killed you yet?!

Grillby: *struggling choking noises*

Nightmare: *grabs him with his tentacles and stabbing through the other monster's wrists and feet* Maybe this will teach you to be thankful, you entitled bitch!

Killer: *herding the gang into the hallway* …Let's give Dad and this Grillby some time alone, yeah?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: *steps out of kitchen* ... i'm sorry you guys had to see that...  
Killer: no dad we know how well you keep you anger down and how much you reign in yourself for us  
Dust: Yeah we know how hard you work to only have very specific triggers so we don't get hurt.  
Nightmare: ..... i gotta look for a new grill now.  
Cross: Do i need to get the hand vacuum out?  
Nightmare:...... yeah......

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Cross: how much bleach do we need....? The kitchen tile is light blue and there was a LOT of screaming... for a LONG time...

Horror: *looking into the kitchen* HOLY GUACAMOLE WELL ITS NOT BLUE ANYMORE-- it's COVERED in dust and blood! THERE IS SO MUCH BLOOD--

Killer: Holy-- how?? That's more blood than TEN murdered Grillbys!!

Dust: What did you DO to him, man?!

Nightmare: I tore him limb from limb by ripping every tendon and bone apart one by one at each joint. Then I reconnected his limbs in all the wrong places and healed him to almost full HP so he didn't die.

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Nightmare: I eventually got tired of it and killed him by corrupting his Soul, slowly and painfully. And then frying it to death on the grill.

HT!Grillby: *quietly horrified* so that was the shriek we heard...

Nightmare: The negativity was nice. But Horror's Grillbz is still on break... i'm all powered up from torturing the other one… should I kidnap another Grillby? Not a Fell one this time... assholes.... *grumbles*

HT!Grillby: *quickly, nervously* Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?! I THINK I'LL G-GET BACK TO WORK E-EARLY!! (traumatized)

(((OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE REFERRIN TO AN ACTUL GRILL THAT HE BROKE TORTURING THE GRILLBY-- LIKE HE SHOVED HIS SOUL AND ARMS AND SHIT INTO AN ACTUAL KITHEN GRILL--

OH MY GOD I DONT KNOW WHICH INTERPRETATION IS BETTER)))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
((( OH GOD NO, THE NICKNAME WAS CUS HE WANTS THEM ONLY FOR HEAT, ESPRESSO, AND COOKING HOLY SHIT MAN OMG. the absolute irony of killing grillby with a grill holy shit, i bout died laughing man)))  
NM: ... not a swap either... they only know fast food or fair food and ALWAYS try to get riches out of me. I DON'T have piles of gold. really wish dream would stop saying i take everything from my victims. I don't kill for monetary profit! lust is out too. they just... really want more than cuddles. No thanks. hmmm.....  
Error: i don't think you have tried OuterTale yet.  
NM: hmmmm that does sound good...

***  
PitchBlackWings   
imagine a lusttale Grillby being so happy for "cuddles" with Nighty because TENTACLES and POSSIBILITIES

And him just being like "nah its just cuddles"

And then murdering them slowly after they flirted with him one too many times and started trying to take off his jacket during a cuddle session.

Speaking of riches… what if Nighty just had, like... expensve china and pottery.  
it's about the same value as piles of gold but nobody knows that... so it's just there for decorative purposes. Whenever Error or Nighty destroy AUs, if they see one they like, they take it. And since the boys are constantly breaking plates, they are ALWAYS on the lookout for new plates.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: those lust Grillbys just have too much positivity and the disappointment isn't enough to taste good enough.  
Cross: eww thats....  
Dust: You know what would be a good grillby. Birdtale Grillby. the wings man. I wonder if he makes hot wings or just grain based foods.  
Nightmare: .... that does sound nice.  
Killer: dude imagine making a Birdtale Grillby make rotisserie or something.  
Nightmare: that seems like a good idea....

the best thing about Nightmare's pottery is that he can take out his anger on them instead. Nightmare has material wealth.... not that he can like sell anything...

..... Nightmare ends up keeping a Birdtale grillby on staff

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: And this is the kitchen. Here's the freezers, and here is the chicken for the alfredo tonight that you'll b e making. Word of advice?

BTGrillby: …Yeah?

NM: You do NOT want to mess up my alfredo.

BTGrillby: any particular reason why?…

NM: Do you know what I did to the last insufferable Grillby who purposely ruined my alfredo? He poisoned it. Ruined the taste competely.

BTGrillby: *sweating* W-what did you do to him...?

NM: *eyelight going out and tendrils sharpening* I tore him in half and shoved his own poison into his Soul.

BTGrillby: ………!!!

NM: So be careful with the food.

BTGrillby: ……o-okay….!!! *very intimidated and realizing that even though Mare is a good dad, he is still 100% TERRIFYING when he wants to be*

NM: Good. and here are the cabinets for dishes and the like...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dust: *sees BT Grillby on the couch* Where's Boss?  
NM: *peeks out from under BT's wing* ........ yeah dust? need... sumthin?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dust: …You okay there Grillbz…?

BTGrillby: *releasing Nighty from his grasp* hm? Oh yes. At first it was very startling and I feared for my life, but it seems that all Mr. Nightmare wants is warmth and cuddling. It's actually quite comfortable.

Nightmare: *grumbling* 'sss cold......

BTGrillby: Ahh, my apologies, sir. *wraps his wings around Nightmare again*

Nightmare: *happily purring like a cat as he curls up* ……thank youuuu……

Dust: …That is the cutest thing I have seen all day.

((BirdTale Grillby and HorrorTale Grillby need nicknames... I vote either Pheonix or Feathers for BT and Chef or just Grillbz for HT? since he was the first one to stay))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Hot Wings and Flicker ‐‐ killer  
Amber and Ember -- Cross  
Bird and Grillbz -- horror  
Chicken and Bake -- dust  
Grillby #3047 and Grillby # 70892 -- Error

NM: ... not grillby since they would all answer to that.....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bird and Grillbz is pretty simple and sweet but gosh darn it if I don't love the pun of having a Chicken Bake staff team hahah

AND THEN ERROR COMING IN LISTING OFF SERIAL CODES i just about died laughing

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Cross: error that would still name them both grillby.  
Error: then just use the numbers.  
Killer: no one but you would ever remember them.  
Error: well fuck what do you want me to do? Thats their code tags!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare: If we ever get a pet. Error. You are. NOT. allowed. to name it.

Error: Aww, why not?

Killer: *whistling for an imaginary dog* Here boy! C'mere, Rottwiler 120716847//01! Good doggy!

Nightmare:*gesturing to Killer* That is why.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: .... they aren't tagged that way it would be like Dog #RW109BL60TN97AU6553  
Nightmare: still no.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
KIller: …imagine if we got a kid and Error was allowed to name it...

Horror: Happy Biiiirthdaaaay, dear Anomaly 1370462936……

NM: I love you like a son, Error, but you are no longer allowed to name things like that because we can't remember them.

Error: *pouting*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ... it would be it's code! Like, killer, yours is Sans #180962. And Nightmare is Nightmare Sans #1. The only version of him in our multiverse.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: *smugly* And don't you forget it either, Error Sans #1! *TENTACLE NOOGIES*

Error: nOOOOOOOO not the tentacles, haha! *dodging away*

NM: …But seriously, no. You're still banned from naming things.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ...its actually just a bunch of glitches..... but i appreciate it. *smiles* if I tried to say it I would probably damage your hearing.  
Killer: .... oh. That's....  
NM:.... what's inks?  
Error: he is ....a mix of missing space and warped numbers.

PitchBlackWings  
NM: well he is a scatterbrained airhead so.. that's fitting?

Dust: Wait hold up. Nightmare how well do you hear? Like can it even BE damaged??

Killer: Yeah, you can hear me from across the house sneaking your chocolate supply, and also fire a Blaster right next to your 'ears'?

NM: I don't know how well exactly I can hear but it's better than any normal Monster, maybe even the dog ones. My magic just kind of amplifies or tones down the sound as needed. I never tried to see how loud I could stand it because I didn't want to damage my hearing.

Killer: ah. Coolio.

NM: … *processing information*

NM: …WHAT DID YOU MEAN 'STEALING MY CHOCOLATE SUPPLY'?

Killer: oh SHIT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: ... do you think its his goop that amplifies the sounds? like the sound waves hitting it? if i said my code tag or made a few high tones it could mess with his goop in theory. i just... wondered if he uses the goop magic to catch the small vibrations and redistribute the loud ones  
Dust: ..... you think about dad's goop too much error.  
Error: Most of us were scienctists at one point! And i do study things in AUs!!! You can't possibly say you aren't curious! Magic only goes so far!  
******************************************@ DA SECOND SPLIT FROM DAT ONE PLACE@**************************************  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Grillby-s will always have a soft spot for sanses

***  
PitchBlackWings   
I need to get a Discord set up fully so that i can record this without having a thousand replies in my inbox ;-; I love it so much

Dream reporting everything to the star sanses in a neutral AU and making it sound as if Nighty kidnaps the poor Grillbys to squeeze every ounce of negativity out of them, and keeping HT!Grillby hostage through a deal and subjecting him to all sorts of horrible things....

And Error using a window to show everyone INCLUDING Grillby what they are saying... like why are yall so dumb, he's eating popcorn and snuggling and having the time of his life haha, stop trying to rescue him, he dont WANNA be rescued

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
like just error being that guy. Not only is he showing that he can listen into the stars meetings at any point....... But damn is dream dramatic. he does know that the flame elementals can't cry tears right? Why does Dream say Nightmare eats the tears of the tortured? ....like thats gross, dream eww

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare: …

Cross: …sssssooooo-?

NM: NO. EW. NOT IN ALL MY LIFE HAVE I EATEN TEARS FROM MY TORTURE VICTIMS. That is gross and unsanitary.

Grillby: *sighs in relief* Ok good. I just never know with you....

NM: look. I do enjoy their fear, but that's it. Fear and cuddly warmth. I'm not a fucking sadistic vampire who like- licks TEARS from my victims!

Error: I'm going to pants Dream for that remark.

Grillby: Wait. How?

Error: *makes a teeny tiny portal for a few strings to go through that yank Dream's pants down before evaporating*

Dream: *still dramatically telling his story*

Blue: …DREAM YOUR PANTS

((tbh if he tells them what HTGrillby said with direct quotes its gonna sound like he and Nightmare are forced friends with benefits. That was a convo you do NOT want taken out of context. imagine them reacting to THAT idea....))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: Guys i absorb emotions i don't LITERALLY eat tears. Tears are a reaction to too many emotions, either negative or positive. i know i don't eat tears and from what i remember DREAM doesn't eat tears.  
Cross: ew i just imagined dream eating happy tears.  
Killer: why would you share that cross???  
Dust: ewwwwwwww  
Nightmare: disgust isn't my favorite emotion but it is a good snack.  
Error: Dream has gotten weird in trying to make people happy. it was not a good idea to throw a surprise party for Underfell Papyrus and Sans  
Nightmare: he didn't!  
Error: wanna see? *puts on that memory*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((Boss: SANS!!! WHY IS THERE A "GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PREGNANCY" BANNER ON OUR WALL?!?!

Red: *sweating* I-I dunno, Boss...

Dream: *jumping from behind couch* BECAUSE THE STORE WAS OUT OF ALL THE OTHER BANNERS! *blows party horn*

Boss: *jumping back* OH GOD SANS, WHAT IS THAT THING!?! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!))

Cross: …That was hilarious but i am still stuck on Dream eating happy tears. Like what the fuck--

Horror: Like he sits you down and gives you good news and then starts licking your tears all of a sudden--

Dust: but wouldn't that leave, like, his icky godamn golden spit all over your FACE?!

Killer: Im gonna throw up if yall dont SHUT up-

Nightmare: Do it on the Star Sanses- no, just Dream- and I will make my homemade curry rice tonight. i dare you.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror: oh SHIT curry rice?!?!?! how long to i have???? ERROR MAKE A PORTAL NOW! I know how to make myself puke on demand.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Error makes a portal that is one way only, right above Dream's head.

Dream: *crying for dramatic effect* Nightmare has to be stopped! He tortures his victims for their negativity and makes them sign deals to bind themselves to him!! One Grillby victim said that he was imprisoned for three days and forced to entertain Nightmare's worst horrible pleasures and darkest thoughts!

Blue: *gasping* Which were?!

Dream: *improvising* He would injure them over and over to the point of death and give them horrible poisons in their foods! And then there's the phycological torture, and the assault--

Horror: *having enough of Dream's bullshit, leaning over the portal* huuuuuUUUuurrggggGGhhhhhh!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: ...... and no i haven't poisoned anyone in a few decades.  
Error: Horror that was so gross. ..... i think it's Underfell Sans on cleaning this week. nice.  
Nightmare: huh, i thought about grabbing one of those for myself but they were so scattered! abuse victim, abuser, sad, angry.... i could never quite tell which version of Underfell would be best so i decided not to. my boys are MUCH better.  
Error: .... that and almost all abomination #13's are attracted to the swaps, either skelebro. too easy to turn.  
Cross: .... huh thats... weird? did you really shop around for minions?  
Nightmare: of course! i couldn't get just anyone! i had to pick the best ones.  
Killer: awwww we love you too

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Cross: Wait. Did you do trial runs with anyone other than us, Dad?

NM: *looking suddenly uncomfortable* ……

Killer: *worried* Did something happen?

NM: …Yes, I did, but... yeah.... *closes eye and shakes head sadly*

Error: *softly* Tell us the story?

((WELL FUCK A THOUSAND RUBBER DUCKS ITS GOTTEN INTO BACKSTORY SECRETS FOR MILES NOW))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: .... the first one couldn't handle the negativity I need to have... i thought a swapfell would have been more.... enthusiastic about it... he ..... turned on me. Lost my first stronghold that way. Took a long time to try again. Apparently the swapfell didn't like the stealing I had to do to provide.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Killer: …Dad...

Error: *softly* we're so sorry, Mare.

NM: I didn't have the heart to kill him at first, even in the heat of battle with him andthe Star Sanses he brought to ymy hideout... no matter what, I was supposed to protect him... But he did something to my Soul with an attack and I just.... snapped.

Dust: …Oh, no…

NM: I destroyed the entire AU. Everything, just... gone. Including Black.

Cross: …Was that his name…?

NM: *nods* I still blame myself sometimes... it was horrible to lose the first person I really cared about...

Error: *gently* But if you didn't lose him, you might never have met us, Mare.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: thats why I am so careful to be sure i don't hurt you guys. I-i never want to hurt another i care about. You came with me for protection and help. Not to fear that ill kill you on a whim or out of anger.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Killer: Nighty... we know you'd never hurt us on purpose. We trust you with our lives, our everything!

NM: I-I know... but that would make it a hundred times worse if something were to happen to any of you... if I hurt you, I'd…

Dust: But you wouldn't. You're our dad. Even if you went crazy like with the apples, you would still find a way to keep us safe.

Horror: We trust you with our very being because you deserve it, Dad. I would hand over my Soul to you if you asked me.

Error: You try so hard to tamper your anger down to specific triggers that we all know and avoid. Even when it makes you grumpy because of the positivity, you strive to see us happy and healthy. You're the best dad ever.

Cross: *holding open his arms with a bittersweet smile on his face* Awkward family cuddle pile?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: *curls a tentacle around his gang, and is very emotional when even error gives him a pat* oh stars I am glad you guys are here.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Horror: *after a while of hugging* You okay, Dad?

NM: *smiling* … now i am, just about. Thank you guys so much.... I love you all like a father and I can't imagine life without you.

Cross: We love you too, Dad. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you...

Horror: …I can't imagine life without that curry rice you're gonna make for us.

Error: Horror that stunt you pulled was awesome but you desperately need a breath mint ASAP.

Horror: Wait is it that bad?

Dust: *solemn nodding* Like month old skunk rolled in the juices you find in the bottom of a summer dumpster.

Killer: eeeeeeeuuuuuugggghhhhh Dust why did you have to say that?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror goes to brush his teeth.

Nightmare gives the grillby on staff the day off. and starts cooking. He doesn't always have a grillby ready to cook on hand but he does appreciate when they can help cook when they are preparing for a large battle or are recuperating from injuries.  
Time for Curry RICE


	5. From Blackmail and Torture to Cuddly Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AND WE ARE BACK! TO THE MAIN LINE! I gotta say this up coming stuff.... it makes me smile like nothing else. 
> 
> PS: This is where the ChickenBake is put in the oven. .... And the Black from the previous chapter is not the same one here. Different boys.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare snaps out of it in about five minutes with an evil looking smirk on his face. OOH. So THATS how they want to play it? Nighty can do hardball..

He puls out his phone full of ALL THE EMBARRASSING MOMENTS EVER HAD. Even when they thought Nighty was away!  
Killer in a lamb footsie pajama Error made him...  
Dust singing Justin Beiber songs while doing laundry...  
Horror speaking in the WORST Italian ever while cooking and saying things like 'I want to eat your car' and 'eyeballs can run very fast' by accident…  
Cross showing off by flexing on a refridgerator...  
The ENTIRE GANG aslewp in a cuddle pile against Nightmare mumbling things along the lines of "i wuv you Dad" or "warm" or "tentacles"…

AND EVERYTHING IS BACKED UP ON COMPUTERS SO DESTROYING THAT PHONE AINT GONNA DO NOTHING

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Both parties put away their weapons in mutual agreement. The basement IS getting cleaned by the gang today.......

***  
PitchBlackWings  
'weapons'

They fear no Blaster, no attacks, no magic...

but cute videos of them....

the one true fear.

((well there are others BUT--))

Exactly how much dust is in that baement…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Only when error is in the basement is it the baement.  
There is only one Dust but there is some old furniture (torture devices and furniture sets missing pieces) and some old supplies (rope, wire, chains, boxes with junk) and some pests needing to be removed. Maybe some left over dust or bits from nightmares torture and kill days.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((baement...i just about died XD))

((WAIT THAT WAS SPELLCHECK AGAIN?!?! fUCk at least its funny))

Imagine if someone tried to kidnap Error using so many magic blockers and excellent timing in Outertale? like he was trying to knit Nighty a sweater and then BAM

Or maybe one of the boys... they would definitely be easier....

Nightmare would AbsoLUTELY get out the torture equipment again, like bro, tell me where my son or boyfriend is right now or i will USE that stretcher-- and its NOT for yoga lemme tell you RIGHT now

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: YOU PRICKS! I INVENTED TORTURE CHAMBERS AND DEVICES! I STILL HAVE SOME PROTOTYPES IN THE BASEMENT I HAVEN'T TRIED YET AND YOU JUST VOLUNTEERED

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: THERE ARE TWO OF YOU IMBECILES. I CAN KILL ONE OF YOU IF NEEDBE...

(I'm imagining Swapfell bros Blackberry/black and Rus here for some reason idk why)

Black: DO YOUR BEST, YOU CRETIN! I'L NEVER TALK!!

Rus: M'lord, perhaps we should--

NM: *stomps over to a rather large machine near the corner and drags it to the center of the room easily. It's covered in barbed chains and looks VERY painful even if you can't tell what exactly it does*

Black: HAH!! NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY SCARE THE MAGNIFICENTLY HORRIFYING BLACKBERRY INTO--

NM: *hissing with rage* I can TASTE your FEAR.

Rus: *sweating as he inspects the torture device* M'lord, I really do think--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: YOU TWO DON'T EVEN HAVE GOOD TASTING FEAR. IT TASTES SOUR AND RANCID. JUST HOW L I NG HAS IT BEEN FESTERING HUH?!?!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((yay im not the only one with typos haha!))

Black: THATS RICH COMING FROM A FESTERING OCTOPUS LIKE YOU!!

Rus: M'lord, please don't taunt the King of Nightmares--

Black: HUSH!!!I WILL SPEAK AS I PLEASE TO THIS WALKING GOOP PILE!! HE SMELLS LIKE DEAD FISH AND ALFREDO AND I CANT TELL WHICH IS WORSE!!!

NM: *dangerously quiet* You know what? Just for that, you're getting to go first. *grabs Black and begins dragging him to the torture machine*

((Nighty actually smells like fresh bread and only slightly of alfredo and mint from the garden for iced tea))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare: *places black in the thing* now you feel that pain? I am going to double it for you dear brother...... I have experience with swapfells.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Black is tied up with barbed chains, and the machine is very slowly tightening them so it gets more painful as time goes on. The thing has lots more settings, but Nightmare wants them alive long enough to tell him WHERE ERROR IS so he's gonna have to get creative.

Black: *clearly in pain* DOESN'T EVEN H-HURT A BIT, YOU CRETIN…!

NM: *tightens the chains a bit faster so that you can see the marrow leaking slowly out of the scratches* How about now you little shit?

Rus: M'lord!! What did you do to him, you eldritch scu--!!

NM: *wrapping a tendril around Rus's neck, choking him to silence* It's just a few scratches, i'm going to do a LOT worse to him if you don't start talking...

Black: DON'T YOU DARE, PAPY--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: .... did you know the average magical skeleton has just over 200 bones? ..... ever wonder what it would be like to feel each one slowly ground away into dust? Since your brother is enjoying the thorn coil, as i call it, lets see what we can do to these lanky bones, hmm?.... or maybe i should grind your brother for a bit first... to let you see just how it looks. he doesn't need ALL his phalanges now does he?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Rus: N-no, don't-!

Black: PAPY BE QUIET!!! I CAN HANDLE WHATEVER THIS WEAKLING THROWS AT ME!!

NM: Oh? *grabs a rather wicked looking corkscrew device and lines it up with Black's palm* Rrrreally now... I haven't used this little tool yet... Maybe you'll be a good test candidate?

Rus: Please, wait, don't do th-!

*Nightmare chooses that moment to give the corkscrew a sharp and firm tug, turning the blade and burying it inside Black's palm*

Black: *incomprehensible screaming that sounds more like shrieking sobs*

NM: Well, Rus? Willing to talk now, or will I have to use the filers on both of you? I'm the King of Nightmares, I could do this for weeks on end if need be.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: i've been at this for longer than your au has been around! i know just how much you can take, how to make healing hurt, and how to do it all again!  
Rus: sans?!!?!  
Black: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! FUCK ARRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!!!  
Rus: GARDEN-TALE #27!!!! INK TOLD US TO TAKE HIM THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SANS!!!!!!!!!!  
NM: See? that wasn't so hard! ^v^

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *slowly stops the machine* Now, I'm a king of my word, so no more torture for now, since you were good, even if it took you a while.

*Nightmare lifts Black's trembling body from the torture device, and Rus gasps in relief*

Rus: M'lord!! Are you alright?!

*Black just droops there, gasping with aftershocks of pain*

NM: …But if Error has been harmed in any way, i guarantee you, I will make your death long and painful. VERY long. VERY painful. You're going to answer the rest of my questions now, and for every time you stay quiet, I'll torture one of you for five minutes straight. Then ten, then twenty, then forty, until you decide to speak.

Black: *uncharicteristically weak voice as he whispers to Rus from where Nighty had deposited him back on his chair and retied him* …W-what if we lied? Wouldn't that buy Ink enough time…?

NM: *growling* If i catch you lying to me, I'll grind down your arm to the shoulder joint, bone by bone. Slowly. I can taste a lie, you know.

***on Chapter 1Thu 16 Jul 2020 08:02PM CDT  
Black: t-taste lies?  
NM: your emotions betray you whether its guilt at telling a lie mixed with hope that i'll buy it or the terror of me finding out your lying with the desperate hope of me not catching you.... i WILL taste it~  
Rus: *whimpers*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare: …And while your fear is currently feeding me at the moment, it is, as i stated before, very stale and distorted. I'd rather not make this longer than it needs to be unless I inflict REAL fear into both of you...

*Threatening silence*

NM: And since Rus has only one HP... i'm a bit rusty , so i'm going to start with Black first so I don't kill anyone right away. Black…?

Black: *starting to regain his volume* Y-Yes, You Villain?!

NM: Exactly why did Ink want Error brought to Gardentale? Are there any traps set?

Black: I-I don't know!! *shaking slightly*

NM: *narrows his eyes as he tries to determine whether Black's fluctuating emotions tell of a lie or simply of trauma... he only needs a few seconds...*

Rus: N-Nightmare... your majesty, whatever! He's telling the truth, I swear, please don't hurt him! *voice shaky with apprehension*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: ... i told you i can taste lies. i can't just INSTANTLY with a guy i haven't met before! if you were horror or dust or something i could but damn give me a moment, it's like you WANT me to get it wrong and assume you're lying??? if i can't get a good taste and savor it, should i just assume you WANT me to hurt you???????  
Rus: yes sir.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((im sorry let me just stop laughing hOLD UP-- *wheezes heavily* whot the heck hahaha-- Rus I love you so much aaaaaahh))

NM: …Excuse me?

Rus: Hurt me, not M'lord, sir. I have less tolerance and i'm tougher than I look. M'lord will crack faster than I will, I think...

Black: *offended and worried* P-Papy, stop talking to him, what are you-?

NM: …I'm not sure whether to be impressed at your impudence or just annoyed.

Rus: I-Impudence? I meant no disrespect, sir, I just-

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: .... have you ever heard of rhetoric questions? i think if you two live after this you need to talk about reasonable risk. like i get that sans personality would die and does kill for their papyrus personality. but like voluntary pain like this is usually under dream's domain.  
Rus: what?  
NM: *squints* ... are you the multiverse's most innocent Swapfell? wait off topic shit. tell me everything or serious injury and newfound disability in the near future.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: For now... from what I can tell, Black isn't lying so the two of you get to stay safe a little longer. Next question: why did you kidnap Error?

Rus: …Ink said that he would kill M'lord and change the code of our AU so he wouldn't come back... We had no choice...

Black: P-Papy, you said Ink would reward us with fame and glory if we kidnapped Error, not that he would kill me if we didn't…!

Rus: Ink told me exactly what to tell you as well. If i did anything different, he would have killed you. Not that it matters now anyway. Nightmare's going to kill us both, so… why not be honest, I guess…? I just hope it's quick for you at least, Sans....

NM: Don't assume so quickly.

Rus: …or he could torture us both to death. That seems more in character.

NM: …what did I just say…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: you two did see how dusty my torture devices are right? for gods sake you watched me dig them out from behind some old chairs and tables! Does it look like i use them daily???? that isn't the fun kind of dust! And ink would be a prick like that to his creations. Bad parenting 101.  
Rus: *is very nervous and confused*  
Black: * is lost on what NM is basically saying*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((oh my god i love this turn of events so much aaaahahaha))

Black: …So... you don't torture people all the time...?

NM: Stars no! Good grief, what lies have you heard from Ink this whole time-? We need to have a very long talk after I get Error out of the Gardentale AU. Speaking of which, what's the code to get in...? I could break the firewall myself, but I'd rather not waste time.

Rus: 1234.

NM: …you're actually not lying. How dumb is Ink even-- you know what, nevermind.

*Nighty makes sure the chains are tightened and magic blockers in place before he leaves*

NM: I'll be back soon. If not, Dust or Killer will come in with some food sooner or later. Maybe some Grillby's or alfredo...

Rus: …you're not going to starve us, sir?

NM: …no. Why would I starve you.

Rus: Well, sir, Ink said...

NM: SCREW what Ink said, i'll be talking to you later once Error is rescued and I find out why Ink made you kidnap him in the first place. *walks out the door and slams it behind him*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: *finds error covered in vines in GardenTale, ink tried to imprison him* .....ink you dumbass.  
Error: ..... night? That you i can't see there are vines in my god damn sockets

Black: .... papyrus? Do you think we will get out of here alive?  
Rus: ... i hope so sans  
Chicken (BirdTale grillby): Killer? You sure there's spare chairs down- OH Gosh!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((oh my god CHICKEN YES-- but chicken is like the bravest of the grillbys and there are so many PUN POSSIBILITIES-- aaaaaaah))

NM: yeah, Ru, it's me... you hurt anywhere? *begins to rip vines away with his tentacles*

Error: *embarrassed* there are vines wrapped around literally EVERY bone in body right now... p-please be careful...

NM: *low fury in his voice* I am going to M U R D E R Ink for this

Rus: Hey! H-Help us, please!

Chicken: …Why are you even down here…?

Black: Nightmare kidnapped us and tortured us!

Chicken: *misunderstanding and thinking that they were cuddle-napped like he was* Ah. Well, you get used to it, hahaha, don't worry! He can actually be quite entertaining once you warm up to him. I can't let you go, though, or Mr. Nightmare would get quite upset with me.

*Chicken grabs a few stacked chairs and begins to carry them outside*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
hehehe warm up to him pfft!

Black: .....are you a masochist??? I can feel the marrow dripping from all my cuts!  
Chicken: what? What are you talking about? Cuddles never cut anyone....  
Rus: what do cuddles have to do with anything?!?!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Chicken: … *noticing the various injuries on the two skellies* o-oh dear... you meant... literal torture...

Black: Ofc i did!! Why would you think otherwise, we're talking about the King of Nightmares here! The evil skeleton who plagues children's dreams at night to feed off their fear!!!

Chicken: …usually he's asleep snuggling on one of us by nine pm, are you sure you're thinking of the right Monster?…

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Black: ....*stunned*... I'm sorry WHAT.  
Chicken: i really can't release you two but I can get some blankets and some cold sweet tea. I think the roast wings are almost done.... would you like BBQ or hot sauce with them? (Sue me i definitely think Chicken does southern food. Ribs, sweet tea, potatoes, roast/fried chicken)  
Rus: ..... BBQ please sir. M'lord likes hot sauce

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((As a Texan I absolutely agree with this analogy of Chicken's cooking skills hahaha))

Chicken comes back a few minutes later with a tray full of roast wings, hot sauce, tiger sauce, and two kinds of BBQ sauce; two blankets are on his shoulders and he had a pitcher full of iced sweet tea.

Chicken: *slight waiter's bow* Fresh chicken wings smoked with hickory wood under low heat for three hours, sweet iced tea made with mint and peaches from the garden, and... I wasn't sure which sauces you would like best, so I have spicy and regular BBQ sauce, and regular Tabasco sauce along with Tiger sauce, which is less spicy.

Rus: …Whoa…

Black: Are you Nightmare's personal cook or something?

Chicken: *evasively* something like that. *he sets up a table and makes sure the brothers can reach the food and drinks with their chains on* Would you like the blankets?

Rus: Yes please sir.

*Chicken drapes the thick blankets over the brothers gently*

Chicken: I hope this helps.

Rus: It really does... thank you, Sir.

Chicken: I'm glad.

Black: If you want us to feel better, why can't you let us go? Make it look like an accident?

Chicken: I can't do that.

Black: but WHY not?!

((Rus is such a polite boi and I love him))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Chicken: because you never take toys away from Mr. Nightmare. Thats a good way to get strangled! ..... i think we have some butterscotch pie in the fridge.... would you like some?  
Black: t-toys?  
Rus: ..... yes please sir.

i bet Bake (ht grillbz) does more creative/experimental cooking and he used to do a lot of artesian sandwich melts and fancy delicious sandwich/burger/casseroles/bakes/etc. then the famine made him get crafty. with the some what stocked decent kitchen at the hideout, Bake can experiment a bit more. Has a regular and a new version of alfredo ready for when NM wants it. sometimes NM likes the new recipe, sometimes not..... it is nice the amount of effort Bake puts into it tho.....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((oh my god-- this RP needs to become a book or something, like what on earth have we created this is AMAZING and hilarious…

Bake has new recipes and ideas for food while Chicken has tried and true methods just in case and for more regular consumption... i love this so much aaaahh))

Chicken comes back with the pie.

Black: …What did you mean when you called us Nightmare's 'toys'...?

Chicken: Nightmare often brings back people or individuals that fascinate him for one reason or the other. He does with them as he wishes, and after that he decides what to do with them. Here's the pie!

Rus: Thank you, sir.

Black: …Do we... do Papy and I have any hope...?

Chicken: *hums thoughtfully* Hard to tell. Sometimes Nightmare will hire newcomers for staff if they really take his fancy. Sometimes he'll let them go with a warning to stay quiet about everything. And sometimes he just kills them if he becomes to annoyed or doesn't like them.

*Worried silence as Chicken hands out slices of pie*

Rus: …Well... thanks for telling us, at least. And thank you for the food and blankets.

Chicken: You're welcome. Keep up that attitude, and your chance of survival will go up enormously. Nightmare loves a respectful individual. It's how I got my job here.

Black: …How did you get your job, really? It's not like you can turn in a resumè to the King of Nightmares, right...?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken: .... have you been listening to Dream? ..... well to be mostly honest without kept secrets being reveled and causing you more trouble..... i can defrost chicken quickly and make a good alfredo.  
Black: ..... alfredo.  
Chicken: yes alfredo, he loves the stuff. very picky on it though.  
Rus: .... the pie is very good, Mr. Grillby *has pie smudges on his mouth*  
Chicken: Thank you, i got the recipe from my muffet... as much as i am loath to say it.... my multiverse name is *sigh* Chicken.  
Rus: *about spit takes and is hiding giggles* hehe.... he  
Black: you have to be kidding me.  
Chicken: well i am not the only grillby here and my specialties include lovely roast wings, ironic i know, *flicks wings* but the other on staff is Bake.... so we are Chicken Bake. .... this is what i get for working in a place filled with classic-based sanses.... really Mr. Nightmare has quite the handful with them...  
Black:..... what is up with this place???  
Killer: *walks in* Hey Chicken i think your sans is calling, someone's phone is going crazy-..... who the fuck are you guys???? .... *checks his phone* .... oh it was my phone... i was supposed to feed the 'sad kids tied up in the basement'? .... oh i guess Chicken got you guys covered. Wait a minute!!! Was that the last slice of pie???? DAMMIT! i knew i should have grabbed it earlier.  
Rus: .....*quickly eats the last bite of pie* ...... hello Mr. Killer sir?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((feed the sad kids tied up in the basement… i am dying of laughter HELP ME--))

Chicken: Next time Nightmare has new toys to take care of, Killer, simply inform me and I will care for them like I did this time. Now if you'll excuse me, there ARE dishes that need washing... *leaves the room*

Killer: Well hello to you two too. Swapfell I assume?

Black: …Yes? That's what everyone refers to our AU as anyways.

Killer: What'd ya do to be stuck down here? Nightmare usually doesn't torture anyone, and you're awfully polite.

Rus: *looking somewhat shamefaced* We kidnapped the Destroyer, sir. It was under duress, but still... i'm surprised he hasn't killed us already.

Killer: *wincing* Ouch buddy, that's rough, but you probably deserve it. Mare will usually KILL anyone who tries to hurt Error... you've gotten really lucky.

Rus: …What do you think is going to happen to us, sir?

Killer: *humming* You might've seen too much to go home, so I'd vote either death or castle staff?

Black: Castle staff doesn't s-sound that bad...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: ... mean do not, like, try to push that staff option, he would totally get suspicious. i dunno just accept your fate? he does usually let the staff live in their aus, locking them down for a year or two before letting them off probation... but thats usually from cuddle-nap victims... maybe a longer time isolated from the multiverse? its usually a deal of 2 weeks on 2 weeks off so staff can still have a life. Either of you good at home repair or renovations? the hideout is a really old building. ..... Hey either of you play Skip-bo or uno?  
Black: ..... oh god what have we been thrown into???  
Rus: ....i like uno sir. there are some tables down here if you want to play? *hopeful kid eyes* M'lord?  
Black: .... there's a high chance we are going to die anyway. So sure.  
Killer: let me go get dust and horror! maybe cross is back? much more fun than just 4 or 5 usual people, we all have played with each other too often so we know the tells each of us has.

Nightmare comes back with a embarrassed Error, turns out ink just wanted to see if that would stop error since the vines would constantly set off his glitches so he couldn't move, to see the basement turned into card game night with the two tied up skelies.

NM: *pinching his nasal ridge* killer i told you to feed them. what is this?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Killer: *guiltily* Well... I was gonna feed them but Chicken beat me to it... and we were bored! A game of uno isn't going to hurt anyone!

NM: …That is all well and good I suppose as long as you haven't gotten attached, it makes things harder.

Dust: They play by the stacking-plus-fours rule too though! Rus is SAVAGE...

NM: *groaning* Now if I kill them you'll be disgruntled for hours. *turning to glare at the two Swapfell bros* You didn't try to hurt them in any way, did you?

Rus: No sir.

Black: …we're a bit tied up at the moment.

*The majority of the Sanses laugh while Black, Mare and Error groan at the unintended pun*

Rus: *clearing his throat quietly, a slightly afraid look on his face* Mr. Nightmare, sir…?

NM: Yes, what is it.

Rus: …Is Error okay?

NM: *eyes narrowed* …what?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Rus: ......i-is Mr. E-Error ok-ay? *nervous stutters*  
NM: ..... yes, he will recover. He was completely covered in vines making him glitch and unable to release himself. every bone wrapped tight. Ink was curious if that could stop him.  
Black: ..... he threatened us just to satisfy his curiosity???

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: …He threatened you…? That explains why you seemed so unsure about everything, I guess. Ink is a jerk, I would believe it if you said he threatened you.

Black: *somewhat angry now* How dare he... he's done that before?

NM: Yes, many times before. He's not the good guy he makes his image out to be, you know. All he cares about is himself and appeasing his own sick need for amusement.

Rus: …that's awful...

NM: Yes, it is.

Black: You 'Dark Sanses' aren't actually the bad guys, then...?

NM: That is relative. We still steal, hurt, and murder on a whim, for example. Heck, I still have the torture devices from my old days for nostalgia and just in case, for precision work like today. I can usually get answers well enough without them, however.

Error: …But we still have lives just like everyone else, you know, and we work against Ink for something like the greater good.

NM: The morally grey compasses of our actions are... complicated.

*awkward and terrified silence on the swapfell's part*

Last Edited Sat 18 Jul 2020 01:39PM CDT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dust: ... what you thought the multiverse was only mercy or genocide? no one is perfect which means no one is entirely good. I mean have you seen dream and his stand up bit? what is his deal with exaggerating every little thing he learns about Nightmare??? Boss's happy pill brother is dense as fuck.  
NM: i still can't believe he never changed since the tree, all ignorance and seeing what he wants to see. Loves attention so much still. good grief. the kid that couldn't even keep his half of the tree clear of sticks thinks he can take care of the multiverse? *shakes his head*  
Cross: and what is up with his thing with saying Nightmare tortures everything? A kidnapped Grillby? Tortured. A kitten? Tortured. Getting a pick-up order from a surface AU? Torture. Grabbing some nails for the new shed? Torture, and Torture shed. HONESTLY!  
Black: .... you guys don't have a torture shed?  
Killer: ... oh yeah... that is a thing in Fell aus, the shed is not just a useless prison but an actual torture shed.....  
Rus: .... ours is very nice, i help m'lord clean it every day. you won't find another so nice.  
NM: No, we do have a garden shed. Why do you think you are in the basement? if i had a torture shed you would have been there instead.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Rus : …point taken. This is much larger than our shed anyways. All it needs is a bit of cleaning I suppose...

Black: Yeah, the stone in the walls is a nice touch but it's going to be covered in lichen if you don't clean it properly. And that could cause termites to be attracted to the wood structures inside the walls...

NM: …Wait. Do YOU know how to do all that?

Rus: M'lord and myself were professionals in our AU. Our house was built by ourselves from the ground up, and a nicer one in Snowdin you never did see.

NM: …Hmm. I may have to see what you can do exactly later...

Rus: If you want us to sir.

Black: …Cross, you said something about a kitten…? *very puzzled*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
( Rus is nice polite farm boi omg i love him so much)  
Cross: yeah I pick up ONE STRAY KITTEN AND SUDDENLY I'M AN ANIMAL ABUSER!!! the little thing couldn't have been more than like 8 weeks old! I had it for 5 minutes! Dream sees me and immediately starts yelling at me. scared the poor thing into scratching me. The entire time he was running me off he was yelling about PETA and how i should be ashamed of myself that was a defenseless kitten, news flash Dream! that kitten had claws and i was bleeding the entire time! So not only do i have dream being an ass but i am bleeding from some pretty deep cat scratches. *gestured wildly throughout the rant* AND I NEVER EVEN GOT THE CHOCOLATE I WAS THERE TO GET!!!!  
NM: ..... he is still angry about that whole thing....  
Cross: I WAS GOING TO NAME IT MARSHMALLOW!  
Dust: damn cross let the neighbor universes hear you why don't ya.  
Rus: .... that poor kitten....  
Cross: I KNOW!!!! *more hand gestures*  
Black: ...he really just went straight for the animal abuse? didn't even look to see what was going on? or even if you were doing something did he not think to spy for information??? That's just sloppy work.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: Yes, it is, but that's the only kind of 'work' Dream knows how to do. He relies so heavily on Ink and Blue and the Council to clean up after him- if he was on his own he wouldn't last a day. But everyone believes him...

Rus: …why?

Error: Why not? We're the Dark Sanses aren't we? I destroy Universes for example. Do you have any idea exactly how many humans and Monsters live inside even just one Universe?

Rus: No sir...

Error: About five to seven billion. I'm just lucky that I don't get credited with all the kills, or i'd have gone mad with LV intake a long time ago.

Black: ….How much LV do you even have…?

Rus: Sans, that's really not polite-!

Error: It's okay. I have over 9 trillion by now, it gets harder to keep track after you hit the millions...

Killer: We're still in the hundreds or very low thousands, except for Nightmare. He's in the quadrillions by now.

Rus: …wow…

NM: We do awful things. They have to be done, and they must be done for the good of everyone, but they can only be accomplished by horrible deeds. There's an obvious bad guy, and as long as Dream puts on his little sob show about me, he has the rest of the Multiverse eating out of his had except for a very few Universes that are under my control and protection.

Black: That's awful. And nobody thought to investigate further inside the Council??

NM: Some of the smarter ones did. They got too close to my family, tried to trick me into letting them know my secrets. Once I killed a few, the rest stopped trying. The smartest ones know something's up, but don't wanna rock the boat and fall out themselves.

Black: …I never knew...

NM: *narrows eyes* I'm surprised you two aren't already on the council. Has Ink approached you with an invitation yet? How else could he have told you to kidnap Error?

Rus: …it was suppssoed to be a trial mission of sorts before we were accepted. I would have refused, but… Ink said I was more important for the team. If I refused, he would kill Sans and take me forcibly... and if I still put up a fight he would destroy the AU...

Black: *softly* Papy... why didn't you tell me…?

Dust: Because then Ink still would have killed you. People call US monsters, but they're blind to the true deception... Ink is a monster and Dream is an unforgivable liar.

((i love Rus so much WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH--))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(HE A GOOD BOY, )  
Killer: ... you are are kinda different from the average swapfell..... most of the ones I come across have the papyrus being a lot more .... asshole and the sans more tyrant sadist...  
Rus: um ... thats what ink also said.... said our copy would be much easier to handle while still being a swapfell.....something about us being more honorable than other swapfells? I haven't met any other swapfells so I don't know what he meant by that.  
Black: Are the other me-s really so vulgar? Violence may be our au but what is it about them that merely being swapfell has such a reputation?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOI OH MY GOODNESS))

NM: Most Swapfells care only about themselves. To be exact, the Sans cares only about himself and his sadistic fame and reputation, and the Papyrus only cares about making his Sans happy. It's a toxic relationship that leads to a lot of violence and hate taken out on everyone they come in contact with. They don't care about right and wrong... it's very twisted for a default AU setting.

Rus: …I wouldn't call our relationship toxic at all...

Black: …yeah. I may make you clean up but that's only because I love you and you need to do chores too...

NM: I can see that. It's quite strange. Perhaps you aren't entirely Swapfells. Maybe a spinoff? SwapFellFarmTale or something like that... it wouldn't show up in the codes, would it, Error?

Error: No. Only the first three necessary sorting keywords would. Swapfell is coded as SwapFellTale#1, 2, 3, and so forth. That could explain it.

NM: Or you two would just be the most polite Swapfells i've ever seen...

Rus: Thank you, sir.

Killer:*pointing* I like him the best. He's cool.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: I mean the most cursing black has done was the insults during torture. Most swapfells by now would have tried to insult me six ways to Sunday! And I haven't seen Rus here try to smoke at all.  
Black: i would never let papyrus smoke those! The first time he tried it he nearly got himself killed! The mutts tried to kill him since he was such a lightweight!  
Rus: .... yeah.... that was a really bad decision.... it tasted awful. I felt so weird and floaty.....  
NM: most swapfell papyri smoke near constantly. And ... most sans call their papyrus 'Matt's  
Black: ..... like even when not putting up an act for the queen?  
NM: for most it isn't an act, but reality.  
Black: .... oh no those poor papyrus....  
Error: you don't want to know the relationships somebody them have. Sometimes its the LV, sometimes it is worse.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((MATTS... I died laughing X3))

Black: …They really don't sound like us...

Rus: Yeah, they sound awful.

NM: …I'm conflicted about how to deal with you two. If you were normal Swapfells, I would've killed you by now, since you'd already have allegiance to Ink... but I have to say, you're a bit unusual. Not sure which side you're on.

Black: I can tell you it is absolutely not on that paint splotches' side, not anymore. The thought of how he's just... lying to everyone... *highly uncomfortable and angry*

Rus: My bro is right, sir. We're not on Ink's side, but... your side is still a mystery. You didn't explain whole lot, just bits and pieces.

NM: …tell you what. It's almost dinnertime. I'll tell Chicken and Bake--

*the Sanses chuckle, except for Black, Nighty and Error, who sigh*

NM: --to make two extra portions. I'll see about getting to know you two a bit better at dinner, and we'll see where it goes from there.

*NM takes Error by the hand and they both walk out of the room*

Black: …Are they together...?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(Ahhhhh auto correct and thats my dads name....)  
Cross: yeah you guys messed with mom.  
Black:..... whose mom?  
Dust: we sometimes call error mom because Nightmare is like a dad sometimes.  
Rus: .... we MESSED WITH THE KING OF NIGHTMARES'S WIFE!!! THE QUEEN!?!? AND THE DESTROYER?!?*HYPERVENTILATING AND FREAKING OUT*  
Black: Papy? Papy? You're okay. You're okay papy. Breath with me.  
Cross: hey you are just fine rus.  
Rus: oh god sans!  
NM: *texts killer* tell the kid that they are not going to die. Or be tortured. I would come back but I JUST got error back. I am not leaving him.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((spellcheck is crazy haha))

Error and Nightmare are having a nice warm bath together. Error would be freaking out much much worse but he's just happy to be back with his boyfriend again. God I am so excited for when these two finally get engaged hahaha…

Killer: *looking at his phone* Great news guys! Dad says you aren't going to be killed or tortured! I think he likes you two!

Rus: *still freaking out* thats.... thats ..... haha.... really relieving to hear....

Black: Please calm down, Papy. Error told you himself you were forgiven, or just as good as such. And you don't have to worry anymore, right?

Cross: Yeah, just ask Bake or Chicken. Nightmare is a really nice guy to his allies and friends. He's just... also a REALLY dangerous enemy.

Rus: …How did Nightmare even hire Mr. Chicken and... i assume Mr. Bake…?

Horror: Just Bake and Chicken are fine. I think he kidnapped both of them for either cuddles or to defrost chicken, and they actually liked it here. Nighty let 'em stay as kitchen staff.

Dust: They're really nice once you get to know them. You already met Chicken- I think Bake's making dinner.

Rus: Lunch was very good.

Killer: Make sure to tell them that, they love compliments!

Black: We will, don't worry. Those chocken wongs were amazing!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
( Holy fuck.... black saying CHOCKEN WONGS)  
Horror: yeah Bake is from my au and likes the deal he has for a food supply. I think Chicken just likes the job and likes that his au is pretty much safe when nightmare is sleeping under his wings.  
Dust: yeah, dad works hard to not let his nature affect us. He is made of negativity.  
Black: ....huh. your grillby you say?  
Horror: my au is not a nice one. Not a vacation spot like OuterTale. Thats why I am physically older than most sanses.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((God no... CHOCKEN WONGS... maybe its like popato chisps for his AU? or maybe I just mixed up my I and O keys haha--)

Killer: Nightmare works hard to protect us now, and he would never hurt us, but it wasn't always that way. He found all of us on our seperate AUs and convinced us to join his side. A good selling point for all of us was how awful our live had become. I was forced to kill everyone in my AU because Frisk kept genociding and the HATE overwhelmed my body. That's why my eyes look so weird.

Horror: My AU was in a state of constant starvation, to the point where Monsters would eat any fallen Humans. Some Monsters were even eating dust... it was awful.

Rus: …stars....

Horror: Nightmare gave me food and promised to keep a steady supply of food coming to my AU and my Papyrus. And I made him promise to keep Papy out of things.

Rus: Did that happen to all of you...??

Dust: I was killed and Papy was killed so many times I went mad and kept imagining my brother's ghost was at my side all the time, telling me to get more LV so i could finally kill the fallen kid. I managed it… but I killed everyone in my AU. Nightmare brought me back from the brink of LV and DETERMINATION poisoning and took me away from that horrible place.

Cross: Gaster forced me to destroy my world with the help of my Chara. I was stuck in an endless white void for what seemed like an eternity until Nightmare came. Ink came once in a while to give me company, but he refused to take me out of my dead AU... when Nightmare offered, I didn't give said offer a second thought.

Black: …Why does Ink create such awful AUs and then wonder why his creations turn against him…?!

Horror: Nobody knows. The GOD OF CREATIVITY OH HOW AMAZING AND WONDERFUL HE IS can apparently do EXACTLY as he pleases... *snarling sarcastically*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
chicken fetches the boys for dinner. he even made sweet tea.  
Black and Rus are polite boys....  
Horror is watching out if they waste food.  
Chicken: BAKE! you wanna see the kids that were in the basement?  
Bake:(i think he'd be a pale fluttery flame, soft pastel orange thats been weathered down) Chicken give me a moment! i wanted to try this sauce i made on the wings you made  
Chicken: oh dear not again.... IT BETTER NOT BE WITH FISH OIL AGAIN YOU LIT HALF THE KITCHEN ON FIRE

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bake: Oh no no no! It's made with BBQ sauce, lemon juice, dijon and yellow mustard, a pinch of garlic salt and some mayo. It tastes much better and is not nearly as flammable!

Chicken: …If it were just the gang and Mr. Nightmare and Mr. Error I would say sure, but the boys in the basement are new and I don't think they've had much to eat in their regular AU or in their stay here, other than what I fed them for lunch.

Bake: …Chocken wongs right?

Chicken: Oh my goodness gracious Bake how many times must I say that they are CHICKEN WINGS

Bake: *chuckling* We're just gonna haveta agree to disagree there. What if I put it on the side as a dipping sauce?

Chicken: That would be much appreciated, Bake. Thank you.

Bake: I'll carry the tray, you bring the sweet tea and napkins and silverware and all that extra jazz?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
.....Bake totally miss pronounces words to mess with Chicken. I ship. Like old married couple ship it. Like can't tell if friends,queer platonic or spouses ship it. Bake is an eccentric grillby. A bit off but overall friendly. Chicken really appreciates that he doesn't have to worry about loose feathers to sweep here, chicken keep his wings impeccable and there is no version of his sans here.

Bake: Oh! You two kiddos look like you need a few good meals on you! *sets tray down and passing food around * Horror! Why didn't you mention they looked a few meals behind? Dear stars! Chicken, you get more multiversal travelers in your Cafe than i do, swaps usually like Mexican foods right?  
Horror: I didn't say anything bake. *taking his* I ain't seen ya all day... i think...  
Chicken: *walking in*yes but I don't know if-  
Bake: OH I know! We have enough stuff for a dulce de Leche cake! What do you boys think?  
Rus: * shyly accepts his food* I don't know what that is, sir, but it sounds amazing.  
Black: *accepting his with a thank you* papy you already had pie-  
Bake: Oh yes! Once the two lovebirds, sorry not you chicken, come down to eat i am going to get that started hopefully it will be done in time! You kiddos need to eat everything on your plate, you hear me?  
Black: i have never heard a grillby as animated as you Mr. Bake.  
Bake: well i tend to ramble to myself after a few years into the famine. Couldn't keep my menu going. I was so happy to open my doors again let me tell you!  
Chicken: Bake, was it not your turn to wash the dishes?  
Bake: OH STARS IT WAS! I gotta go!  
Rus:.... Bye Mr. bake. The food looks wonderful.  
Chicken: thank yo- *crash and sizzle from the kitchen* oh dear Stars what has that crazy ember done now? I swear if he burnt my favorite spatula! *leaves for kitchen*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((Do you mind if I make this- like this entire raw conversation- into the next few chapters? Because it is awesome? And if you're okay with that, would you like to be a co-creator? id would be a LOT of copypasting but it would be SO worth it))

Chicken got that spatula as a gift from his Sans for Christmas, and it matches his "PLEASE DON'T KISS THE COOK, IT'S UNHYGENIC" apron. Bake knows better than to touch it ^^

I ship ChickenBake so hard oh my goodness. Just. THE SHIP NAME IS ALREADY THERE. AND IT IS PERFECT.

Bake simply dropped a large spoon he was going to use for the dulce de leche cake on the ground and knocked over a cheese grater in the process. A few paper towels might have caught fire but no harm was made to the kitchen as a whole ^^

Nightmare and Error are getting dressed at the moment. Error has stolen Nighty's hoodie and refuses to give it back for the moment. Nightmare tried to get revenge by wearing ERROR's hoodie but it was a bit too small so now he's just in a buisness casual suit.

Black: Wow, this sauce is really good...

Rus: I know right?

Dust: Yep! Bake makes lots of new recipes and stuff. Some of it's good, some not so much. That fish oil sauce....

Killer: *shudders* the kitchen caught fire.

Cross: It smelled like fish in the hideout for DAYS. no Lysol or Febreeze could do anyrhing.

Horror: This is a keeper though. *already halfway done*

Rus: *thoughtfully* …Are Mr. Ckicken and Mr. Bake in a relationship...?

Cross: *smirking* …weeelll... not officially yet. That's where we come in.

Dust: *posing with Cross and dragging Killer into said pose* THE SHIPPING CLUB!!!

Cross: We helped Mom and Dad get together and now our next mission is Operation ChickenBake!!

Killer: omg Cross plz stop I just wanna eat

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount ***  
(I don't mind at all! go ahead! i'd love to be co-parents! ChickenBake is down right syrup its so sweet)

Horror: yeah Bake was always good at new recipes.... remember the chili chocolate cupcakes? Error didn't let ANYONE touch them.  
Cross: oh but some things were... questionable... like the lemon tart omelets..... that was ...something else  
Dust: Chicken really balances Bake out, the omelets were before Chicken was around. .... one day i WILL catch them cuddled together!  
Black: .... wow its actually.... really nice here.  
Rus: ..... do you think the cake will be more on the omelet or chili chocolate in terms of taste?  
Horror: Chicken is back there so chili chocolate.  
Rus: *excited eyes and keeps glancing at the kitchen  
NM and error finally show up.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((I love this so much oh my god-- just reread everything and i can't even tell HOW WE GOT HERE))

Nightmare and Error sit down at the table.

Rus: …thank you for deciding not to kill us, Mr. Nightmare.

NM: Hm? ah. You're welcome, I suppose.

Black: Do you play Uno as well, Mr. Nightmare, Mr. Error? (taking Rus's social cues)

Cross: NO PLEASE

Dust: DON'T GO THERE

Error: *smirking* A little bit.

NM: Monopoly's more my speed, but yeah.

Black: Why were Dust and Cross-?

Cross: BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS WIN

Dust: THEY ARE BOARD GAME AND CARD GAME D E M O N S

Rus: Demons eh?

Horror: We haven't won against Nightmare ONCE unless he LETS us. Error got beat only about ten times so far...

Black: *respect* WHOA.

Error: I've got over five hundred years on them. It's not surprising...

NM: I have even more than he does. *playful nudge*

Rus: I have GOT to see you guys in action eventually...

Killer: …Error isn't that Dad's shirt?

Error: JACKET. his JACKET. *blushing*

Horror: BUT DOES HE EVEN WEAR A SHIRT UNDER HIS JACKET IS THE QUESTION--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
The two swap fells are 'invited' (like they would refuse any request rn) to game night after dinner. During dinner error and nightmare would behave so loving towards each other that you could hardly believe they are the top 'threats' to the multiverse. Nightmare gets out Cat-opoly, one of the few versions of monopoly they own. It was after nightmare won 5 rounds of uno. The strategist in NM loves monopoly.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: …Hmm. I think I'll buy another cat hotel. *hands the money over to Horror, the banker*

Horror: *groaning* That's your third one... and it's so early in the game…!

NM: *smirking* It's just accounting and buisness.

Rus: *in awe* You already own about half the board...

NM: Tentakitty (his pawn on the board) will reign supreme.

Black: teach me your ways?

NM: *grabbing chance card* pay me 500 catnip?

Horror: Dang Nightmare you have no mercy for the new guys huh?

NM: If they're going to work for me they need to learn that there IS NO MERCY.

Cross: …what about the time you fell asleep on Chicken and he messed up the ribs on accident…?

NM: there is very LITTLE mercy.

Error: Oh hush, you would rescue every single kitten in the AUs if we had room for them all.

NM: …Only because you love them too, Ruru. *nuzzles lovingly*

Rus: *quietly* they really are made for each other...

Error: *embarrassed EEP of surprise* O-oh

NM: *chuckling* We thought so, too. *hugs Error with a stray tentacle*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(omg i love this!!!!!!)  
Dust: (bell) Nightmare! why'd you ALWAYS get the most expensive properties!  
Nightmare: (has a self made Tentakitty) if i want the best i have to plan for it. i used the mid expensive ones to fuel my empire to have the best hotels..... i would want any who come to my properties to have the best. thats why i get hotels. wouldn't want subpar conditions if any one mine had to reside there.  
Cross: (can of sardines) ..... you can say that all you want. but you just like being the king of the board.  
Error: (ball of string) .... oh! i can get the Bombay! i already have the Ragdoll and Russian Blue.  
Horror:(fish bones) .... how did error hit free parking three times already???  
Rus: (mouse) ...*draws card*... where is the main coon-  
Nightmare: .... well well well.... welcome to my hotel~  
Black: (food dish) .... papy thats the last of your money isn't it?  
Rus: ..... you know i'm not good with money..... muffet always scams me...  
Killer: (milk bottle) .... ouch fell cafes are a toss up for if their respectable. Move me three please cross

***  
PitchBlackWings   
(WE HAVE HAD:  
SLEEPY CUDDLES  
SHIPPING  
SO MUCH SHIPPING  
THREATS AND DANGER  
Recruited TWO NEW CHEFS AND TWO UNDECIDED SWAPFARMFELLS I THINK IS WHAT THEY ARE  
AND NOW WE HAVE  
GAME NIGHT  
I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH-)

Rus: yep. Muffet has great food but a nasty attitude. And Grillby is... nothing like Mr. Chicken and Mr. Bake.

Error: I'm getting a hotel at the Alley cat.

Horror: NO! Man, that entire stretch of the board is so dangerous now…

Killer: *groaning* There are barely any safe spots anymore... did those two combine forces?!

NM: Nope. As much as I love Glitchy, Cat-opoly is my dominion. Unless we PLAY teams, I refuse to go anything less than all out on everyone.

Error: Oh no, is the Cuddle Puddle finally getting serious~? *smirking*

NM: Play around and find out, Ruru.

Error: heheheh... i'd like to see you try!

NM: *rolls and lands on a chance card* Oh? What's this~?

Error: oh no

NM: *reading the card to himself before announcing it, smirking evilly*

Error: OH GOD NO

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
it was an advance to go card, skipping ALL of error's hotels.  
Error: DAMMIT!!!  
NM: hmmm maybe next time ruru~  
Cross: ....... oh look jail again... FOR THE 15TH TIME!!!!!  
Dust: ... how.. just fucking HOW.  
Cross: I DON'T KNOW!!!  
Black: ... i keep hitting the card spaces.... still don't have any hotels or anything to pay for....

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: OOH a chance card! *picks it up*

NM: What's it say?

Killer: *groaning* "Got into a catfight with the player who owns the most properties and bit off more than you could chew. If it's anyone else than you, pay them 500 catnip."

NM: Well then~

Killer: *throwing the rest of his 300 catnip at Nighty* I'm brooooke....

Rus: Mr. Nightmare is ruthless at board games... *in awe*

Error: The dice, please, Killer. I will have my revenge, Nightmare!

NM: Not if you land on my Persian and Manx hotels you won't.

Error: WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE ABOUT THAT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error lands EXACTLY on the Persian....... there's an angry beep and dial tone while catnip is forked over. Error keeps he money organized because his anger often causes errors to blind him. He will always still play the game because Nightmare really enjoys it. Like it's adorable how much fun he has. ..... but Nm is a little bastard for all those damn hotels!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *smug* Hmm hmm hmm... looks like it's down to you and me, Error...

Black: *awkward cough* I'm still in...?

NM: *smirks* well... yeah... with only two Cats...

Error: to be fair you do own like half of the board Nighty.

NM: of course I do. I am the Master of Catopoly.

Black: Yep. Geez louise you have a LOT of money/catnip..

NM: over three million.

Error: THAT YOU STOLE FROM ME.

NM: Blame the chance cards, not me. By the way... *draws yet ANOTHER chance card* ... you owe me 200 catnip.

Error: UGHHH I HATE YOU

NM: *nuzzles Error's neck* I love you too Glitchy.

Error: *reluctant blush as he hands over the money

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Cross: ... nightmare... i am still in too.  
Nightmare: ... You haven't been able to stay out of jail and only have one property.  
Cross: I SWEAR THE DICE ARE RIGGED!!!!  
Bake: * rushes in and sets a piece of cake in front of rus* I have finished the cake who else wants a piece?  
Error: oh i do, bake. i just have to focus on beating Nightmare.  
Rus: *wide sockets* Thank you Mr. Bake.  
Black: rus thats the last sweet for today.  
Nightmare: hmm~ Ruru thats not what my hotels are saying.... nor the dice~  
Error: ....... DAMMIT

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: Oh?~ Whats this I see? ANOTHER chance card?!

Error: THE DICE ARE FLIPPING RIGGED

Cross: SEE?!

NM: *reading off the card* you win a territory battle with another Player and take one of their Cats.

Error: no... NO....

NM: *smirking* Hmmm I think I'll take that Siamese off your hands Ruru.

Error: GOD DAMNIT THAT IS LIKE YOUR FIFTH CAT-OPOLY *angrily hands over the pedigree/deed*

NM: Precisely~ *takes a bit of the cake Bake gave him* Oh wow this is good cake.

Error: *taking a bite of his as well* oh man you're right...

Bake: I made one slice for everyone and there's still one left over after that!

NM: …play for it…?

Error: Oh. it is ON.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nightmare wins ..... and feeds the cake to error.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
YES THANK YOU EXACTLY

Rus and Black coo over them the entire time, HOW ARE THESE THE MOST FEARED SKELLIES IN THE WORLD LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE LIKE SNUGGLY KITTENS

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: Nightmare! you won so its your cake.  
Nightmare: then i can do what i want with it~ and i want you to eat it.  
Error: *flushes and eats the bite of cake by pulling it in with his tongues...* Nightmare...

Killer: .... you haven't seen them with a heated blanket yet. Dust? pull up that slide show you made!  
Dust: Okay this is the blanket snuggles slide show.  
Black: .... and THESE are the most evil in the multiverse?  
Cross: Monopoly dice are the most evil.  
Rus: .... is that Mr. Error and Mr. Nightmare in a hammock? they have so many blankets on them!  
***


	6. From The End of Game Night and Slideshows to Ronald Possibly McDonald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK so this SHOULD be the last of the insane amount of words being dumped. i was on a roll. i could not just leave it be. Pitch, i did it.... god... so so many words... and strawberry Nightmare too...

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: Nightmare! you won so its your cake.  
Nightmare: then i can do what i want with it~ and i want you to eat it.  
Error: *flushes and eats the bite of cake by pulling it in with his tongues...* Nightmare...

Killer: .... you haven't seen them with a heated blanket yet. Dust? pull up that slide show you made!  
Dust: Okay this is the blanket snuggles slide show.  
Black: .... and THESE are the most evil in the multiverse?  
Cross: Monopoly dice are the most evil.  
Rus: .... is that Mr. Error and Mr. Nightmare in a hammock? they have so many blankets on them!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((when i read "dust pull up the slideshow" my mind immediately went to the idea that Dust carries this FRICKING HUGE PROJECTOR in his pocket space and he just WHOMPHS it out when necessary, just YOINK here's a projector.... i can't stop laughing hELP))

Cross: Nightmare gets cold super easily. He likes lots of warmth.

Black: …isn't that a bit much though…?

Dust: We found him curled up IN THE FIREPIT going camping once. He also likes to snuggle with Chicken sometimes.

Horror: Error is his favorite cuddle victim though. If he gets too cold however he WILL just kind of freeze up and look for the first source of warmth to cling to until he gets warmer....

Error: *swallows cake* Yeah. Inky threw me and Nightmare into a frozen-over AU once... Nighty wouldn't let go for AGES... i had to be carried into the Jacuzzi before he would get off of me...

NM: Hey, to my credit I LITERALLY had icicles on my tentacles.

Dust: …The same tentacles you used to scurry up the stairs and scare the living daylights out of me…? *pulls up pictures from hidden cameras of the mass of ooze*

Killer: EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT THE FUCK--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: *embarassed blush* I was COLD! you try being made mostly of liquid! DO YOU KNOW HOW AWFUL FROZEN TENTACLES ARE!!!  
Error: ... well i certainly do. they get all stiff and sap the heat out of me.  
NM: ..You don't mind though do you?  
Error: not too much, honestly. your goop makes the pain from my glitches soothe away a bit. so i really don't mind.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
(wait now I need Dust trying to see exactly what Nightmare is made out of--

Bc its liquid but also solid-

Like taking samples or whatever and just running so many tests on it--)

Rus: *THE BIGGEST YAWN*

Error: …You two look tired.

Black: Yeah.

Rus: …it has been a long day in many different ways Mr. Error...

NM: Killer could you take Rus and Black to the spare guestroom?

Killer: Which one?

NM: Any one really.

Killer: …the stress ball room~?

NM: One day you will push me too far Killer and I will cuddle you in the dead frozen night of winter. Not the stress ball room.

Rus: …stress balls-?

Cross: There's a whole room that acts like a waist high ballpit but with soft stress balls.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Rus: *wide sockets and spark eyes* are- are you serious?!?!  
Black: .... that... holy shit thats amazing.  
Error: Put them in the east wing, theres a few rooms there and it has the most confusing halls  
NM: good idea ruru~

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Rus: …i get lost so easily...

Killer: Good, then you won't try to escape. The magic restraining wristbands are gonna have to stay on until further notice, but this makes sure you stay safe.

Black: …safe?

Horror: Nightmare sleepwalks sometimes. If he finds you or smells you...

Cross: he WILL take you back with him.

Rus: EXCUSE ME WHAT

Cross: Nighty will take you back to his room and cuddle you as a teddy bear all night if he catches you. If you struggle, he starts squeezing. HARD.

NM: *unrepentant* I was cold.

Killer: And you are even colder to the touch!! We're just lucky that Error is enough to distract you most of the time...

Black: …We'll stay in our room... *dully terified*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: He better not sleep cuddle someone else tonight. I had a rough and exhausting day. And we share a room for a reason now.  
NM: Ruru you know how i get-  
Error: I do not want to hear it. i deserve a nice night, Nightmare. i will be upset if you cuddle someone else tonight.  
NM: Glitchy....  
Cross: pfft. yeah dad, mom wants attention.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
oh my god my heArt--

Error ends up completely wrapping the two of them in blankets and strings, immobilizing both of the two lovebirds.

NM: *manages to shift Error into little spoon and wraps his tentacles around the other* …I was so worried about you, Glitchy...

Error: *softly* it's okay now, Night.

NM: …I don't know what i would do without you... what if i couldn't find you for days? I just...

Error: It's alright not to be perfect all the time. You rescued me didn't you?

NM: But not before the vines....

Error: It's fine now. I promise.

NM: *snuggling more protectively* ...I love you, Ruru.

Error: enough to not kidnap anyone else for just one night?

NM: *purring adorably* with these strings in place absolutely. You know you're my favorite person to cuddle with, love.

Error: *still blushing even after months of this treatment* I love you too Cuddle Puddle...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: ...and thats our hint to leave boys.  
Rus: ....thats really sweet honestly.  
Black: ....doesn't dream feel the happiness from them?  
Horror: he thinks its murderous glee.  
Black: ....seriously?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dust: Sadistic joy, murderous glee, insanity, evil intent... Dream is ever the dramatic one when it comes to our supposedly awful moral compasses.

Rus: …he can't tell true joy from false joy…?

Cross: He can. He simply refuses to accept the truth. Because that would mean that Nightmare is still his brother and that DREAM was always in the wrong, which is unacceptable to him.

Killer: He's a stuck-up idiot with a habit of twisting everything he hears and sees to his own interpretations and goals.

Black: That's messed up...

Horror: But that is one of the two Sans copies who the rest of the Multiverse tooks to for leadership. You wonder why everyone hates us? Dream and Ink decide exACTLY what they want you to hear and see.

Rus: …how many left turns have we even made so far...?

Dust: 14 and 3.

Black: How big even is this place...?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: pretty big. Nightmare has had this manor while dream was in stone. Had centuries to build and add on. Used to have people come and build on it. Then couldn't get people once dream started up his shit. You can't just kidnap contractors, either they build poorly or cant get materials. He likes a confusing home to make it hard on intruders and outsiders to get around. Something about wanting to always have an escape? In recent decades he hasn't been able to update or repair at all.  
Black: ... hmmm papy? There's brick and wood here like at muffets right? It wouldn't be too much different.  
Rus: and the stairs need board replaced too.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: See, there you go! Make yourselves useful and the job will pay off better than any in your AU.

Rus: If you'd like us to help, then we would be glad to do so. It's the least we could do after all of this mess...

Black: Is that the stress ball room?

Horror: the one with a colorful door and a constant squeaking sound coming from it? Mhm. Wanna see?

Black: YES PLEASE!

Dust: *smirking and holding the handle* okaaaay...

(its turning full circle, we have included stress balls again, h o w

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: oh i love this room its really fun. Nightmare has a lot stress with his forgeries... if he hasn't kidnapped a cuddle buddy he's probably in here

***  
PitchBlackWings  
just- nightmare buried in Stress Ball Heaven, rolling around and flinging the tiny plushes and toys everywhere--

Error coming in and them having a snowball fight but with a pool of stress balls--

Nightmare falling asleep holding a giant plush and Error in his arms while 'floating' on top of the stress balls--

ITS SUCH A CUTE MENTAL IMAGE OH MY GOD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
the boys find that nightmare..... likes to bury himself entirely in the stress material. if alone in the ball room he will sleep and either curl into a ball underneath all the stress balls OR lay flat and only the tips of his tentacles can be seen from the outside of the stress balls. if he is just resting not sleeping.... he loafs... like a cat... on the stress materials. he really only visits the room alone if he was having a hard time reining in his violent and aggressive tendencies, his tentacles can squeeze the life out of the stress dolls not his boys.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: *opening door* HEY NIGHTMARE YOU IN HERE?! BAKE WANTED TO ASK YOU IF--

NM: *mauling the stuffing out of a rather large pillow with Ink's likeness on it (internet shit is weird -.-)* hhhrrrrAAAAAAHHHRR- *stuffing and cloth bits are flung constantly in the air*

Killer: …it's one of those days again isn't it…?

NM: *actually ripping throught the pillow with his teeth while his tentacles pin it down* hrhhhhrrrrggmmrrrhrrrr....

Killer: I'll tell Bake that you're busy--

NM: *rips apart the top/head of the pilow into a million tiny bits*

Killer: --and I'll let Error know that you might need cuddles later too.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Feral angry noots needing error cuddles to calm down...... poor baby  
NM: gggrrrrrrrrr *in a mess of torn fluff*  
Error: Night? you okay  
NM: ..... mrrrpf... * peeking out of the fluff*  
Error: c'mere night

Fluffy cuddles insue

***  
PitchBlackWings  
i just "AWWE"'d so hard you do not even understand how cute this is-- aaaaaaaaaaa

NM: *crawls reluctantly out of the fluff to lay down in Error's lap* mrrphrrgrr...

Error: Aww. What happened, Cuddle Puddle? Did Ink try something stupid again?

NM: *slumping, frustrated nod* mmmmhm.

Error: *grabs his boyfriend and pulls him into a tight hug while petting him somewhat awkwardly* It's okay. It's alright. I'm here...

NM: *leaning into the touches and returning he hug loosely with his tendrils* …thank you, Error.....

Error: *continues to pet Nightmare* Do you wanna talk about it, Nighty?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: .... he made a pink ink creature that looked like me and liked strawberries.... and it wanted to touch me..... *slowly shifts a tentacle over, it has pink smeared on it* .... i keep finding more pink on me after I killed it.... *snuggles into error* ... it won't get off...  
Error: *pets down NM's spine* hey why don't I give it a try?  
NM: *peeks up* .... i don't want to get up though.  
Error: *reaches into a portal and grabs a basin if warm water and a cloth* ill just try this for now.  
NM:......... thanks ruru..  
Error: you would do it for me in a soul beat. Now let's see what I can do....

***  
PitchBlackWings  
IS THAT A REFERENCE TO STRAWBERRY NIGHTMARE-- aaaaahahaha cant breATHE--

Error is just- washing the tendrils softly to get the pink off, and Nightmare is just laying there in his boyfriend's lap purring softly because GROOMING IS NICE.

Error: …that's the last of it--?

NM: *holds up two more stained tendrils with a sigh* …

Error: …gdit what was the creature even made of?!

NM: It smelled like a strawberry milkshake with just a hint of acid corruption. I mean... it looked edible…?

Error: w h a t

NM: I may have taken a bite out of it in my anger.

Error: …what did it taste like…?

NM: strawberry milkshake, tar, and suffocating happiness.

Error: ...Wow haha um do you need a mint or something, acid reflux medicine, are you okay-?

NM: It was edible. It just tasted awful. I'm fine.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
\- Now i just see a pissed feral NM biting and tussling with a confused as fuck Strawberry NM that is really scared, like alley cats. Dream was traumatized, there was lots of hissing.-

Error: ...night...  
NM: ...it wasn't exactly my plan to fight a milkshake copy of me .... things happened ok? *shifts so error can have am easier time*  
Error: Hmmm... i bet you fought like a deranged alley cat.  
NM: *stiffens* ...nooooo...

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: …How many bites did you even take...?

((flashback to Nightmare tackling Strawberry NM, digging his tendrils into the other's bones/strawberry-colored tentacles, and ripping it apart with his claws and teeth.

Dream: Night please stop!! Strawberry didn't do anything wrong! He is innocent, please let go of-!

NM: *frenzied hissing and roaring as he tears off several tendrils and a leg all at once before biting through a hand with his fangs*

Dream: *about to throw up*

Strawberry NM: *slithers from underneath Nightmare and begins running/limping away with one leg and several tendrils bc his other leg is stil regenerating* P-PLEASE STOP THIS, WHAT D-DID I DO TO YOU, SOMEONE H-HELP ME-!!

NM: *charges after Strawberry with a loud yowling roar* GET BACK HERE SO I CAN REARRANGE YOUR VERTEBRAE YOU WORTHLESS MANGY--))

NM: …a few.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ... did you really kill him or did he slither off in a pink shadow?  
Nightmare: *thinking back*  
~  
SM: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?? * desperately slipping and sliding away*  
NM: YOU WILL BE DEAD AND DUST BY THE TIME I AM DONE WITH YOU. *viciously stabbing inches from SM*  
Dream: brother stop please!  
Ink: i didn't even make him an AU YET NIGHTMARE! leave him be!  
NM: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS *gets a hold of SM and sinks his teeth into SM's neck and shakes/rolls while clawing his shoulders*  
Dream: BROTHER NO! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!?!?!?  
SM: AHHHHHH!!! LEMME GO!!! *trashing to get away*  
Ink: *shoves the end of his brush in NM's jaws* Nightmare let go!  
NM: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *swipes at ink* GRRRAH!  
~  
NM: .... after ink pried my jaws of the pink things neck i kinda blanked out on rage... i am like 80% sure i killed it.... and if i didn't i don't think it will stay if it realizes i am around. Traumatized for sure.  
Error: *scrubbing at a particularly stubborn pink stain* it wouldn't be you if it wasn't traumatized. ..... is the left over anger why you tore into the plushies?  
NM: ....yes.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((I am sorry but all i could think was someone reading this out loud and reading the abbreviations how they look- "SMMM, NMMM"- i cannot bREAthe--))

Meanwhile...

SM: *curled up in a blanket next to Dream*....i thought i was dead...

Ink: Well if Nightmare ever catches sight or hears about you again you will be. You're just lucky I thought of creating a mindless copy of you to distract him- and that he was too angry to tell the difference by then.

Dream: *reproachfully* Ink! You are scaring Strawberry!

SM: …he... that other Nightmare was going to EAT me...

Ink: Probably, yes.

Dream: INK!!

Ink: Well I mean he literally took at least thirty bites out of the copy to stop it from regenerating…

SM: …will he come after me…? *shaking like a leaf*

Ink: I will encode your AU with a firewall so he won't sense anything out of the ordinary. He would have to be even better at sensing things in the code than Error, and I seriously doubt that he is.

SM: …*shivering in fear* I don't wanna be eaten... why was he so mad at me? All I did was hug him and tell him that he didn't have to be so mean and negative anymore, and he could stop hanging out with that toxic Destroyer and let his gang members go... I was gonna help him come back and be happy like me.... Thats what you guys said to say right?

Dream: …yes... I don't know why Night would stoop so low...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
OH SHIT THEY LITERALLY SET SM UP TO FAIL. i now cannot unsee SMMMMMMMMM and NMMM.  
\---  
NM: ...the pink thing said things like dream does.... i-i, it hurt thinking dream wanted... a happy stupid version of me... i know we are not in any way going to be brothers like we used too, too much has happened... but, ruru it hurt almost as much as the apples did that they ... wanted me to be that, to abandon my boys and you. i know it's not rational of me... but it really hurt and i lashed out... not that the pink thing didn't deserve it.  
Error: No one could replace you, we need you too much for that. and the boys would be lost without you, surely have dusted by now either from the elements or their own hands. I know i would have been beaten down long ago without you. *pulls a string blanket over them, all done with removing the pink* .... you really did a number on the plushies night. couldn't have done better myself.  
NM: *moves up to lay against error's chest, making error lay in the fluff* i had a lot of emotions to work thru.... can we nap here?  
Error: sure night.  
~~~  
A few doors down.....  
Rus: .... sans? the growls and shrieks finally stopped.  
Black: ... i hope thats a good sign. who knows which skeleton it was from???  
Rus: well Mr. Nightmare did say he had rage issues...  
Black: what could he have possibly been fighting in the manor though?  
Rus: maybe a bear? or one of the mountain cats or lions we saw on the books in the dump!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Oh my god Rus and Black- and SMMMM NMMM--

Killer: Hey yeah look, the boss had another rage thing and we need a restock....

OuterTale Grillby: …You need fifteen pounds or twenty five…?

Killer: More like fifty...

OT Grillby: I do NOT envy the one who made him angry this time. Large or small?

Killer: …25/25, just half it?

OT Grillby: *drags several ginourmous sacks of stress balls and plushies he recently made outside to Killer* …this good…?

Killer: yeah, thanks dude. You're a lifesaver. *hands OT Grillbz several expensive pieces of china bc he collects them*

OTGrillby: no problem. Come again!

-later that morning, bc Error and Nighty apparently slept all night in the stressballpit-

(at breakfast table)

Rus: …Mr Nightmare sir? Are you okay?

NM: Sure I am, why do you ask?

Black: It sounded like you were fighting a mountain lion yesterday! Or twenty mountain lions!

NM: …I was in the stress ball pit.

Killer: I got fifty pounds of plush to restock it for ya later Dad. All that loose fluff is nice to lay on, but not to attack, right?

NM: Yeah, Killer... thank you. After breakfast I need to search the AUs to make sure Ink hasn't made another one and gotten another copy of... whatever that was. That monstrosity shouldn't exist.

Dust: Yeah… Error told us about it while you were taking a shower to get the fluff off of your... everything. That strawberry you sounded awful.

Horror: It sounded tasty.

Cross: HORROR NO

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Killer wit dat black market Stress Balls!!! Killer keeps his supplier secret....mainly because thats his gift idea!)

NM: ... if you find it, it is on the instant murder list. i don't want a stupid happy looking thing giving people the wrong idea about me. What in all the AU's possessed ink to make a strawberry milkshake version of me?  
Error: on my rounds i'll keep an eye out for new aus ink could have put it. i hope it aint one where there are versions of all the outcodes, even powered down. those are the weirdest ones.  
Rus: ... there's a instant murder list?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
(i love eveything about this so much--)

NM: Yes. There is also a Slow Murder/Torturous Death list, but I really don't want that strawberry bloke to have even a chance of survival.

Rus: …who is on the lists if you don't mind my asking sir…?

NM: Ink, but he's immortal so it's kind of a moot point... that one swap papyrus who tried to kidnap Cross amd keep him as a slave/friend for his Blue… that awful lustfell sans who almost took Dust and Horror away and was going to do... pretty awful things to them...

Black: …not as many as i would have thought.

Error: Well I mean unless it's a big deal we don't usually bother with visible grudges. Too much effort.

NM: Those GardenTale folks who helped kidnap Error are in for it too, once I have some spare time to trash an AU....

Error: …you free later today?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: why error, that almost sounds like a date! *smirks*  
Error: * slight blush* a work date? Hmm should be fun, but we can't play too long or ink will show up and crash it.  
NM: *sigh* he always ruins our date nights out....  
Error: that or your brother shows up whining about this or that.  
NM: you would would think that a blanket picnic in a secluded spot in a Handplates AU would be enough privacy but some how he found us!  
Error: I wonder... we could try overfell some time? (Overtale + underfell)  
NM: hmmmm. That does sound promising...  
\----  
Killer: we also have a Favorite Shop AUs list.  
Rus: is it that hard to get supplies?  
Dust: well we would just take from to be destroyed AUs but error needs all the time he has to take it before the stars show up... and we can't show too much favoritism to aus to not have a pattern.  
Black: that would make shopping hard if you never know what stores you could be hitting.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Bake and Chicken always get excited whenever Nightmare and Error go on a 'work date' because it gives them a chance to cook fancy food for the lovebirds...

Bake: I wonder if they would like cuppincakes!

Chicken: Oh my GOODNESS Bake it's CUPCAKES

Bake: That's what I said, cuppincakes!

Oh my goodness could you imagine the Dark Sanses shopping at an AU that doesn't know about them- just, like regular shopping, Error is talking to an employee about which fabrics are best for which projects, Horror is chatting amicably to the butcher, and all of a sudden--

Ink: *bursting in through the door* NIGHTMARE!!! YOUR VILLAINOUS REIGN ON THIS AU ENDS TODAY!!!

Manager: *whispering in fear* ...Sir, Mr. Nightmare is a very civil Monster, and he and his family are some of our best customers. If you don't stop i'm going to have to ask you to leave immediately.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Bake: OH OH i could do some fancy sands witches! mini ones!  
Chicken: Bake, really now, you have to get to work now if you want to have them done by tonight  
Bake: ok! I will get right to work on the sands witches. Are you going to make potato salad or green bean casserole for a side?  
Chicken: Bake it is sandwich. And i was thinking potato salad.  
\---  
NM: Ronald i am so sorry about this-  
ronald the manager: this isn't your fault Mr. Nightmare, you haven't done anything and you're my most polite customer, and your boys are a great help like when i had that robber.  
NM: i was hoping work wouldn't follow us here and pester you.  
Ink: I think i need to call dream.  
NM: OH for fucks sake don't call him!  
Ronald the manager: sir you are causing a disturbance. i am going to have to ask you to leave.  
Error: *walks up distracted by the fabric samples he got* Night? what do you think is softer- Dammit ink's here.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
i am sorry but when you said Ronald was the manager all i thought of was Ronald McDonald the clown from McDonalds running a store.….. i am stil laughing hELP--

Ink: …You're seriously letting the King of Negativity shop in your store??

Ronald: I didn't know he was royalty, but I have no problem with Nightmare shopping here. He's a good customer and a fine acquaintence of mine.

Ink: But he's murdered people!

Ronald: He is civilized and polite. And besides, he saved my life from a robber a few months ago.

Error: …Ink, we're just trying to shop, for goodness' sakes. Leave me alone to buy my fabrics.

Ink: *pointing paintbrush threateningly* Like I believe that!

Ronald: If you do not leave now sir, I will have to force you to leave. You are upsetting my customers and threatening them.

Ink: Come on, Ronald, please listen to reason! These Monsters will tear you apart if given the chance!

Ronald: *firmly* Sir I will call security.

((its so much funnier if you imagine Ronald as Ronald McDonald and the security staff as just really buff clowns-- ))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(i was thinking a pasty red head BUT THATS EVEN BETTER HOLY SHIT)  
Ink: MURDER. LITERALLY MURDER OF ENTIRE UNIVERSES. I WORKED HARD ON THOSE.  
Ronald: sir are you under the influence?  
Error: ... technically he is.  
Ink: ERROR *tries to tackle error*  
Ronald: Security!  
Horror: *holding his face* I just wanted meat for a bbq.  
NM: God DAMMIT. We were JUST SHOPPING.  
Error: INK WE LIKE THIS STORE FUCK OFF *had dodged and keeps out of Ink's reach.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Serious Path:

NM: …We had better go Ronald, Ink and his partners will do more damage if we don't. People might get hurt in his drunken rage.

Ink: I AM NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE-- Dream get over here! *talking into phone*

Error: Here, will this pay for what we already have? *hands over some G*

Ronald: Yes it will. Security is coming soon, you don't have to leave, Mr. Nightmare...

Horror: We can always come back later, don't worry.

NM: It's not your fault, Ronald. But if you could send me the security video of him being forced out to report to our higher ups.…?

Ronald: absolutely.

(that was a half truth; Nightmare really just wants to show it to Fresh who stayed home so he could laugh at it)

or Silly Version:

three GIANT BUFF CLOWNS come walking up to arrest Ink and drag him outside

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Silly path:  
Error: ...even his own kind doesn't want him....

Serious  
Ink: *pulls out his brush* Nightmare! i won't let you get away!  
Ronald: SECURITY BE ADVISED HE HAS A WEAPON, CALL THE POLICE.  
Killer: ..... i wish i had popcorn.  
Error: *pulls string defensively* Ink, Stop! You are making a fool of your self!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Silly path:

Ink: *going limp in the clown security's arms* But I'm one of you! Don't you recognize me?! I'm an Honorary Clown!

Security guard: *honks his nose threateningly*  
(oh my god i cant believe i had the opportunity to type that)

Serious path:

Ink: Stop hurting innocents here! Just leave!! *destroying things with unintentional bursts of acid paint*

NM: *shock of inspiration* Ronald, do you trust me?

Ronald: Yes, Nightmare. If there's something you can do…! Security needs to hurry but the store is so big and the police won't be here until-!

NM: *gently grabs Ronald and holds him loosely with a tentacle so he could escape at ny time* Ink, leave, or else!

Ink: *gasping* …you… you wouldn't!

(optional plot twist: Dream bursts in BRINGING STRAWBERRY NM bc he is now a Star Sans-- up to u bc i have no idea how that would start out)


	7. From Blenders to Dream's Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this makes me giggle so hard pitch.

PitchBlackWings   
the title-- its beautiful--

Ronald Maybe McDonald is the best name ever

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
i love how it leaves SM as a lovely surprise!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
i have a mental image of Nightmare somehow forcing SM into a giant blender and making a giant milkshake--  
gdit

what is wrong twith my brain today

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
dude nm's torture days are behind him. And I feel like that would only make sm dizzy.....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
like a ride at six flags or something--

THE BLENDER

SM would probably just get really sick at any amusement park tbh, I dont think he has a strong stomach at ALL

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: NOOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEEEASE STOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!! *in a giant blender NM got from Sci*  
NM: *ups the setting*... your screams need to be louder.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
*choking on cheeto* GOSH DARN IT BOOKWYRM

SM: *faints*

NM: *dissapointed sounds*

that implies that there are other giant kitchen appliances used in the torture room...or just around the castle...

Horror using a giant microwave as a sauna or some shit idk i cant bREathe im laughing so hard-

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Intimidation factor. He was READY for when the pink one came.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
i love this so much-- imagine ordering it:

NM: You're gonna do as I say without asking questions or you're gonna regret it.

Sci: *whimpwring nods of terror*

NM: Good. Anyway I need one giant blender

Sci:

NM: like the largest blender possible

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Sci: i-is it for blending your victims together?????  
NM ... sure whatever. (is really was for making gallons of choco shakes for Error at first... then it became a torture method)

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Oh my gosh imagine Sci building the thing and everyone staring at him like he's building Noah's ark... he couldn't get the building rights for it at first because Alphys deemed it unsafe...

Nightmare quickly took care of that little problem.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Alphys:...... ok its for a ...... private client......* nm had threatened to destroy all copys of Mew Mew kissy cutie in the AU..... and cause unydne to .... have a little accident

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Sci totally knows what happened but he's too much of a terrified wuss to ask Night to stop so he just finishes it and Nightmare comes back like

NM: I asked for titanium blades on the side. (to cut the ice)

Sci: (fuck thats a really good way to shred bone) …we dont have that much titanium on au...

NM: …ill bring some then. By tomorrow.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Sci: Nightmare i-it's done. it has the blades and a slow blend setting.  
Nightmare: oh that will be great for slushies.  
Sci: oh oh god.... thats awful, those poor people.  
NM: don't like slushies?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM comes over after the phone call from Sci to pick up the blender and hes drinking a slushie and Sci is like OH GOD ITS CANNIBAL SLUSHIES

And NM is like what, u want one?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: *sips red slushie* Horror makes a good slushie.  
Sci: Oh goos where's the trashcan, *throws up in the can*  
NM: what the fuck is with the disgust??? It's just a damn slushie.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Sci: …oh goos... (i love that typo XD)

NM: …what? what on earth is wrong with you?

Sci: Y-you made your henchman into a slushie..

NM: …???

(two possible paths emerge. Noots either corrects Sci, or doesnt bother to, and Dream hears about the PEOPLE-SLUSHIES)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: ... you spend too much time in the lab, too many chemicals. I'll be taking my blender now.  
\----  
Dream: *next battle* NIGHTMARE HOW COULD YOU PUT HORROR INTO A SLUSHIE  
NM: ..... what the fuck are you going on about??????  
Horror: .... i'm right here???

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dream: …DO U KNOW HOW MANY HORROS THERE ARE IN THE MULTIVERSE?! I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD EAT A MONSTER!

NM: …are we talking about the strawberry bastard or--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dream: NO WE ARE NOT!!!!!!!  
NM: You heard of any missing Horror Sanses? Also horror i would love another slushie when we get back.  
Horror: you got it boss, Cherry?  
Dream: LEAVE UNDERFELL SANS OUT OF YOUR SLUSHIES  
NM: ..... who said anything about underfell???

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Horror is totally pushing Dreams buttons and he loves it

Horror: …The blades are a bit dull. It should be fine, but it will take a LOT longer for the ingredients to break down...

NM: I'll get some new ones later, thanks for telling me.

Dream: AND YOU DONT EVEN GIVE THEM A SWIFT DEATH?!?!

NM: Dream. Slushies are food. They are not people.

Dream: THE MONSTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE ARE NOT FOOD!!!!!!!

NM: …?!?!?? WTF are you talking about you idiot?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dream: THE PEOPLE YOU MAKE SLUSHIES OUT OF!!!! SCI TOLD ME ABOUT THE GIANT BLENDER!!!!  
NM: Why would you put dust in a slushie dream???? would that not make it all chunky and chalky????

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: …YOU ALWAYS LIKED YOUR OATMEAL CHUNKY AND YOUR CHEESE CHALKY BROTHER. DONT LIE TO ME!!!

NM: …you dumb bitch.

Dream: JUST BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT KILL A DUST SANS AND STUFF HIM IN A GIANT BLENDER DOES NOT EXCUSE YOUR ACTIONS!!!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: GODDAMN DREAM I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A SHIT TON OF MILKSHAKES. AND SLUSHIES. FUCK OFF.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: NO!!!! I WON'T LET ANYONE ELSE DIE FOR YOUR WICKED, TWISTED DESIRES, BROTHER!!!! THESE MONSTERS HAVE LIVES AND LOVES OF THEIR OWN!!! THEY DON'T EXIST FOR YOU TO TURN THEM INTO SWEET TREATS!!!!

NM: You dumb bitch. I-I cannot with you right now.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: First you tell people I eat tears now monster milkshakes! That are made of dust,Not m&ms. Wht are you obsessed with my eating habits!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: SO YOU ADMIT IT?!?! BROTHER HOW COULD YOU SINK SO LOW?!?!

NM: No. I don't eat dust OR tears you diet freak.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: god damn dream. I just wanted to have milkshakes for error and he drinks them like no tomorrow! Like I would rather make them than stalk underfells for milkshakes! Error can down gallons of the stuff! WE WENT THRU 5 SMALL BLENDERS ALONE TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH HOW MANY SHAKES ERROR WANTED.  
Dream: ERROR DRINKS IT TOO?!?  
NM: Why Do You Think We Attack SweetsTale and ChocoTale so Damn MUCH

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY INNOCENT CHILDREN WHO HAVE NEVER KNOWN SADNESS OR HARDSHIP AND YOU MAKE IT YOUR LIFE GOAL TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE!!

NM: …you know what Fuck You. FUck yOU. What if I went around spreading rumors like yoy did?! "HEY EVERYBODY, DREAM EATS HAPPY TEARS"?!

(2 possible outcomes. 1, Dream denies it and keeps arguing. 2… Dream asks Nighty HOW DID YOU KNOW OH MY GOSH PLZ DONT TELL BLUE)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
1  
Dream: HOW DARE YOU I THOUGHT YOU WERE ABOVE SLANDER!  
NM: YOU AREN'T THOUGH?!?

2  
Dream: HOW DID YOH FIND OUT AND DONT TELL BLUE.  
NM: ......what the literal fuck dream. Thats fucking gross. What- HOW DID YOU EVEN- WHY?!?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.  
Dream: ITS NOT SLANDER!!! ALL OF YOUR HORRIBLE DEEDS ARE TRUE AND MUST BE RECOUNTED FOR THE SAFTEY OF OTHERS!!!  
NM: DO I NEED TO START TELLING EVERYONE YOU STOLE THINGS FROM THE VILLAGE WHEN WE WERE KIDS AND BEAT ME UP EVEN BEFORE I BECAME STRONGER?!?!

2.

Dream: IT H-HAS PLENTY OF MAGIC SUPPLEMENTS T-THAT I ABSOLUTEY MUST REGAIN FROM T-TEARS TO SURVIVE AND BE AT F-FULL STRENGTH!!!

NM: I have A VERY WELL ESTABLISHED KNOWLEDGE OF BOTH OF OUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEMS AND DIETARY NEEDS. You do NOT NEED TO DRINK TEARS. I WILL CALL BLUE RIGHT FUCKING NOW--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
1.  
NM: i got all the damn true stories! What would your followers say if they knew you constantly stole for the village bakery!

2.  
NM: THAT IS A PROBLEM AND I WONT STAND FOR THIS BEHAVIOR.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.  
Dream: W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I DID NO SUCH--

NM: You stole from Granny Follen's bakery store all the time!! She blamed it on the rats, but you would come home almost every day with an apple tart or some shit you stole!!

2.  
Dream: GOD NO NIGHTY PLEASE--

NM: *putting phone to his 'ear' and patching through to blare out of the speakers of the intended recipitent* BLUEBERRY SANS. PICK UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
1.  
DREAM: YOU SAW THAT?!? WHEN?!?  
NM: WHERE THE FUCK ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY GET TARTS. WE HAD NO MONEY DREAM. ANYONE COULD FIGURE THAT OUT.

2.  
DREAM :BROTHER STOP NO DON'T  
NM: You damn brat! This is just unacceptable!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.)  
Dream: YOU HAVE NO PROOF YOU CANT--!!

NM: i have fucking PICTURES. Gabriel gave us a phone each, remember?! You broke yours!!

2.)  
Dream: PLEASE I WILL PAY YOU ANYTHING-- BLUE DOESN'T--

NM: *slaps Dream away with a tendril, disgusted* THIS IS STOPPING TODAY.

Blue: *from the phone* …h…hello…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
1.  
Dream: Brother! I thought you broke everythng from dreamtale!  
NM: WHY WOULD I BREAK A PHONE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE AND I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A REPLACEMENT.

2.  
(omg all i saw was hewwo)  
NM: Blue. This is nightmare.  
Blue: what-  
NM: Dream is a disgusting liar and He does not infact need to eat happy tears. he's just a disgusting pervert and this needs to stop.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.  
Hot take: Noots actually kept a lot of stuff from Dreamtale for both Nostalgia and also Blackmail.

NM: I WILL START SENDING RECORDINGS, I SWEAR.

Dream: N-NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE SUCH A DIRTY LIAR OVER MYSELF!!

2\. (oh my god just "H-HEWWO" im dying)

Blue: W-What?! But he said that he would die if--

NM: He is a lying freak. Don't let him do that anymore. How did you even cry happy tears regularly anyway??

Blue: He drugged me with his aura. A lot. But I thought it was life or death!!!!

NM: *grinding teeth*

Dream: *reaching for phone* BLUE NO I SWEAR ITS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
1.  
NM: * pulls his phone out* You little bitch. I'm going to send the video of you stealing the eggs from the farmers and throwing them at the people on the road! I don't care if I sound like a little bitch asking you to not do it in the video.

2.  
NM: my fucker of a brother does not need to be DRUGGING PEOPLE WITH HIS AURA FOR PERVERTED FUCKING REASONS

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.  
Dream: NooooooOOOOO!!!!! Brother why would you do that?!?!

NM: why would YOU pelt INNOCENT OLD LADIES AND THEIR GRANDCHILDRN with EGGS!?!?!

Dream: I-I was only a kid!!!

NM: and you are still just as much of a baby as you were back then. Suck it up, its on YouTube now.

2.  
Blue: *angrily* Well! That is- thats just- I feel violated…

Dream: BLUE ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GONNA BELIEVE HIM OVER ME?!?! I HAVE A DOCTOR'S ORDER!!

NM: show me then, you pervert.

Dream: (thinking of the crayon-written paper he forged) I-ITS AT THE DOODLE SPHERE AND I DONT WANNA GO GET IT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
1.  
Dream: i am not a baby! At all!  
NM: your a damn child!

2.  
Nm: if its fucking ink as your doctor I will dismember you

***  
PitchBlackWings   
1.  
Dream: IM JUST AS OLD AS YOU ARE. WE ARE TWINS!

NM: stop raising your goddamn voice you spoiled brat!! do i need to post more blackmail?!

2.  
Dream: H-He has a degree!

NM: In what, stupidity?? If you are going to lie at least make it believable.


	8. From A Stray Puppy to A Drill Sergeant.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got kickstarted from Jessita's comment! Poor Lemon and Choco...

Jessita   
I'd like to think that after seeing Nightmare hold Ronald with a tentacle, Strawberry is set down the path to becoming the snuggling scourge of the Star Sans.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
but trauma..... like NM went to TOWN on him...

***  
PitchBlackWings   
he's probably touch starved and horrifically haphephobic at the same time which is very weird and unfortunate because I would LOVE for Ink to wake up covered in pink strawberry tar--

maybe if he gets a LOT more comfortable with time he'll start sleep cuddling, who knows?

but on the other hand.... parts of him being eaten alive by his original self....

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
watch horror bring SM home one day and is like " can i keep it dad????"

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nighmare starts snarling and trying to kill him immediately (read: latched to the poor boi's neck and trying to bite through)

Horror: DAD NO

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Horror: DAD NO I WANTED THAT PUPPY  
SM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WHY ME!!!!!!!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *feral hissing as he rolls around on the floor snapping and clawing and biting* DIE. DIE. DIE. DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE--

SM: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO EAT ME I SWEAR I DONT TASTE THAT GOOD?!?!

Horror: MOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: *portals in* yeah horror- Shit.... *strings the goop boys up* Horror did you forget the pink one was on THAT list?  
Horror; ... But he could be never ending ice cream.....  
SM: I DON"T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT TO KILL ME! *pink Tears* I have done nothing and i just don't know what i did to make you hurt me!!!  
NM: gggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrAAAAHH!  
Error: Nights! HEY! You are gonna stress yourself out like this!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: *grumpy snarling as Error drags him reluctantly away*

SM: WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU?!?

NM: *renewed struggles and baring of teeth and hissing*

Horror: Aww... i wanted to keep him...! *puppy dog eyes*

Error: Your father would be in a constant state of Angry Alley Cat, horror.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
error: and you pinkie, your literal existence messes with him, how would you feel if your brother and his friend made another you that cut out much of what you are.  
SM: what?!?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Error: …wait. You don't know who he is?

SM: …Nightmare…? Dream's brother, right? D-Dream said that he got turned evil....

Error: You can't trust what Dream says. He's a possesive lying bastard. Nightmare is the King of Negativity, but he isnt evil.

NM: *FERAL HISSING AND TRYING TO MURDER SM*

Error: …he does have anger issues though.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: I can see that!!!! *pouty sad goop boi*  
Error: .... it isn't your fault you were made. But logic has nothing to do with emotions-  
NM: HAK! HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! PSK!  
Error: Night, calm down or i will have to throw you in the stress room.  
SM: I don't want to be dragged around and almost killed! i got my people to look after, ink made a few other sweets sanses.  
Horror: there's more???

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: Yes! Lemon and Choco and Melon and Sugar! …they help me with my anxiety, and we're just trying to make ourselves a home.

Error: Anxiety?

SM: yeah turns out you get a lot of trauma afterbeingattackedandnearlyEATEN-- OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY PLEASE DONT EAT ME

NM: *has escaped Error temporarily and is pouncing on SM furiously, trying to take a bite out of his neck* YYYRRRRRRRREEEAAAAAWWWW

Error: …Cuddle puddle, please...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: LEGGO LEGGO PLEASE!!!!!!!  
Error: Dammit NIGHT! You'll ruin your appetite for Alfredo NIGHT!!!!  
NM: *pauses in his tantrum* It's alfredo night?!?!?! Really?!?  
SM: oh thank god he stopped.  
NM: *kicks SM*  
SM: OUCH!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
okay i laughed

Error: I WIL ORDER BAKE TO USE THE FISH SAUCE ON THE ALFREDO IF U DONT QUIT IT

NM: …… *reluctantly backs away*

SM: OH STARS THANK YOU ERROR

NM: …*hissing* that alfredo is the only reason you're still alive so shut up you milkshake wannabe.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: what even is alfredo?????  
NM: SHUT UP YOU PRICK  
SM:*whimper*  
NM: ............. those star bitches never showed you alfredo??? Error tell bake we need some right now.  
Error: oh no not this again.....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
two grillbys deforst the chicken SUPERFAST but its still a wait for the alfredo and in the meantime it is extreMELY awkward... SM doesnt wanna set NM off anymore, poor puppersnup...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM is just siting anxiously at the table, held down by NM's glare. SM tucked his tendrils in neatly to not be a target.  
Error: Nightmare calm down, Bake is almost done. He said there is chocolate cake for dessert.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: …what is cake?

NM: *staring in disbelief* …what did Dream feed you…?

SM: …he didn't? But thats okay because I don't need to eat? I just get a stomach ache?

NM: …I need to have a talk with my brother about him and his pets.

SM: *quietly* im not a pet.....

NM: *growls in warning*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: oh i used to do that too, turns that pain can be stopped WITH food

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: …Dream doesnt feed you or teach you anything...

SM: Hey! I know basic stuff like-

NM: A stranger offers you candy if you crawl inside his truck. Whadya do.

SM: …crawl in the truck-?

NM: NO.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: this is why me and dream have problems. he doesn't think on consequences.  
SM: shouldn't i always try to make people happy?  
NM: not if it kills you or worse!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: ... why would anyone want to kill me if I'm trying to make them happy?

NM: Are you trying to make me happy?

SM: YES I AM!!!

NM: And I still want to stuff you into a torture device and record your screaming and put it on a dial tone for whenever I feel upset, so shut up.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: But you're you. Not everyone else.  
NM: I can be me how I like it. I don't have to be happy for others. I can find my own version. Mainly trying the blender out on you.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: …my version of happiness would be... not being put in the blender....

NM: but you would make ME happy by doing so. Do ya still wanna make everyone happy?

SM: …good point...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: and this is why I exist in the multiverse. Reminding people it could be so much worse. Complete happiness leads to apathy. If you never feel bad how do you know you're feeling good? Besides despair and anger taste delicious.  
SM: ......i can't tell if that manipulation or not  
NM: :3

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …why do you have a giant blender in the first place?

NM: So I can make slushies out of dust and the tears of innocent orphans

SM: D:

NM: …nah. its for regular slushies or for milkshakes. And apparently also for the occasional torture session.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: .... honestly? Dream gave me the idea for the torture bit. I got it for milkshake and movies night so I wouldn't have to keep making milkshakes during the movie. I hate being interrupted with error.  
SM: how did dream give you the idea???  
NM: he think I eat dust shakes and orphan tears. We both eat emotions. I don't understand how he keeps thinking I eat that. Its just unsanitary and gross.... and where would I get the orphams?!?  
Error: ..... aren't most sanses usually orphans?  
NM: eww. Just eww.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: Wait, you've been here this whole time!?

Error: Well yeah, it's pretty entertaining. And the alfredo isn't done yet.

NM: Mmhm. It'll be ready later, Error. Pasta is an art.

SM: Ink taught me art!

NM: .... what did he tell you?

SM: You're supposed to just do what makes you feel good! Don't care about the end result or how it looks after you're done, and if you don't like it and want to throw it away, that's okay! Just do what you want!

NM: ... *smoke coming from eyelight*

SM: *shakily* w-what did I do wrong...?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: that is his attitude for making aus and thats how the worst worlds are made! I gives me more work to do! If you don't at least plan a bit in art you'll never make it well or be satisfied with it!  
Error: true that. *sips milkshake*  
NM: ruru you know you won't want to eat if you have a shake before dinner.

Error: that advice is why me and mare have so much work honestly

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: ERROR put that milkshake down

Error: make me.

NM: *Mischevous challenge glare* Ruru....... dont make me tickle Cuddle you again~

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: *loud sip* you wouldn't want to show your sugar sweet copy how much i get to see the cuddly side would you~  
(Error is totally getting nm to show more than his rep in front of the pink guy. The pink one needs to know that everyone has multiple sides to them)  
NM: I will cuddle you if I want. No matter who sees *latches a tentacle around error* and you still need to wait for dinner.  
Error: i have no idea what you are talking about. *loud sip* i-  
SM: um p-please stop threatening me! That drink is disturbing.  
Error its just a shake- ..... oh are you by any chance made of shakes- OH. Huh...

***  
PitchBlackWings   
(Brain: SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH here, take the mind wipe. You don't remember ANYTHING about this.  
Me: but why tho, i love this thread--  
Brain: SSSSSSHUT)

SM: It's just kind of w-weird watching people eat something that is also ME... Could you p-please put it away...?

NM: (greatful look at SM for the help) Mmmm, i suppose that would be sort of weird. Ruru, if you please...? You'll spoil your dinner.

Error: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. But only if I get to wear your jacket for a bit until then.

NM: Why are you so attatched to my jacket?

Error: It's warm and cozy and it smells like you.

NM: *takes off jacket revealing (you get to decide XD, but my mind immediately went to a flipping crop top and i don't know wHY)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nm is wearing a worlds greatest day shirt.... he wasn't planning on working today.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
(I had to think over that typo for five whole dAYs before i got it XD--)

SM: …thats a nice shirt...

NM: My boys made it for me for Father's day with Error's help. It's my favorite.

Error: *trapped in a cuddly tentacle/arm hug wearing Night's jacket, reaching out for the milkshake Nightmare is holding just out of his reach* nuuuuu, my shaaaaake, givvit baaack

NM: …dont make those puppy eyes at me, Ruru, you know it'll be worth the wait. And you have my jacket!

Error: *cutest pouting face ever*

NM: …would you take some extra cuddling instead?

Error: *noise of happy agreement*

SM: *whispering* that is adorable

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM:my adorable destruction~ you should see how he can tear into worlds. Tastes great.  
Error: .... :3 *has claimed his milkshake back while nm was bragging*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …what about milkshakes?…

Error: …you traitor, I saved your life

NM: …Ruru. Do you have any idea how many calories that even has as well?? It's insane!

Error: …I'll do more string gym exersizes? And I'll let you have my dessert?

NM: …):<

Error: …I'll FEED you my dessert…?

NM: …:D

SM: …I wish i had my camera...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
error: look i literally can eat anything! I don't get why I am not allowed milkshakes when ever I want!  
Nm: because you feel a little bad when you don't eat with the rest of us at dinner.  
Error: .... ok i guess.......i still-  
NM: *snuggles into error* I know ru.

Sm: .....  
Killer: *click*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Everyone turns around to see Horror holding Killer's legs as he dangles upside down from a portal, allowing Killer to get a perfect camera angle.

SM: im sorry but what the heck are you doing

Killer: winning the BET, buddy!

Horror: those scrapbook priveleges and the 50g are OURS!!

NM: *blushing* I TOLD YOU TO QUIT THAT! WE HAVE THIRTY NINE SCRAPBOOKS FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT ME AND ERROR ALREADY!!

Killer: and this will be the fortieth!! *dissapears through portal as Horror yanks him up*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm: ....... they are going to be helping bake in the kitchen for a MONTH.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …you guys have scrapbooks full of cute moments?

NM:*slightly on edge* …yes.

SM: Can I see some of the pictures? I kind of want to make a scrapbook for my own gang now...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: ink made a chocolate killer and a lemon cross. For some reason Lemon is really ..... sour. Ink made me and killer sweet so it balances out! Lemon works real hard to keep the house in order.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …so there are candy versions of the rest of us as well huh? I honestly dont know what to think about that but you might want to keep them away from my gang as much as possible. If the boys' reactions are anything close to mine... I don't think your gang would get out as unscathed as yourself, no?

SM: N-no, they're not. And I won't l-let you hurt them! *scared but still standing up for his family*

NM: there you go, you need to learn to protect yourself and your people if you want to get anywhere in this Multiverse safely. I don't intend to go on a murder hunt for your gang at he moment either.

SM: …G-good. Otherwise I would have to fight you.

NM: *raises one eyebrow*

Error: …Dude. Nightmare just destroyed you utterly the last.... three or four times you have seen each other. I don't think you even know HOW to fight.

SM: …I can fight! Kinda!

NM: "kinda"? *skeptical™*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
sm: there's only killer and cross really. The others don't have versions.  
NM: ....how sad that you don't have an error.  
Error: i am the best.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((Error just- I laughed so hard.… gdit error))

NM: *pecks him on the cheek* You certainly are, Ruru. You are the best at lots of things.

Error: *happy nervously smug* such as…?

NM: Knitting, for one- I still wear your beanie you made for me.

Error: wait really? I never see it on you tbh

NM: well noooo my goop covers it so it just looks like my head grew several inches. but its so comfy.

Error: OOOOOOHHHH THATS WHY YOU LOOKED THAT WAY YESTERDAY i thought your brain was gonna explode or something from working too hard.

SM: PFFFFT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: ......error... nevermind. You are the best cuddler too.  
Error: yep I am. You wanna do a bath later?  
NM: sounds lovely.  
SM: ...... what would a candy error be?  
Error: dark chocolate  
NM: ....... i bet licorice.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: why licorice tho

NM: because licorice can be sweet or tangy or bitter or fruity depending on the kind. You're not just bittersweet chocolately, you're complicated and amazing and I love you *nuzzles him*

Error: *the Greatest Blush™*

Chicken: *peeking in through the hallway* Excuse me sirs? Dinner is almost done.

((now i just have a mental image of SM coming to NM for dating help bc he is dating..... idek man who would SM date?? chocokiller? lemoncross? both?? Ccino??? Outer??? the ships are endlesssss))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
( i vote choco and lemon. And sm is worried to ever let cross or error near choco or lemon. What if they eat choco???)  
NM: ..... also your strings error. The licorice would been the equivalent.  
Error: ........... really night?  
NM: come on the Alfredo is almost ready and I think bake made garlic bread.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *eye sparkling* Whoaaaaa

NM: *finally smiling at him* it's great isnt it?

Bake: If Mr. Nightmare agrees, you can take the leftovers home. We have plenty. Comes from cooking for six people regularly....

SM: Wait. You're planning on... letting me go home...?

NM: Well we still need to have a long, LONG talk... Especially if you have your own people to go home and protect.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: i cant let you go without you being able to at least defend. Think of my reputation. If YOU can't defend whats your then how would they think of me?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …thats fair I guess... but what if im gone, like now? Lemon and Choco dont know how to fight!

NM: bring them over here later then. We can teach them. Aftfer all I cant have people thinking my gang is weak either.

SM: B-but what if you tried to eat them like you did with me?!

NM: eeeeh most people are pickier than I am. I wasnt actually tryin to eat you anyway, just got carried away with biting. But you dont have to run into Error or Cross if you dont want to.

SM: …that is worrying.

NM: Hey I dont like very sweet things. I was hungry though.

SM: …can I at least call Choccy and Lem and let them know I am okay? They must be so panicked....

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: if anything the lemon one is more my alley. But as long as you stick to the rules I see no problems. I will have to tell chicken about having guests. And get black and his brother to build some baby steps training equipment..... Error: tell me the au and ill open a window for you to get them

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: uhh we named it Happy Deathtrap if that helps any?

NM: im sorry did you say happy deathtrap

SM: Choco wanted Happyland because it sounded nice and Lemon wanted Horror Deathtrap to ward off intruders so we compromised

NM: of course.

Error: Here we go *opens up a portal to a rather nice living room with Choco and Lemon sitting on the couch. they immediately jump to their feet, Choco hiding behind Lemon at the sight of the Monsters that SM had told almost ate him alive*

Lemon: Strawberry what the FUCK are you doing with THEM?!?!

Choco: Strawberry!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(Choco is a sweet boi killer and lemon is a sour boi cross)  
SM: well apparently I am not allowed to ruin nightmares reputation so we are getting training?  
Lemon: the guy almost killed you!  
NM: i do have a reputation to uphold.  
Error: hey small bites get over here. Night has invited you for training and strawberry agreed. We can't let versions of us be caught untrained.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Lemon: *fuming at Error* "small bites". Why I oughtta--

Error: if he attacks me i will laugh

NM: no killing or eating them, they arent as sturdy as " strawberry nightmare ".

Error: ...not even a nibble? *pouts*

NM: …if he attacks you then you are allowed to nibble. but only a little bit. if you want candy that badly I will get you some later. *gives him a quick kiss on the cheek*

Choco: awww....

Lemon: *scornfully* He looks like he couldn't hurt a fly!

NM: *casually* I could kill you in a hundred different ways right now if i wanted to, and thats the problem. *nuzzles Error absentmindedly after the other returns the kiss* You need to know how to sufficiently defend yourselves.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: should probably give them rooms away from horror. Maybe let black or rus get a look at them... black was a guard captain. He could handle basic training right? Then yoh and I could do the more advanced stuff  
NM: not a bad idea ru.... now I should probably let the boys know what going on...can you keep an eye on them?  
Error: hmmm. I guess. Hey snacks! This is your chance to get shit you'll need for at least a few weeks! Like if you have to do anything cus yer candy or whatever. Like your favorite knifes or something.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((dude what shipname should we use for SM/Choco/Lemon???? CandyShake? SweetTart?? idekkkk))

Lemon: BERRY DID YOU APPROVE THIS

SM: *shakes hand in uncertain motion*

Choco: cmon Lemon, not like we have anything better to do at the moment. Unless you wanna see Ink and Dream again for the weekly meeting....

Lemon: UGH NO NOT THOSE SKETCHY BASTARDS AGAIN

NM: sketchy bastards?

Lemon: I do NOT trust EITHER of them. Dream is way too happy to be healthy and Ink is a jerk to me and Choccy.

NM: …I like your attitude, kid. You have thirty minutes, go pack your stuff or leave a message to panic Dream when he comes over or whatever, Error will pick you back up then. That goes for you too Pinky. *shoves SM back thru the portal along with Choco and Lemon before closing it*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
error: ....they should have been able to dodge that. Wow ink made them wimpy

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Black: *sighing* That was a slow blow, With plenty of body language warning! You should have been able to dodge! You are sanses, but you have the WORST dodging skills of any sans I have ever seen so far...

Choco: ...Nightmare called us weak too. Its not our fault!

Rus: Nightmare can say what he wants because he could destroy anyone in this castle in a fighting scenario. You need to start MAKING yourselves stronger so you can protect each other.

Lemon: Fine.

Black: Dont take it too personally... that was just a test to see how much you knew.

Rus: Which is none. That is to say, nothing.

Choco: …Where's Strawberry…? Isnt he supposed to be learning too?

Black: Count yourselves lucky that you get me and Papy. The Boss wanted to teach his... other him... some moves himself.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Lemon:.....he's dead isn't he?  
**********  
NM: your tentacles are weak and you need to work on multitasking!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM trying to perfect a forward slash while NM is dodging so easily he is almost bored. Every so often NM will push him ever so slightly off balance, and SM is so focused and not expecting it he just TOPPLES over.

SM: *tears in his eyes* I cant do this!

NM: Do NOT give me that bullshit. Do you think I don't know your capabilities? You arent me, but youre plenty close enough to use some simple fighting techniques.

SM: But it's hard!

NM: Someone WILL come after you and your family eventually. Do you want to be helpless or do you want to FIGHT BACK?!

SM: I WANT to save them okay?! BUT I DONT KNOW HOW!!! *finally lands a soft hit, much to NM's surprise* And im scared…!

NM: …

NM: ….okay. I'll show you again. We're going to have a talk later, though.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(That hit was like a kittens to nm)  
NM: black can you and rus make some puzzles that require creative use of tentacles? The pjnk one need to learn to use them more often. And more effectively.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Black: …Hello Sci, we're here for a speed order for parts-?

Sci: *worried/scared* …Are you sure you want to work for... HIM?… *wheeling out parts*

Rus: He's a good employer. Why?

Sci: *whispering* He... Nightmare EATS his subordinates!

Black: …like on occasion or

Sci: *hyperventilating* hE MAKES SMOOTHIES OUT OF THEIR DUST!! I made him the giant blender myself under duress!!!!

Rus: so THATS what he was trying to do to Strawberry. Nice.

Sci: *unbelieving panicked mumbling gesturing noises*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Black: he isn't with us. Maybe we will get to see that happen to strawberry....... hey brother? Do you think choco could melt or be blended? He is a lot like strawberry.......  
Rus: we should get these parts back..... boss isn't to happen with how little they new guys know.....

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: alright I originally wanted to go until at least two hours had passed but Rus and Black are back and you all are out of shape weaklings so we can take a lunch break.

SM: oH thAnK gOd

NM: I need to have a long talk with all three of you before lunch however. If you need water, go get it now.

Lemon: *sarcastically* what not going to let us die of dehydrations and feed on our suffering?

NM: …do not tempt me. You are LITERALLY made of candy.

Error: Until you three learn basic defensive and offensive moves, you're basically walking around with 'FREE FOOD!' signs on your back.

NM: oh hello Ruru.

Error: Bake says that lunch is going to be chicken fried steak.

NM: yus

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: should we get cross and killer in to help train them? Once they can shortcut more than 10 times in a row and have basic training done?  
NM: hmmmm maybe. Did bake say if there was tea today?  
Lemon: *wheezing* can..huff.... can you guys even do half this shit???  
Choco: lemon dont provoke them! *is sitting and breathing heavy*  
SM: *passed out and napping*  
NM: .....you doubt our skills?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Lemon: FUCK YES I DOUBT YOUR SKILLS!! You're just trying to make us seem weak or something, and I don't like it!!

NM: …hm. How about you watch a spar between the two most skilled of us to put your doubts to rest?

Choco: *hands in front of his face* LeMON……

Lemon: and who would that be?

NM: the two oldest members of course, agewise. Error and myself.

Lemon: *clearly restraining himself* When would that be…?

NM: after tea/lunchbreak. When your 'leader' isnt passed out on the floor.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Killer: ... wait does that mean me and dust gotta look for a au to be your battlefield?  
NM: yep if you hurry you won't miss lunch.  
Choco: lemon! Whyyyyyyy!  
Killer: ..... how are you supposed to me?  
Choco: *flopped on ground* ugggh.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Choco: *flopping spasmatically on the ground like a fish* AughhhhhHHHHH

Killer: *wincing* …was I ever this annoying?

Error: Gossip club

Killer: …ok point taken. Come on Dust, do you wanna miss lunch?

Dust: nooooo! I want chocken friend steakkkkk!

Chicken, coming outside to tell everyone lunch would be ready in ten minutes: *eye twitch*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken: ....  
Choco: ..... would I melt near you...? Can I melt?  
Chicken: .... lunch is ready.  
Killer: oooooooh chicken only gets like that when really annoyed!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Killer: Awwwww cmon Chicken, lighten up. *nudges him* if you let him get to you,he will make a habit of calling everything chicken 'choken'… youll never get away from it!

Chicken: *annoyed huff*

Choco: IF I MELTED WOULD I BE A LIVING PUDDLE OR JUST DEAD

Error: you would be chocolate milk.

Choco: yes but WAIT NO THATS NOT WHAT I--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Lemon: ...... choco calm the fuck down. Your fine.  
Choco: ...... *chocolate tears in the corner of his eyes* Lemon! I just! This is all very frustrating to me.  
Error: ....you cry chocolate? Like real chocolate?  
Choco: I am always crying! It's a thing that happens!  
Killer: i cry out my hatred. You lucky chocolate tastes good.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Error bringing out a cup and asking Choco if he could Please Cry Into the Cup of Shame or perhaps the Fondue Fountain of Agony because he is wasting Good Chocolate™ that could be used to make better milkshakes. Choco just like ;-; why tho ;-; aint that indirect cannibalism ;-; napkin plz ;-; oh shit i forgot ;-; now its just stuck to my face ;-;

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
error: .....can keep this one?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Choco: nnnNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!! *whining and yet terrified at the same time*

Lemon: he's OURS! get your OWN!!

NM: best to leave them. The chocolate might not be the most hygenic anyways. And who knows what its made from! It could have an ingredient that you could be allergic to.

Error: *pouting face*

Choco: A-AM I SUPPOSED TO BE RELIEVED OR OFFENDED?!?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
error: .... ok night.... they do need showers even after the light training. AND WE ALREADY HAVE ONE.  
NM: how about a dessert and show tonight ru? I saw bake making chocolate chip cheesecake. *pulling error to a cuddle hold*  
Error: mmmmm alright..

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer waiting to speak since he just got back, and he's all offended like EXCUUUUSE ME IM THE ORIGINAL ONE I DONT WANT A WIMPY CHOCOLATE CLONE AROUND HERE

Killer: eeeey boss we found an empty AU for the duel later between you and Mom!

NM: ah. Whats the name and number?

Dust: Islandtale #921.

Lemon: …is it on an island…?

Killer: "iS iT oN aN iSlAnD" whadya think candy clone.

Dust: it's a giant island. Yes.

Lemon: dont have to be an ass about it.

Killer: I know. But I like to be :)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
* on the island  
NM: .... alright boys since your watching, take notes. Me and error are showcasing moves. Going for lethality and complexity. I will be taking a look at them

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Cross: Aw maaan not more homework!

Lemon: *scoffing* this is a bunch of bull. Acting. "gOiNg fOr LeThaliTy"- pfft.

Error: How about a simple double-timed dodge followed by a complex one?

NM: Sure.

*Error shoots a Blaster at Noots, who dodges it seamlessly before shooting off a few corruption shards at Error, who also slips out of the way.*

Choco: …that was simple?!

Killer: yeah, anybody can do that, only one to two star lethality or complexity. easier than a teleport even. Wait till Error uses his strings, or Dad stars using his shadow magic and tentacles! now THATS impressive!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Lemon: strings? I haven't seen them yet.  
Killer: error can pretty much own the air and control souls with his strings. He is so cool when he is flying around on his strings  
Lemon: ..... what.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Cross: He has Gaster Blasters and bone atacks too! Error is awesome.

Killer: Yeah! And Dad can use his corruption for ranged attacks as well as close combat. He doesn't use Blasters much but he can change into a shadow and freeze people with his fear aura.

Horror: Im not taking notes for everyone, you beter pay attention or youll miss something important!

Dust (who has not been paying attention at all, having been distracted): SHIT

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Lemon: wait he was serious about that notes thing?  
SM: *has been taking good notes* I would take anything he says as serious.  
Dust: horror please let me look at your notes!  
Horror: take my chores for the week and deal.  
Dust: Horror!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dust: …Strawberry could I copy yours

SM: *scared to refuse* …

NM: *shooting down a line of corruption attacks to land in between Dust and SM* Hey.

Dust: WTF DAD

SM: hHhhhhhh I am goinG tO diE

NM: No cheating Dust.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: *got scared into a protective ball* OH GOD.  
NM: *still fighting error* CROSS THOSE TENTACLES MORE. THAT IS A WEAK FORM TO PROTECT YOURSELF

***(at this point we forgot about the error v noot fight...whoops .................... pretend it happened? and now we time jump!)  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: im TRYING!!!! *manages to roll away and shortcut into a tree*

NM: thats better. But now you're exposed. What if I started shooting at you?

SM: *crying with stress* WHY ARENT YOU TORTURING ANY OF THE OTHERS?!?!

NM: Error and the gang are taking care of their training.

SM: HE IS GOING TO EAT CHOCO!!!!!!

NM: what wonderful motivation!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: I DONT LIKE THIS. *trying to dodge and barely making it*  
NM: its not for you to like this. its called survival

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: GOD WHY CANT I MAKE THE ATTACKS

NM: you can. But in your own way. Your ATK stat is much weaker than mine, either way.... not the best idea to constantly attack in your case. *teleporting into the tree to take a few close up blows at SM*

SM: *dropping into the lower branches of the tree* what the ever loving FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?!?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: Aim for weak spots. throat, spine, sockets. even on fleshy creatures those are vulnerable. being made like me has ups and downs.  
SM: I DONT WANT TO HURT ANYONE.  
NM: Well they will want to hurt you.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *tries to whack NM in the skull,but ends up getting his tentacle stuck in the other's eyesocket*

Error: *turning to look at the two because his Oh Shit Nightmare NO™ meter is pinging loudly* oh fuck

NM: *frozen, seemingly in growing rage*

SM: AKJAJSSSAS FUUUUUUUDGE SOMEONE HELP I DONT WANNA DIE *thrashing around trying to rip his tentacle away*

Error: You're probably dead lil candy dude

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: *FREAKING OUT*  
NM: ....... one, good job for hitting my only working eye. thats at least a proper hit. two, stop freaking out every time you land a hit. thats weak. three, relax and the tentacle will pop right out.  
Error: ...night?  
NM: i can't be mad for good progress.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *releases his tentacle after some struggle, falling backwards out of the tree*

NM: …breaktime?

SM: *gasping* yes please

NM: alright, take ten. I need to go wash my face anyways.

SM: take ten of what?

NM: minutes. ten minutes. of breaktime. go.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: shoo shoo! Go on!  
SM: ... can i-  
NM: 9 minutes now

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *desperately* WHERE IS THE WATER

NM: go ask Bake, he has a cooler.

SM: *rushing over to Bake* MR. BAKE CAN I HAVE SOME WATER PLEASE *gasping*

Bake: Sure! Here's a bootled water! *hands SM a bottle of water while smirking at Chicken*

Chicken: OH MY GOODNESS BAKE ITS WATER BOTTLES NOT- NOT "BOOTLES" \\[·'.'·]/

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: oh thank you so much.  
Bake: your welcome strooberry  
Chicken: ...... bake. Honey. Cinnamon Sugar? NO.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Bake: *shit eating grin if there ever was one* But Chocken! What did I do? Im just giving dear Stroowberry some wooter! Whats wrong with staying hydrated?

Chicken: *sighing* you are incorrigible.

Bake: You know you love it, Feathers. *fond hug*

Chicken: …I love you too, Bake. but you really must stop mispronouncing words like that!

Bake: like what :3

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken: ... you take after your sans and papyrus too much.  
Bake: ^v^  
Chicken: .... your lucky i love you

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Bake: I know, flickerflutter. :3 *kisses on cheek*

Chicken:*reluctant happy twittering noises*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Chicken: *fluffs up his feathers* Bake! We are on the job!  
Bake: i don't think they mind! I just gotta get the sweet tea you made!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …sweet tea?

Bake: Yes, for after you finish training.

SM: wait training is still-

NM: *popping up from the shadows* break time is up slacker

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: oh no!  
NM: *swings tentacles at sm*  
SM: I DONT LIKE THIS

***  
PitchBlackWings   
((Sm is such a poor little kicked puppy why do i love doing this to him))

SM: *dodges frantically but still getting hit a lot* WHY CANT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE

NM: suck it up and fight, milkshake.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: MY NAME IS STRAWBERRY MILK NIGHTMARE!  
NM: and thats the most uncreative name ever.  
SM: I DIDN'T *almost stabbed* CHOOSE IT.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: well then choose a better one! People call me 'Murderer'. I didnt choose that name! I go by Nightmare, not 'Murder'!

SM: BUT I CANT JUST CHANGE MY NAME-- *caught in a stranglehold*

NM: focus on the fight if you cant do two things at once.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: i have practice andskill to talk and battle at the same time. you need to be better to try it.  
SM: *tearing up* IM TRYING

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: less trying, more doing! Choco and Lemon are going through this too. and do you hear them screaming?

SM: *struggling out of the stranglehold by melting, but cant reform again* ITS JUST HARD FOR ME

~*meanwhile..*~

Choco: IM GONNA FUCKING DIE

Lemon: FUCK THIS *tears in both of their eyes*

Error: lift your knees higher bitches

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
error is using one of his strings as a whip. He is having the candy boys run laps on a trap course Black made up.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Lemon: *wwheezing* THIS IS ABUSE

Choco: *screaming* IM GONNA DIE

Error: its been ten fucking minutes candy copies. If you are too hot, fail the Mud Spike Trap on purpose.

Choco: BUT THAT WILL ALMOST SUFFOCATE IS IN MUD

Error: ya thats the point. *cracks whip* now FASTER

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ... look gumdrops. you gotta get in shape before you play with the big boys. Black said he used a similar course for his young recruits. i guess not everyone has a torture au to toughen up in huh. *is casually following them on a couple strings suspended above the course*  
Lemon: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU????  
Choco: *struggling to jump over a barricade*  
Error: make it through the course and ill show you.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Lemon: i dont WANNA know what fucked up shit goes through your heads on a daily basis!!!

Choco: HELP LEMON IM FALLING AND THERE ARE SPIKES *after so many tries on the barricade, the ground has opened to eveal spikes. Choco is dangling ovr them by clinging to the edge of the barricade*

Lemon: OH GOD NO CHOCO!! *actually manages to teleport and grab Choco before teleporting away*

Error: There you go, much better! Maybe you need to be in mortal danger more.

Lemon: *collapsed from magic exhaustion* NO I DONT FUCK YOU

Error: Stop pouting. if you had actually been dying i would have saved you. maybe.

Choco: N-n-nOT REASSURING

Error: it wasnt meant to be. now get up and LIFT THOSE KNEES.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: you two have hide and seek after this course. A 40 min break in between.  
Choco: .... who is seeking us?  
Error: no no no... i hide you two in the forest around the mansion and you seek the house! ^v^

***v  
PitchBlackWings   
Lemon: THERE ARE WOLVES AND SHIT OUT THERE

Error: Nah. Nightmare chased most of em off when he first went crazy. The ones that are left wont touch you. if you dont make it back in time for dinner, ill grab you by nightfall. or what counts for it at least.

Choco: WERE GONNA DIE LEMON

Error: you will be fine. hopefully.


	9. A Few Loose Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a few short threads of greatness. i tried to get the meat of them snipped in. Good god i love some of you guy's comments. (i am posting Multi chaps today, dont miss it)
> 
> More SM torture, Christmas time, and Soupmare.

Darling_Angel   
Honestly I feel bad for SM, like I'm sure Ink at the least knew that it was a 50/50 chance at best of him surviving after saying that shit.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
ink.... really wanted to know what NM would do with a copy of himself.... and he had this thought when blue gave him a strawberry milkshake.... things escalated

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Ink wanted to abandon him but Dream latched onto the strange version of his bro... and he taught him his version of the multiverse's villains and heroes.  
SM was really destined for failure... Dream just stuffed his head full of unintentional lies.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
dream: maybe you can be a role model for my brother! Show him that being happy is great!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *quietly* I'm not sure he is going to listen to me....

Dream: Nonsense, he will love you!

SM: …but wouldn't you have a better chance? You're his brother right? Havent you known him for ages longer than i have:

Dream: …Nighty and I are in.. a complicated relationship atm.

SM: ……

Dream: ANYWAY WHO'S READY TO GO OUT THERE AND MAKE HAPPINESS HAPPEN?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: ...you are? ..... i really don't want to be eaten and ink made me a sweets gang to take care of-  
Dream: LET'S GO!!!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: Can I at least tell them where I am going so they do not worry about me? And get a gift or something to get on Nightmare's good side? Maybe--

Dream: Lets! :) Go! :D

SM: *quietly in fear* oKaY

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
..... Horror finds them and steals SM. Like he just knocks dream flat out and takes SM.

....... he may have forgot about the Instant Murder List

***  
PitchBlackWings   
its like Santa but so much worse  
SM would probably be really nice if he had had better upbringings tho-- and if Nightmare could refrain from eating/killing him instantly

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
true true.... but imagine noots lost a bet.... and santa noots terrorized LittleTale

***  
PitchBlackWings  
oh my god

just like

"No get off of me. Yes these are my tentacles. This is always how i look. Take the gosh darn present and go. No you did not get a nintendo switch. leave and go to bed before i get out the COAL you little child-beasts"

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Or even pressured into it at the hideout once the boys hear error never experienced giftmas

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM immediately goes all out and starts decorating everything and getting THE BEST present set up, his boyfriend needs the best first Christmas evr. And um if there is a lot of mistletoe around the house that might be good too.

just for decorative purposes.

Definitely not anything else.

Juuuust for decoration...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: .... Nightmare why are there twigs everywhere? this will be hard to clean up....

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: Its a christmas tradition. Its called mistletoe. When a couple passes under it, they can kiss for good luck.

Error: …o-oh.... but it's everywhere... *blush*

NM: exactly. *smiles smugly*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Error: is there a limit on that and is it only for couples? Do i have to kiss everyone under it????  
NM: ... NO, only me error.  
Error: i swear i saw cross peck killer on the cheek and dust blew me one awhile ago. i just thought he was being odd...

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: youre, what, 600 years old? thats a lot of time to make up for not knowing about things like Christmas, hmm?

Error: …a few years ago I wouldnt have had anyone to spend Christmas with.

NM: *ficking his eyes above the two to point to a sprig of mistletoe* Well, I couldn't be happier spending the holidays with my sons and you, Ruru.

Error: *bright bluuuueeeeee*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
AWWWWWWWWW

NM: oh look there's my gyftmas star.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Error: …I love you too Cuddle Puddle...

NM: Love you more~ *kisses him on the cheek and watches as his blush turns insanely bright, holy shit he is a flashlight now*

There is an awful lot of bright blushing Error throughought the holidays... not that he is complaining XD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: ..... i am cold error.  
Error: Lasted longer than i thought honestly

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare wants snuggles and heated blankets nonstop ;-; the hideout is drafty and COLD and he doesnt like it 3:

Error: …Night it's been two hours can we get up?

NM: *proceeds to carry Error out of the room to do chores so he doesnt get cold*

Error: *blushing* Cuddle Puddle thats not what I meant..

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM : error i am cold, and you are warm.  
Error: but do you have to carry my like a child???  
NM: that is the warm way

***  
PitchBlackWings   
for Halloween they dress up as the mandalorian and baby yoda. Error loves the design. Nightmare loves it bc he gets to carry Error around.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
omg thats cute

***  
PitchBlackWings  
i was gonna say disney princess stereotypes but eeeeeehhhhhh I can't see Nightmare going around dressed as a disney princess...

unless he did it for shits and giggles and to terrify the living daylights out of people XD

**************************************************2nd Snip*****************************************  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken pulling Bake onto a sofa because he blew up the oven again...

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bake: …I'm sorry....

Chicken: I know.

Bake: It's just... it was our one-month anniversary since we got together! A whole month... two since we first met.... I really just wanted to make things special.

Chicken: …The best part about your cooking is getting to experience it with you, Bake. The oven can be repaired, no problem... i'm just glad it was the chicken wings and not you that were destroyed.

Bake: *grinning* …chocken wongs.

Chicken: Oh my gOODNESS GRACIOUS BAKE--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror: .... no wongs?  
Chicken: .........................................  
Bake: no wongs :(  
Chicken: *anger twitch*

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Chicken ends up pulling up youtube videos of how to pronounce them and trying to teach BaKe....

The opposite occurs and Chicken finds himself accidentally sayin stupid shit like "chocken wongs" and "popato chisps"

And he snaps out of it and is like WAIT

WHAT THE--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Bake: OH lovebird! you said Wongs!!!!  
Chicken: ..... i hope my sans never hears of this....

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Horror's in the Gossip Club... of COURSE he hears about it XD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror totally tells the BirdTale!Sans the next chance he gets

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Horror: *swivells around in an office chair, petting a small stuffed animal for the full villain look* Hello there Chicken.

Chicken: Horror you know that's one of Nightmare's favorite toys you better put it back. What do you need?

Horror: …see I heard from someone that you finally came over to our side of pronunciationville.

Chicken: …???

Horror: *low whisper* c h i c k e n w o n g s

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken: ..... thats it, i won't hold Bake from his concoctions for a MONTH.  
Horror: no wait chicken, i'm sorry!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Horror forgets about the plush though. When SM loses his mind causing NM to lose his shit and be thrown into the stress ball room, he looks for his favorite plush.. only to find it MISSING.

DOORS WILL NOT HOLD THIS FURIOUS SKELLY WHO HAS JUST SNAPPED HIS LAST NERVE.

Run, SM!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Horror: .....oh shit i forgot to put the plush back.  
SM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Horror: ... i can sneak it back in later.  
SM: HELP HELP PLEASE! AHHHHHHHHHH!

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dammit Horror you could have prevented all of this...

SM is just hitting ALL of Nights triggers. Most recently:

SM: …is alfredo that creamy white pasta with chicken....?

Error: mhm.

SM: Oh I love that stuff! Best food i have tasted.

NM: *slight relaxing*

SM: I just LOVE the crunch the chocken nuggets give it...

NM: *UNHOLY ANGER*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
DAMMIT THAT MADE ME SNORT

***  
PitchBlackWings   
the ultimate honor XD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: if my brother won't teach you, i guess my way will have to do. i can't have you ruining my reputation

***  
PitchBlackWings   
so he like, force-teaches the poor Strawberry some of his ways.

NM: …and what do we do when the restaurant gives us the wrong order?

SM: …take it anyway and just be happy with what I-?

NM: *bops him over the head* NO. BAD.

SM: *pitiful introverted whimper*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: i don't want to bother them!  
NM: it is their job to be bothered!  
SM: thats a hard job and i don't want to make it harder!  
NM: No. be firm and get what you ordered.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM is such an introvert and he doesn't understand why everyone runs from him

SM: ...Why is everyone panicky whenever I go anywhere? I've never hurt anyone and I'm 90% sure I saw someone dive into a dumpster to avoid me!

NM: You look like me.

SM: ... you've hurt people? O-Other than me...?

NM: I routinely kill people and spread negativity to help the Balance, so yes. Comes with the job.

SM: ...

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: ... is that why I seem to get a lot of free stuff from scared people?  
NM: cash in on that. Thats a perk

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare teaching the poor misguided puppy things like Intimidation and Bluffing--

NM: Imagine i just threatened whats his name… Melon. Melon is in danger from me. I am threatening him with a knife. What do you do?

SM: *timidly* ...Ask you if you'd like to talk things over for tea at the house...?

NM: *smacking SM* NO you dumb bitch, you need to be tough, you look just like me, act like it!

SM: bUT I CANT MURDER PPL--

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: it is easy to murder people. There are so many ways!  
SM: I dont want to hurt people  
NM: existence hurts! By being you, someone somewhere will be hurt by what you do. No matter what you do. So learn to live with yourself. And keep whats yours close.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …I did tell off that old lady who was screaming at Sugar once.

NM: And by doing that, you hurt her.

SM: B-but she was being rude and racist!

NM: So you should have slit her throat for threatening one of your own.

SM: Isnt that overkill??

NM: No. Otherwise people will think you are weak and they will attack you and your close ones. If you think stabbing would be easier....? lot more blood that way though.

SM: *looks sick*

NM: …You strawberry ass if you throw up on my freshly waxed floors'-

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: i don't think I like stabbing  
NM: how about a gun? Odd for a monster besides like mobtale or something but a option for those who don't like to feel the life drain out of their victims. *passes a gun to SM*  
SM: *holding gun flat on his palms* what is that?!?  
NM: just a .22 revolver. They don't usually kick as much and you should SEE the damage they do to fleshy monsters and humans. If you hit just right they can kinda bounce around in the fleshy bodies. Tearing it all up!  
SM: *barely makes it to a trash can*  
NM: oh come on the 22 is a pretty common bullet anyway!  
****************3rd Snip************************************  
EyelessDrak  
first Nightmare now error ? wonder who will join the Eldritch (tm) next ?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Strawberry Nightmare (lovingly dubbed SM), probably… once he gets over his trauma at least ^^'

He is a Nightmare at the very heart, so he craves cuddles :3 but is also made of milkshake, so cuddling is very messy and also cold and weird until you get used to it.

The Eldritch™ Trio!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
the good bois

***  
PitchBlackWings   
The Best of bois

***  
EyelessDrak   
until they get cold/sleepy... I presume that SM has the same reaction to freezing temperatures than Nightmare ? more trauma for the gang....

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
maybe not.... he is ice-cream? ... maybe he do need a little warm to keep his ice-cream melty?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
he IS kinda the oposite of our favorite original Noots... i think he would like warmth though! But i think he cant be TOO warm or his icecream will start to melt way too much and just become... soup.  
Soupmare.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
oooooh god thats like shadow form for nm... sm turns to soup

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: …horror go get the mop, there is a sticky puddle on the floor

SM: *screaming from inside the puddle* HELP IM STUCK

NM: …nevermind Horror its just the hapless strawberry idiot. How the fuck are you 'stuck'?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: *tries to reform* i-i got too warm okay!  
NM: ... when ink made you he really didn't know much about me. ... would dumping ice on you work?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: y-yes but that would be so COLD!!

NM: suck it up. Imma get some ice. Stay right there.

SM: i CANT move though

NM: good. then you cant get more soup on the floors.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: gets ice  
SM: do you ha e to use ice?  
NM: ... i also got a mop. Those are the options

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: …okay but just a little at a time please

NM: *dumps entire thing of ice on him*

SM: *slowly reforming* AAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHH ITS SOOOOO COOOOOOLD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: *reforms* AHHH I HAVE ICE INSIDE ME ITSSSS SO COLD

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: AAAAAAAA I NEED WAAAARMTH

NM: you dumb bitch, if you jump back in the fireplace youl just melt again!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: Just open a portal and grab one of your useless boyfriends

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *tears in eyes* THEYRE MADE OF CHOCOLATE, AND LEMON CANDY. NO WARMTH.

NM: …how did you get warm before then

SM: Dream would hug me....

NM: dammit nope. nope. You need to learn how to Cuddle.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: you can borrow one of my boys or bake....i think chicken is too hot for you.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bake: …aw so you need warmth but not too much warmth? I can do that! *nuzzling up to SM*

NM: thank you Bake. Im sorry, but he really wouldnt get much heat from me, and Chicken melting him is counterproductive.

SM: *almost in happy coma* how… so… warm…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Bake: i probably am the coolest grillby. ... literally.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Chicken: well I think you are plenty hot enough for my tastes. *pack on the cheek*

Bake: *flares up just a teensy bit in surprise* awwwww, thank you, Chicken. I love you too ^w^

SM: *whispering* they are so meant for each other

NM: I know right?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: its too bad neither of them can open portals on their own.  
Chicken: ... bake? would you like to spend the weekend at my au?  
Bake: ... hmmm sure, i have been training Papyrus to be my assistant in the cafe. i think it would do him good to try taking on the weekend. Boss? can you send some spaghetti supplies over?  
SM: ...awwwww

***  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: *smiling* Of course, Bake. Do you think he would like the spare elbow pasta supplies as well?

Bake: Im sure he would, Papyrus loves all kinds of pastas and sauces!

NM: Then I'll send off the supplies right away, so he can get them all sorted out quickly.

SM: thats nice of you Other-Violent-Weird-Me!

NM: one, call me that again and you are dead. Two, its just common courtesy. Bake is a wonderful asset, its only right that I treat him and his as such.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
everyone likes chicken's wings .... bake likes the left wing....... nm is often under the right one. Chicken gets the couch a lot.  
SM: sooo ... you keep him warm?  
Nm: mmmmm.... in an hour his shift ends.  
Bake: oh! I'll get to meet your sans and coostomers!  
Chicken: .......... bake really?

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bake: what? I really want to meet them! and try Papyrus's spaghettini!

Chicken: Bake oh my goodness why must you do this to me

Bake: Maybe they will have gorlic bread!

Chicken: *flaring up* BAKE

NM: *basking in warmth* aaaaaahhh

Chicken: …you planned this didnt you

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
SM: ... did a grillby just pun? Coo-stumer? Like a bird?  
Chicken: i would never coo! Its inappropriate!  
NM: ... killer is going to love it.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Bake: …but you chirp right?

Chicken: *coughing awkwardly* well in theory with the right circumstances--

Bake: *snuggles closer to Chicken*

Chicken: *involuntary happy bird trill*

NM: thats adorable ;)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Chicken: *a blue flame blush* ... llease don't try and make anyone chirp in my cafe. ..... its um a private thing. Close family only.  
NM: ... oh. Thats why you feel .... oh.

***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare being able to sense people's emotions is the best. Like the most comedic awkward wonderful ability sometimes.

Chicken: I cant help it! Cant you stop looking at my emotions Mr. Nightmare?

NM: If I could I would. But i dont have an on/off switch for it, and its handy sometimes.

Bake: Awww im close family already? We arent engaged yet!

Somewhere in the darkness, the shipping club lurks. Horror is gonna drop a bomb soon…

((totally unrelated but dude the Mandalorian season two is coming out in October and im SO HYPED))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: ... dont you feel relief, you sugar rush. i haven't forgotten about you

***  
PitchBlackWings   
SM: *sinking into the couch in fear* fuck

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Sleepy Noot: why were you a damn puddle on my floor?

*************************************


	10. From Dream's 'Happy' Drugs to Tazing Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooh ohhhhhh. THIS CHAPTER OKAY??? ITS BEAUTIFUL.

Metaphorical_Tablesed   
Ronald McDonald and his security clowns is one of my new favorite mental images

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
I know right?

********  
PitchBlackWings   
*honks nose threateningly*

Thats what they hide in the back rooms of McDonalds. A secret collaboration with Walmart... and security clowns.

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
pfft

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Nightmare helps with the dirty work. Its borderline mafia stuff and Ronald gets a lot of threats... but nobody wants to deal with his Clown Vanguard and his allies.

The interesting thing is that nobody has put together the fact that Nightmare and his gang are the same people that walk around the shopping center..... but yesterday demolished a rival attacking grou from CVS and Dairy Queen.

oh god, all the fast food lines and stores have alligences, what is this alternate AU, i love it

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
.....ink has a deal with arby's

********  
PitchBlackWings   
oh god. Yes.  
The Beef and Cheddar Menace..... with a tentative mutual agreement between Target as well.

Could you imagine awkward, psychopathic, uncaring, eerily cheerful Ink at a gang meeting tho

Arbys Boss: How did the attack on Wendy's go?

Ink: *cheerfully* I killed somebody by drowing him in ink! But he wasnt important to the storyline anyways so it doesnt matter.

Random lackey: …it went well

Ink: They all ran away though... I couldnt play with any of them afterwards! Dream might have liked one of them.

Arbys Boss: speaking of Dream where is he? he only seems to come to the official buisness meetings...

Ink: ah Dream doesnt know that this is gang activity. He thinks he is just being helpful :)

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dream: how dare you people spike your food!  
Wendys employee: What? i only been here a month-  
Dream: I WONT STAND FOR THIS *knock the employee out with his staff*

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Ink: relaaaax, its not poison or anything. just pink sugar and bbq sauce spice.

Dream: *relaxing slightly* …pink sugar…?

Ink: *remebering the rest of the recipe* oh, and some cocaine.

Dream: …cocaine

Ink: a lil bit of heroin too :)

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dream: ........  
Ink:..........  
Dream: isn;t that illegal?  
Ink: *shrugs* eh

********  
PitchBlackWings   
((i am dead,,, cant breathe,, this is hilarious))

Dream: …does it hurt people…?

Ink: *avoiding question* it makes people happy!

Dream: OH thats okay then. Can I have some in a burger?

Ink: uh

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Ink: ... its for humans only. And special monsters. It might now work with your apple soul....  
Dream : .... oh.... it wouldn't work on nightmare?  
Ink: .... we can try!

********  
PitchBlackWings  
oh my god

they try to infiltrate McDonalds to sneak it into Nightmares food that night....

Dream: security is really lax here...

Ink: yeah, i wonder why?

From directly behind the two: *the sound of a nose being honked threateningly*

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
(goddammit that made me snort)  
Dream: ... whats in these tiny pattys and small shaped nuggets? That is no meat I have ever seen.  
Ink: i am sure he would love a happy meal.

the honking gets closer

***  
Killer: DAD! CAN WE GET MCDONALD'S? THEY GOT POKÉMON TOYS!

********  
PitchBlackWings   
THE HONKING GETS CLOSER -- gdit Bookwyrm i almost choked on AIR

Dream: A happy meal! with the happy sauce! I love it!

Ink: heh, yeah. Now let's forge his name on here so they think its for him.... do you remember how his handwriting looks…?

Dream: *shuddering* Impossibly perfect fonts. He can do Ariel Bold, New Times Roman, and Comic Papyrus from what I saw at the tree. But he prefers simple Italic New Times Roman.

Ink: …I should have a handheld typewriter somewhere hold on

*the honking gets steadily louder… the sound of oversized rubber shoes squeaking on sterilized floors is becoming audible*

***

NM: …eh why not. I need to check in on the buisness anyways. Ronald always gets his face into trouble and never tells me....

Dust: He doesnt wanna burden you.

NM: thats the whole point of our deal. im HERE to BE BURDENED with his VIOLENT MAFIA SHIT.

Killer: *looking at his phone, and pics of the new McDonalds toys* I want the light up Mage Charizard Y! Its so cool~

Cross: But that Mewtwo action figure looks awesome too! I dunno what to chooooooose…

NM: …if you ask nicely im sure Ronald can get you one of each

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
ink: DAMMIT MY TYPEWRITER DOESN'T DO ITALICS.  
Dream: ... wgat are we going to do then?

.... the sounds of a rubber balloon slowly... so slowly being twisted into shape... the splashing sound of a water gun flower can be faintly heard... the echoing laughter follows,  
***  
Killer: MC FUCKING NUGGETS! ......WHOOP.  
NM: killer get in the damn portal or no nuggets or toy.

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Ink: …imma try my best to write it out anyways

Dream: …INK THAT LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN SCRATCH

Ink: IM NOT A TYPEWRITER OKAY

*the sound of a homicidal giggle breaks the previous ambient background for the skeletons, a whoopie cushion being deflated slowly so as to let every decibel of sound be heard as clearly as possible*

Dream: *whispering* Ink i know im not a curser most of the time but what the fuck

***

The portal takes Night and the gang to the front of the resturant. Strangely, the security clown is missing...

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Killer: McNUGGET TIME.  
Dust: hey Joey's not here... where is that crazy guy?  
Error: i want a milkshake. ... and some fries.  
NM: ... ooh! The mc rib is back.  
***  
Dream watches a tiny car slowly roll to a stop near the pair

********  
PitchBlackWings   
(( *gasping with laughter* ))

NM: …where is security…? i know its late but all the more reason to make sure the resturaunt is safe.

Killer: I think they're in the back?

***

Dream: aww what a cute car. is a puppy inside?

Ink: i dunno. looks harmless tho.

*the door opens, and an oversized shoe steps out of the car*

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: ... Hey Rochelle, how have you been? I think my order today is going to be a mc rib with drink, a 20 piece large fry right killer?  
Killer: yep  
NM: ... a chocolate shake and a large fry, horror wants a double quarter pound with extra cheese... and fillet of fish and a fry for dust? ... so four total sodas. Rochelle everything okay with Joey? Usually he would be around...  
Rochelle: ... he went in the back for some reason. Been too busy to check.

\---  
Dream: thats not a puppy.  
The rest of Joey is slowly coming out of the car. Like some horrifying octopuc from a small space.  
Ink: thats interesting-  
*THREATENING HONK*

********  
PitchBlackWings   
((all i could think of was the goose from Untitled Goose Game and CLOWN NOSES))

NM: coolio. How much do we owe you?

Rochelle: with your Mafia Discount *wink wink* that will be 21.99

NM: *pulling out his wallet* … how much for the Pokemon toys you find in the happy meals…?

Rochelle: 50 cents each.

NM: I'll take... four.

**

Dream: …hey there! How are you? Golly you're big…

Joey: *slowly pulls out balloon animal nunchucks, narrowing his eyes*

Ink: Dream I dont think he is friendly

Joey: *raises his fake flower water gun*

Ink: …do you happen to have a typewriter that can do italics on you by any chance

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Killer: *happy giddy noises* Mewtwo!  
Dust: .... i got the stunfisk. Dammit.  
Horror: *has a charizard*  
Cross: ... lucario? Thats pretty cool....  
NM: here's your shake ruru.  
Error: fuckjng yes.

***  
Those balloon animal nunchucks are special made for the award for best guard of the year. Joey worked hard for them.

Joey: *demented giggles*

Ink: no type writer then....  
Dream: ink why would a clown be angry?

********  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: Alright go find a booth I guess, im going to wait for our food.

Error: 'Kay Night. Cmon boys, there's an open one over there.

Killer: *whoosing his mewtwo through the air giddily*

Horror: *shoots a toy bullet at Cross from his Charizard's mouth*

***

Ink: I dunno. MAybe its a sad clown?

Joey: *begins to swing the colorful nunchucks from side to side, holding out his water gun flower. Its filled with liquid Mace*

Dream: …hey he wants to give you a flower Ink! maybe he is friendly after all

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Horror: ... i may be physically older than the average sans... but i will shoot you with a tiny charizard still cross.  
Cross: hm. I just want my fries. Go for it.  
Horror: think I can get the bullet in your socket?  
Error: .... if that thing hits me its dead.  
Killer: *two seconds from accidentally tapping error with the toy* .... sorry mom.  
Dust: HEY! why did you shoot me horror?  
Horror: ... look its not like this is a precision weapon..  
****  
Ink: i don't want a flower. NO thanks.  
Dream: thats a pretty flower mister clown-  
Joey: *hits dream in the socket with Magic Mace #10 Guranteed To Affect Humans And Monsters! (Limited supply, sold in a gift store near you!)* Hahahahahahahaha!  
Dream: AHHHHHH! THATS NOT A NICE FLOWER.

********  
PitchBlackWings   
((MAGIC MACE #10-- only 29.99 per flower dispenser! 20% discount if you come in with the promo code FUCK OFF!))

NM: …i got the food boys. Dust get your toy out of Horror's eyesocket

Dust: sorry dad

Horror: that tickled. thanks for the food pops.

NM: You are very welcome. Error scoot down, I need to sit too love.

*violent Screams come from the kitchen area*

NM: …sounds like Joey has his hands full.

****

Dream: ITS IN MY EYES

Ink: Wtf CLOWN U R DEAD

Dream: HOW DOES IT HURT SO B A D

Ink: ILL KILL U CLOWN

Joey: … *giggles amd sprays more mace in Ink's direction

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: .... i know that flavor of scream and pain.... who would be back there?  
Error: mmmmm...... i love those shakes. And fries.  
NM: ... dammit whose is it?  
Error: you mc ribb is getting cold ... and i will steal your fries if you don't eat them.  
****  
Ink: FUCKINV HELL ON A SHIT BISCUIT THAT HURTS.  
Dream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

********  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: …okay okay im eating. But after I finish im taking a Manager Mafia look at whats going on.

Error: …mkay *swipes a fry*

NM: you could just ask, Ru.

Error: whats the fun in that?

***

Joey: *slowly puls out a tazer shaped like an elephant*

Dream: *tears in eyes* WHAT IS HE DOING, INK HELP I DONT LIKE THIS

Ink: FUCK IM TRYING BUT IT HURTS SO BAD, MY MAGIC WONT WORK

Joey: *demented giggle*

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
error always steals nm fries.says the taste better.

***  
Ink: *gets tazed* AAaAAAAA  
Dream: I DONT LIKE IT HERE.  
Joey: Wait your turn kiddo! I got tricks for everyone!  
Dream: I DONT WANT ANY TRICKS

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Fries in milkshake bro. Icecream fries. Sweet and salty; best combo out there :3

***

Joey: oh would you like a treat instead…? *hands him a candy

Dream: WILL IT HELP MY PAINFUL BLEEDING EYES

Joey: sure kid!

Ink: DREAM NO

Dream: *snatches candy and noms it desperately*

Fourth Wall Voice: But unbeknownst to Dream.... the candy was a PEPPER SPRAY CANDY made of PURE CRYSTALLIZED EVIL

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(DUDE THATS THOSE CINNAMON DISCS!)

Error: ...mmm... *steals a sip from nm drink*  
Killer: ... this was great. perfect. *satisfied noises*  
NM: hmmm.... while i check in the back... killer can you get an order to go for black and rus? they... would probably like a toy each.

***  
Dream: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A ANGRY CLOWN?!?!? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!? AHHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!  
Ink: Dream NOO!!  
Joey: HAHAHAHA! Jokes' on YOU! *threatening honk*  
Dream: *crying from agony*

********  
PitchBlackWings   
((OH MY GOD Y E S))

Killer: two more mcribs please, with an extra side of fries for both. And a Pokèmon toy for each.

NM: …im just gonna peek around back here and see who is taking up Joey's time

***

Dream: I CANT SEE, INK SHOULD WE MAKE A RUN FOR IT, MY INSIDES ARE ON FIRE AND MY OUTSIDES ARE ON FIRE TOO

Ink: I CANT FUCKING M O V E DREAM I GOT T A Z E D

Dream: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US MR CLOWN?!?!

Joey: …would you like another candy…?

Dream: WILL IT HELP--

Ink: DREAM N O

Joey: *threatening honk* Stop interfering with the fun, buddy.

((i swear "threatening honk" is becoming the BEST catchphrase EVER))

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm finds the two screeching in pain

NM: *walks back * hey Joey what's going on?.... dream?...  
Joey: mr. Nightmare, hey! How's the kids doing? I am so sorry you had to see this!

********  
PitchBlackWings on Chapter 6Sun 13 Sep 2020 08:38PM CD  
NM: The kids are doing wonderfully, Joey, thanks for asking.

Dream: OH GOD BROTHER PLEASE IM SORRY IM SO SORRY I JUST WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY AND THEN THERE WAS A CLOWN AND--

Joey: oh my god Mr. Nightmare are these people your family?? im so sorry sir I- ((joey has seen exactly how deadly Nightmare can be in the Mafia parts of the allegiances, getting on his bad side is NOT a good idea))

NM: Ink is NOT my family. And Dream is- well, i suppose he is my brother. but only biologically. in a weird way. Why are you torturing them?

Ink: FUCK YOU NIGHTMARE AS IF YOU WERENT BEHIND ALL OF THIS. ONCE I CAN MOVE AGAIN IM GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS SO HARD YOU WONT BE ABLE TO--

Joey: …i will taze you again

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Ink: DONT TAZE ME AGAIN  
Dream: HE GAVE ME ANGRY CANDY.  
NM: pffft, you gave him cinnamon candy?!? Dust is going to die of laughter. Joey meet my dumbass brother and his friend.  
Dream:NIGHTY-  
NM: dont call me that  
Dream: -I JUST WANTED TO PUT THE HAPPY STUFF INK HAS IN YOUR FOOD.  
Ink: No! Dammit dream!  
NM: .... were you trying to drug me?

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Dream: …IT WAS JUST HEROIN AND COCAINE ITS JUST SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

Ink: DREAM WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

Joey: *tazes Ink again* Shut up :)

NM: …Ok no. thats drugs Dream. You dont wanna see me high.

Joey: I saw them creeping around earlier in the dark trying to forge your signature on that happy meal.

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
NM: ... do you two not know how fast food works? Names are for coffee places only. Not mc-fucking-donalds. ... and dream ... get Google. Just... get a phone or a computer and get damn Google. It will teach you so much.  
Joey: ... should I kick these two out?  
NM: please.

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Joey: *grabs them by an arm each and drags them to the door before swinging them outside and letting them fly through the air fifteen feet into the garbage dumpster*

Ink: OUCH

Dream: I STILL CANT MOVE

Joey: have a McWonderful Day! *one last threatening honk before slamming the back doors shut and locking them*

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Nm: ... good job Joey, those two are i d iots.  
Joey: no problem. Say hello to your kids for me.  
NM: same to you joey. Keep up the good work

********  
PitchBlackWings   
Error: What was going on?

NM: Ink and Dream were trying to drug my food. Or try to pretend i had ordered food, and then drug it? i dunno what goes on in their heads.

Killer: what kinda drugs

NM: Cocaine and heroin. Dream says Ink told him it was 'just supposed to make me happy'.

Error: Did Joey taze em?

NM: He tazed them so hard

Cross: Pepper sprayed?

NM: *laughing* He used the cinnamon discs!

Dust: no WAY

Dream: …Ink what is Google?

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
.... dream learns.... and is very very upset. cocaine and heroin are not good!

Killer: ... ink told dream drugs were good?

********  
PitchBlackWings   
NM: …yes. Im sure he also tried to weasel in that drugs were not good for HIM. BUT APPARENTLY HE TOLD MY IDIOT BROTHER THAT DRUGGING ME WOULD MAKE ME 'HAPPY'.

Error: Night, breathe. Its okay. *hugs him*

NM: *trying to slowly calm down* ...The last time I was in a drugged state, I destroyed countless AUs within the timespan of a few hours based on void-time. I cant believe either of them would be so stupid!

********  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: remember your brothers an idiot and ink forgets and can't care  
NM: ... they are aren't they......*melts into error's embace*


	11. A Few Bits More Of Loose Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few Threads snippets that are just gold.  
> \- A reason for Ink's Spontaneity  
> \- Strawberry Nightmare gets Schooled (this one frayed into many little stubs. may feel a little janky)  
> \- FRESHMARE

trinity_of_trinities  
So while this is off topic, I've been stuck with this in my head... The normal stars have a traitor in their midst but the traitor is ink instead of blue.

*****  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
I mean inks goal is to protect the story the creators make. I'd believe it

*****  
PitchBlackWings  
Oh wow

possibilities Abound

What if he isnt actually clueless and stupidly random and dumb with an awful memory, what if thats his disguise?? like lmao theyre about to discover my secret drawer full of secret letters TIME TO MAKE A GLITTER EXPLOSION

That also reasonably implies that Dream is the one trying to do awful stuff to ppl instead of Ink. Dream is the one metaphorically sneaking into McDonalds so to speak XD

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Pffft . Maybe its more like ink wants our stories to continue and has to come up with shit on the fly to keep it on track?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
XD

"AH NOOO THEYRE LOSING INTEREST!!! UMUMUM UMMM WHAT ABOUT FLYING PIGS???? THOSE ARE INTERESTING RIGHT????"

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Ink is having a normal breakfast meeting with the stars..... suddenly feels the creators interest fade-  
*throws glitter on blue and dream, paints a fan to blow it everywhere*  
Dream: INK WHY?!?  
Blue: ITS IN MY SOCKETS! *tears up*  
Ink: *very very tired* fan service yaaaaaaay.... dammit its in my coffee

***  
PitchBlackWings  
its a constant struggle and he HATES messes bc WHO NEEDS A MESSY PAINT AREA but as Creators love seeing him SUFFER here we are

IF INK IS AWARE OF CREATORS CAN WE BREAK THE FOURTH WALL TO COMMUNICATE/TORTURE HIM, IS HE FORCED TO DO OUR BIDDING AND KEEP US ENTERTAINED AHSjshagsksgzshjshsj  
its not Fate making him create, its US BASTARDS (and nice people)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Ink: dream i sacrifice my carpet to keep us all safe-  
Dream: I HAVE GLUE ON MY RIGHT NOW INK  
********************************************************************************  
Pieceofaucrap  
At the part where NM said 'you should've slut her throat for yelling at Sugar' all I thought of was NM being a Karen, and threatening harm instead of firing people

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
He totally could be. a karen to all except HIS boys

***  
PitchBlackWings  
The Kraken Karen.

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
Like, him teaching strawberry  
NM: You have to threaten them when they do something you don't like to your gang  
SM: But isn't that mean?  
NM: They hurt your children, you make them pay

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: ... but they aren't my kids-  
NM: Fine they hurt your lovers then.  
SM: *tearing up* why would they do that???

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: because people are assholes. And you look like me. They might hate you and yours because of my reputation.

SM: T-Thats not fair! Why-

NM: we have been OVER this you need to get over your PACIFISM

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: i am LITERALLY MADE TO BE NOT AGGRESSIVE  
NM: It doesn't matter, this mutiverse isn't going to let you be

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: because they think they are the boss, and we have to put them in their place for messing with our family  
SM: h-how?  
NM: violence or making their lives miserable

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: isnt that the same thing?

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: No, one drags out for as long as you can, the other is quick relief

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: I DONT WANT TO TORTURE ANYONE

NM: Better get some Violence Lessons in then  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Noots gets all dressed up and breaks into a school with an old chalkboard, sits sm down, and starts the lesson. Violence 101

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Lesson One, he brings in a stuffed animal puppy.

NM: Now. This is your enemy. Kick it with THIS PART of your heel. *taps the chalkboard graph*

SM: .… *timidly pats the stuffed animal* …can I keep him

NM: no he is mine. DONT PET YOUR ENEMY

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Noots brought in his plushies as teaching aides and now is fighting sm because no those are his.

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: Now, these are your tentacles, you use them to stab people you don't like, and these are your bones and blasters, you shoot them at people who hurt you or your boys

SM: Why do I have these?! I don't want to injure anyone!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …Okay we need to get you ANGRY so you can PROTECT YOUR PEOPLE THEN. What makes you angry.

SM: …I dont think i have ever been angry

NM: *nearly flips table*

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: I can get Sad?

NM:... It's a start

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Sm: ... also my blaster only shoot milk. I can at most soak someone in milk.  
NM: .... fuck ink making you so damn harmless

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: Why did he have to make you  
SM, pouting: That hurts!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Sm: *pouts*  
NM: ... I guess you could drown fleshy beings

PitchBlackWings  
SM: I-I'm not going to DROWN anyone!!

NM: it would be easy for you though? Just grab them in your tendrils and douse em in milk. and keep pouring and squeezing until they stop breathing and the milk starts looking a bit reddish.

SM: *looks a bit sick*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: i-its strawberry milk its already reddish

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: it shoots only a gallon  
NM: Dammit, maybe the lactose intolerant people?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: .... do i have to to?  
NM: *is about to rage quit for the day*

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: Absolutely, and no arguing, or I'll have my boys use you as target practice  
SM: *whimpering in fear for his life*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: ....... its odd that even your fear is strawberry flavored

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: Your fear tastes like black licorice

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: Oh? You absorb negativity too???

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: Yes, but it usually just turns into sweets when I eat too much  
NM: of course it does

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: .... you are an insult to everything i am.  
SM: Its not my fault!

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: Ink made me! Blame him!  
NM:... Dammit you're right

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm: ...you aren't a spy...are you ?

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM tilted his head: No? I just kinda wish I was back in my AU

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: ... happy death trap? .... your not ready. At all.

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: please! No one I'd like that in my AU, the farthest that happens is the occasional disagreement!  
NM: Your AU is so happy it's sickening, literally

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: its a normal au???? Just with my gang in it???  
NM: exactly

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
NM: It's so positive that you can't even learn to enjoy it  
SM: huh?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: w-why are you so disgusted?

NM: could you STOP READING MY EMOTIONS and PROJECTING WHAT THEY ARE thats QUITE rude  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: empath manners you pink fluff piece!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: …what is an empath…?

NM: … *flicks the chalkboard around and begins writing stuff* this is on a take a while

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Sm: ... so not everyone can feel each other's emotions and have to use face and body language to guess???

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: That is the polite thing yes! However if you cant turn it on and off, BE POLITE and Never Tell People what they are thinking/feeling unless its for a reson, like blackmail or torture or the like. Then its fine.

SM: …… *slightly terrified*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: *has manners and morals when not murdering!*  
SM: *really wants his bed and boyfriend cuddles*

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: How is that rude? Dream does it to me all the time?  
NM:..... What?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: Dream is an uncultured tree child!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
SM: …so are you a.... cultured tree child…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: ... I have had the time to mature. I may have once been a child but no longer.

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
SM: So it's not normal?  
NM: f*** no!  
(Dunno how you guys feel about swears)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
I think swears are ok for humor just not actually targeting someone

***  
Pieceofaucrap  
I swear for humor or if I'm frustrated, not for insulting someone

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Yep!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
That is the Way :3 Language should be used for humor and emphasis/feeling and ease of reading! We have words, we should use them ;3

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Yesssss

***************************************************************  
Squid_In_A_Top_Hat  
I feel so bad for the candy bois

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
They were made harmless in the image of killers. I think what dream and ink have done is the equivalent of releasing a de-clawed cat into the woods. They were not suited for this.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
They have the appearance of some of the most feared beings in the Multiverse, but with added weaknesses (being made of candy) and no knowledge of atack or defense. Knowing Ink he probably 'programmed' them with a subtle thingamajig to make them even more harmless just in case they turned on him...

Tbh Nightmare and his gang are the best hope. They wont be the BEST fighters by the time their training is done, but they wont be helpless either. Maybe they can recode their firewall and live happily on their own…?

*slaps knee* aw listen to me trying to plan a happy ending when all we have done to SM and co. is kick the poor puppies around :'3

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Basically nm is trying to show this insult of a skeleton how to survive. He is ... being civil to a point really. .... sm hasn't died ok?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM pokes his head into the Fourth Wall Room, annoyed: I havent killed him YET.

tbh im pretty sure this is the most civil Noots can be to SM, his very existence is a dire insult and he is very frustrating. BUT at least he isnt on the Instant Murder List anymore…?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM knows sm didn't ask to be made but it still stings that his brother made a weak ass version of himself.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
would it sting more if Dream made an epic version of NM who was just a happy asshole all the time tho

Like a Freshmare or some shit

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dream NO. fresh mare would be a blight on the universe. There is already two menaces to the universe, don't combine them!

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ink: dream what have you DONE the notebook was UNFINISHED what is this MONSTER

Freshmare: *NM but with rainbow goop and sunglasses* eeeeey my wiggidy waggidy broseph hows it hanging

Dream: I like him! He is going to be my new best friend!

Freshmare: Would it be okay if I dunked that blue lookin dude in yer vat of spray paint?

Ink: WHY

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm: holy stars in outertale what the fuck have you done dream.  
SM: w-what is that. *disgusted shivers*  
FM: eeeeyyyyyyyyy. *finger guns with his tentacles* i can't wait ta invade ya in yer dreams!  
Dream: :3 I like him!  
SM: ..... I understand so much now.  
NM: STOP MAKING COPIES OF ME.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ink: I DIDNT DO IT THIS TIME I SWEAR

Dream: Awww dont be such a downer Ink! Look at how cute he is! *smushes Freshmare's cheeks*

Freshmare: Imma give you the freshiest nightmares tonight my happy go lucky pal :3

NM: GOD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM LIKE FRESH

SM: …this is how u felt about me right

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm: i- I dont even WANT to TOUCH HIM YET I HAVE TO TO KILL HIM  
SM: wow. I totally understand your point now.  
Error: .... *just arrived* god fu[n]king da[ng] it dream! NOW THERES TWO OF THEM

Dream: ... 2 nm copies or 2 fresh skeletons???

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: …two of BOTH you DUMB[arf]!!

Dream: But he is my friend!

Freshmare: aayyy now who toldja that shiny boy? And who's da rad tarry black murdery looking dude?

NM: *seething*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: he looks like a rad time *wink .... well tries to. His one parasite like eye blinks in a suggestive manner*  
NM: did you just!?!  
Error: ... dream retrieve your ...pet. before I murder it.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ink: Dream bring your ....friend over here so we can leave. I dont know why he wanted to leave in the first place but WE DO NOT NEED HIM GETTING HURT BY NIGHTMARE.

Dream: aww im sure it will be fine. Look, my brother already made friends with Strawberry!

NM: no im not

SM: we are NOT friends. barely able to be in the same room without him killing me.

FM: Oooooooo so you're a tough guy huh Tentacles? *raises eyebrows at NM*

Error: *seething mad bc NM is HIS BOYFRIEND GDIT* im going to kill you before Night even has a chance to!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SM: for once your boyfriend wants to kill a copy of you.  
NM: its because not only did he flirt but he is like the parasite.  
SM: ..... what parasite?

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …The regular Fresh. He is a pain in the neck. And everywhere else. All the colors....*shudders*

Error: Get the [funk] away from my MATE you imbecilic creature or I will BEHEAD YOU WITH MY STRINGS

Freshmare: *raises eyebrows even higher* you promise dawg?

((i hate him and love him so much at the same time, what have we DONE))

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(This boi wants both bony asses. Fresmarw wants in to be in dat)

Freshmare: sounds like a radical time~ *finger guns again* you can destroy me any time~. If ya get wut I'm saying bro.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
(that made me snort so hard my nose hurt)

Error: THATS IT IM KILLING IT

NM: …thank you i dont wanna touch it

Freshmare: Aww why not, hot rod? You can touch anytime you want~

Dream: *finally catching onto some weird emotions* Freshmare I don't think they are interested in being …friends… with you…?

Ink: he is asking for death and i cant even blame them for trying to give it to him

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Even ink knows better than to flirt with error.... (it was beaten in to him)

FM: sorry there dreamer bro but I totes wanna smash dat.  
Error: ILL FUCKING SMASH YOU  
FM: yes please ya bodacious stringy brah.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
((i cannot breathe, Freshmare is the most cringey hilarious flirter and im dying of laughter))

NM: *beginning to go into angry Alley Cat Mode bc STOP FLIRTING WITH ERROR YOU CREEP*

Error: ah shit Night calm down

NM: *slightly feral snarling*

Freshmare: dang dat's hawt bro

Ink: come on Dream we are leaving that thing to the death it is asking for

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Ink: dream you put in too much of nightmares narcissism and his attraction to error when coming up with freshmare.  
FM: yo I would love tah hit dat. You both are smokin fine.

***  
PitchBlackWings  
(this is how I die. Lack of oxygen from laughing at Freshmare.)

NM: *quiet grumbling* i am not narcissistic

Error: *sends out strings to trap Freshmare for easier kiling*

Freshmare: *raises eyebrow* ya into strings huh? kinky~

Error: *about to drop him like a hot potato bc fuck no*

NM: that THING is NOT ME IN ANY WAY

SM: I-I feel left out and im so relieved

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: dont worry pudding pop~ I like all flavors, not just the chocolate one.  
SM: I have two datemates.  
FM: I dont mind~.  
Error: nightmare is my cuddle puddle!  
FM: but isn't two puddles even better? We can pull berry bits over there into a triple scoop cuddle puddle~

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: *almost going to throw up* NO. NOPE. IM NOT EVEN GOING N E A R THAT THING

SM: it feels so WRONG i HATE IT *almost crying*

Error: I WOULD KILL IT BUT I THINK IT MIGHT LIKE THAT

FM: awe thanks glitchy brah I knew you cared!

Error: THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH MIDDLE FINGERS IN THE WORLD FOR YOU

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: brah ill take any middle fingers ya wanna-  
Error: NOPE. NO.  
FM: yer a pretty set ta bones, I'd take ya roller skatin' just tah see ya move~

***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: fuck you, Error is mine

FM: didn't know ya wanted to watch brah ;)

Error: NO. NO NO NO. HOW CAN SUCH A DISGUSTING CREATURE EXIST.

FM: I got loads of surprises~

((rereading this its a whole lot of NMMM SMMM FMMM and i love it.... XD)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: I'm fine just watching too.  
Error: NO.  
Fresh: *POOF!* EYYYY BROS! Ink text mah bout some radical bruh?  
Error: NO. NO ...NOOO! *REBOOTING*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna know your reactions to freshmare, brotato chips.
> 
> Freshmare has a pic now over on Tumblr  
> emeraldtrainer1  
> Its literally the only post.


	12. So Many Lil Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the longer, more entertaining comment threads! and dang freshmare has taken over the commentson the last chapter. Slightly edited for the best read. Omg some of the lil bits have me rolling on the floor.

doodis2014  
That was hilarious XDDD

Could it be Dream redemption by Google?.. i can see that XD

Like imagine him correcting Ink all the time lol  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dream: google, is jumping off a roof a good idea?

.... Google: no.  
Dream: see ink google said no  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
oh my god but imagine if Google was an AI sans and like

having to deal with all the SHIT Dream is asking

And then reporting his search history to Error, who reports it to Nightmare  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
AI Sans: HEY BIG MOMMA GLITCH. DREAM IS LOOKING UP WEIRD SHIT AGAIN  
Error: ..... dont call me that. What is he looking up?  
AI Sans: Compared to me you are, he looked up what hentai means. Exact words, 'What cartoon is hentai and why does ink call my brother that???'  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
"BIG MOMMA GLITCH" - you will be the death of me i swear one day i will just up and choke and DIE of laughter

Error: …huh

AI: yep

Error: …Night would love this

AI: Boss is going to have a stroke  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
AI Sans only gives Error a nickname. Everyone else is their name or Nightmare is boss.

AI Sans: BIG MOMMA GLITCH!!! DREAM IS LOOKING INTO WHAT CREEPYPASTA AND SCP IS.  
Error: .... stop calling me that.  
Killer: Hey Mini Glitch, you know which ones?  
Error: AND YOU STOP CALLING HIM THAT  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dust: Mini Glitch, whats up with the wifi?

AI(or MG for Mini Glitch): Boss is hacking something.

Dust: Gdit is he hacking the Wendy's kiosk interfaces again??  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
MG: ... hey killer? Can error connect to the wifi too?  
Killer: *pauses* .... holy shit I need to KNOW  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Imagine Error connecting to WiFi to slow down his glitches and then being hacked tho

DAMMIT ERROR DONT USE THE STARBUCKS WIFI  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(How did I miss this!)  
Error: F-u-u-ucking Hackers! I dont like it when they root around in my files!  
NM: ....  
Error: YOU DIRTY HACKER THAT FILE IS VERY VERY PERSONAL DONT YOU FUCKING LOOK!  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Hacker: *pushes on*

Error: FuckiNG,-$'&'(++ I WILL KILL YOU AND @LL TH@T YOU L0VE AND YOU WIL ©®@SH AND BURN  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM: what were they getting into?  
Error: *huge blush*  
NM: ...oh~  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …could I take a look at some of those files~?

Error: *RAPID BLUSHING NOISES*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: um. You don't have a smart computer so no!  
NM: .....*texts killer* -get us a top notch computer for family use-  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Error: *looking over Noot's shoulder* No WAY THATS NOT FOR FAMILY USE

NM: sure it is! Killer can play crossy road.... Dust can see youtude videos.... I can hack things~  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: you can barely type and use all your tentacles to that much!  
NM: ....... okay you got me there but now I'm curious-  
Error: NO.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …I could hire a hacker to open the files and then kill them after....

Error: STOP FINDING LOOPHOLES

NM: oooooor you could just tell me~  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ....... its.... my memories of you. And .... how I felt then. And .... most of my thoughts or memories of and about you. The nightmare file if you label it.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: Aww, I have a file named after me? That's sweet~

Error: *is a blushing mess*

NM: But if I'm being serious... I won't hack you, that would be an invasion of your privacy. It would be like my memories being taken out for display. And I don't need to do that... After all, we already experienced all of those times together, right?

Error: *happy relief* ...yeah.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
..... where would errors cable port be?

..its his mouth.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
omfg  
i need to stop eating food when i read stuff from my inbox

imma choke one day and die

Imagine tho

NM: …Error why are you eating a USB cable?

Error: I NEED UPDATES OKAY  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Ai Sans: Yeah Boss! Big Momma glitch needs deem sweet updates.  
Error: please stop and just help me update my system please.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: …how long does it take? or how long WILL it take, this time at least?

AI Sans: 27 hours!

NM: …what

AI Sans: 6 weeks 8 hours!

NM: WHAT

AI Sans: 6 seconds!

Error: …He doesn't know any more than I do Noots.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
NM and error sit and relax while error is updating. Ai sans enjoying his time with boss and Big momma glitch  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ai is kinda like the kid/family pet dude of the Gang :3

NM: *snuggles*

Error: *snuggles back*

Ai: …Big Momma Glitch can I buy a giant Furby off of the internet?  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: no you'll attract fresh parasites  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ai: …like the one that tried to hit on you and Boss?

Error: *grinds teeth a bit* ...yes

Ai: careful of the cord!

NM: its okay Ruru. There is no Freshmare here.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: ugh. Why do viruses like those two always pester me!  
NM: because your handsome?  
Error: must be.  
Ai sans: because you make cool noises when upset, momma glitch.  
Error: can't be. At all  
***********************************************************************  
AnEnbyTrashGremlin  
Ok, suggestion. Blue gets captured and is like terrified but then just gets abducted for cuddles and is confused af  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Ah but this blue is the opposition. NM can't be letting the stars know his soft side. And error only cuddles nm. Its a glitch thing. Blue probably would be up for cuddles, better than torture!  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Blue, terrified: is that a giant blender

Killer: Oh yeah, Boss uses it for smoothies and slushies and milkshakes and stuff. It's the only one really big enough for the ingredients he uses.

Blue: *absolute horror, whispering* sci was right about the dust smoothies

Killer: im sorry the what  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: sci-....Sci said he made giant death blenders for nightmare's torture dungeon. And he makes dust smoothies.  
Killer: .....one. what the fuck. Two. Its a movie room not a torture dungeon, black and rus moved it to a shed. Three. Wouldnt that just be chalky?  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Blue: i truly dont know if it would be chalky because you see ive never eaten dust before

Horror: expert opinion here, confirmed chalky taste and texture.

Blue: … *slightly sick* …is that what hapens in the torture shed…?  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: no way. They haven't got the wiring set up yet.  
Blue: ......  
Killer: didn't error say nightmare was going to try doing blue berry banana smoothies?  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Blue: im Blueberry though

Killer: and? Im Killer. Nice to meet you?

Horror: ye, Night thought it would be healthier. He doesnt like us eating junk a lot of the time....  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Killer: it was funny watching him try and get error to eat it. "If it doesn't have chocolate it isn't going in my mouth "  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Horror: Didnt he bargain his hoodie and an hour of cuddles for it?

Killer: …i think so, that makes sense.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: ..... the....king of terror.... cuddled. The destroyer  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Killer: yeah, it's a pretty common occurrence. Boss gets cold easily and snuggles for warmth.

Horror: Its adorable. The pictues of that cute stuff take up half our photo albums already...  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: ....w-what?!?  
Killer: do you want to see the evidence?  
Blue: do I even have a choice?!?  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Horror: …not really lol

((Cuddles? For our Destroyer of Universes??  
It's More Likely Than You Think!!  
Get a Free Checking Inspection Today! [CLICK HERE]))  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Blue: .... thats totally a scam website.)

Blue is being "held captive" in the living room when he sees nightmare carrying a sleepy error past to the kitchen.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Blue: *Jaw drOps to the floor*

Error: …Niiiight can i have hot choocolateeee

NM: …idk Ruru thats a lot of sugar early in the day

Error: come on pleasee

NM: …only if we use the skim milk.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nightmare: *kiss to errors forehead* I can get it while I work on my coffee and breakfast. (NM likes to cook for error. Chicken and Bake are good but its more .... domestic if he does it)  
*****************************************************  
Skully101  
Dear lord Dream! W H Y!???

Please tell me that not all Dreams are like that??  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Not all of em hehehe

BUT A GOOD DEAL OF THEM ARE LIKE THAT YES  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dreams are easy to torment and can be soooooo fun to tweak the personality of  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
They're...... hnnng i would say adorable

and hilariously easy to manipulate to our bidding! Nothing really seems too out of character for Dream. Except maybe killing someone in a fit of rage. BUT IF NIGHTMARE POSSESSED HIM SOMEHOW IT'D BE EASY SO THATS A MOOT POINT FOR THE ARGUMENT

so yea

Dreams  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
I could see dream being so many things.

I usually make him as the phrase ' ignorance is bliss'  
***  
Skully101  
I will admit that I do like this version of Dream a lot. They are so hilariously funny to read sometimes, whenever they appear in any chapters XD

Hopefully he learnt his lesson & won't try creating another Nightmare, like with Freshmare or do something worst like... Oh idk, kidnap another Dream's Nightmare from a different multiverse right? ...He won't try that right??

...Even if that would be hilariously chaotic & interesting to see.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Imagine if Dream grabbed some guys from Dreamswap by accident tho lol

HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY TRY TO KIDNAP SOMEBODY ELSES NOOTS. INK WOULD BE TOO AFRAID TO MAKE ANOTHER NOOT....

NEXT BEST THING IS TO KIDNAP ANOTHER NOOT

but WHICH noot noot, hmmm....  
***  
Skully101  
"Coughs" Dream should totally kidnap the whole Meme Squad "Cough, coughs" Just saying- Heh

BTW, DREAM IF YOU DO KIDNAP SOMEBODY ELSE'S NOOTS. YOU BETTER HOPE THAT THEIR DREAM WON'T HUNT YOU DOWN FOR THAT!  
I'm pretty sure anyone, especially Nightmare wouldn't want to deal with another version of his brother

-Or you know what would funny? If Dream finds & mistaken Shattered Dream as a noot noot & kidnaps him instead!? XD  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
omfg YES

And he's just like

OH MY GOD BROTHER HELLO HI

and shattered is just

wtf is going on ey get your greasy slimy little positive hands off of my tentacles I aint yer bro

and dream is like NOPE NOPE YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM YOU'RE NOOTS!

Somewhere else in the Multiverse the True Noots sits bolt upright in fear and whispers  
"oh god not another one"  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dream: BROTHER LOOK! A YELLOW YOU! *pushes sd at nm*  
SD: I'm not nightmare. I'm shattered dream. Don't touch me.  
Dream: BROTHER YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT IN YELLOW.  
Nm: dream you have to stop this nonsense.  
SD: .... if you're done, I'm gonna head back to my multiverse. Got cross lined up to torment.  
Dream: NO STAAAAY HERE! *drapes on SD to hold him there* show my brother that you're good!  
SD: .... pfft. You think I'm good? Been there, done that, waaay to much hassle.  
NM: *facepalms* dream stop bringing random corrupted skeletons to try and show me how nice they are. Its getting ridiculous.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
SD: …this happens often, eh

NM: you have no FUCKING idea

SM: *entering the McDonalds*...o..oh god not another one

NM: …at least he doesn't seem like he will turn out like FM..

SD: …who is-

FM: *fresh poofs into a ceiling corner* eeeeeeyyy

NM: *facepalms* dammit  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
SD: .... what the fuck is up with your dream.  
NM: he is trying to show me that I can be good in a really misguided way.  
SD: ..... what kind of multiverse is this by the way? You are much much tamer than my brother was when he was corrupted.  
NM: .... now I'm curious about your story.  
FM: *slithers up behind NM to tackle hug him* hey there beautiful~ got something rad for me?  
NM: GET OFF YOU DISGUSTING CREATURE.  
SD: .... what the fuck.  
SM: so your a dream?  
Sd: Shattered Dream.  
SM: I don't have a dream counterpart but the one here is a little..... obsessed? Weird?  
SD: imagine my thoughts as there's only one corrupted skeleton at a time at my place.  
***  
Skully101  
Me: "Is so far amused by all of this & doesn't mind if this thread keeps going at all"

Also me: "Casually breaks the forth wall & just kidn- I mean... teleports & dumps SD's Nightmare onto Ink, because hey INK! WE NEED MORE FAN SERVICE FROM YOU, SO WE ARE DUMPING HIM ONTO YOU! ALRIGHT? GOOD! THANKS & HAVE FUN~! :D  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ink: im sorry what the fuck

Booming Fourth Wall Voice: ssssh its for the fans

Ink, who caught SD bridal style and is struggling to comprehend what is happening: b-but, but, but I-

BFWV: ssssshhhhh motorcycles go butbutbut and you are not a motorcycle. you are a stinky skeleton.

Ink: NO WAIT HEY NO IM NOT

BFWV: haaaave fuuuun *goes away*

SD: let me go or I shall impale you  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
BFGAAV: ....... YALL ARE GORGEOUS  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Ink: *who knows what twisted ships our minds can imagine* WHAT. NO NO NO. PLEASE-- ILL DO ANYTHING--

PBWV: Then Perish

SD: …what is going on who is talking to you LET GO  
***  
Skully101  
Ya know if Dream were to walk in on Ink still holding SD- Wait didn't I dump SD's Nightmare onto Ink, not SD himself? I'm pretty sure I did...

Err... Anyway! I'm sure that if Dream sees that, he would most likely jump to the wrong conclusions & would think that either A. SD's Nightmare (No Dream! That's not your Noot Noot!) is cheating on Error with Ink or B. Thinks that Ink is the one, who's taking advantage on the poor Noot Noot & flirting with him  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dream: i love your color, nightmare!  
Sd: im not nightmare. We have been over this

*******************************************************************  
Splatter  
S1E1 Pilot Episode

Squid_In_A_Top_Hat   
Ink the doctor... Oh god... That does Not sound safe.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Exactly.  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Ink would totally be an awful doctor but also manage to get you out alive in ridiculous ways and quite possibly worse problems than before

Dr. Ink: well good news and bad news. Good news is I got rid of your lung cancer

Patient: whats the bad news then

Dr. Ink: Well you see now your liver and spleen are made out of hard candy and ceramic  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dr. Ink: the surgery went well! The tumor is gone.  
Patient: doctor i wasn't scheduled for a surgery.  
Dr. Ink: .... then what the fuck did I cut out of you???  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dr. Ink: see this is OBVIOUSLY a tumor *holds up a bloody thing*

Nurse Dream: …Dr. Ink i think that is a kidney

Patient: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME

((this is like an insane reality tv show oh my god))  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Receptionist Blue: yes sir. Sorry sir. We will be expecting that call from your lawyers i understand that even though you feel the best you have in decades, you did not want your kidney removed. I understand completely.  
Dr. Ink: blue? We have that eye light injury guy again today right? He was really interesting.  
Receptionist Blue: yes, please refrain from touching him too much, he has haphephobia. You're the only one qualified in monster and human anatomy as well as traumatic injury in the city. He already lodged a complaint on You're manners and too much touching.  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nurse Dream: hello sir please step right this way. Dr. Ink will be here with you soon.

Receptionist Blue: *on the phone* Sir I apologize, I assure you the doctor did not mean to replace your vertebrae with wooden yo-yos…

Patient: ……………  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Patient: ...should I be worried?  
Nurse dream: actually all patients of dr. Ink so far have been healthier and happier when they leave. Dr. Ink is just eccentric.  
Receptionist Blue: *new call* oh hello? Your the one that grew tentacles correct? Dreams brother? ..... I understand that you did not want tentacles even though they are very useful.  
Patient: ..... do you know of another doctor?  
Dr.Ink: Hello there! You are my.... possible lump in the abdomen?  
Patient: ... no I am here for treatment on my arm. The one with the wound. Thats needs to be checked?  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dr. Ink: Oh yeah right! Come rght this way, I was just preparing the anaesthesia!

Patient:……why do you need that

Dr. Ink: So it doesnt hurt you when I take the bones off to be inspected!

Patient: …ok makes sense I guess

Dr. Ink: do you want rainbow sparkle anaesthesia or just blue glitter? We have a surplus today.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Patient: .... are you on drugs doctor?  
Dr ink: possibly? I ate some weird candy. Who knows?  
Patient: .... rainbow sparkles i guess?  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Meanwhile:

Wendy's mafia leader: dammit these arent my heroin candies, what bullshit is this  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: Dreeeeam! What were those candies you got i really like them  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nurse Dream: Ink i havent had any candy in the office lately...

Dr. Ink: They were bright red and on your desk! I took some :)

Nurse Dream: DOCTOR THOSE WERE NOT CANDIES  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: ... oh. Can I have more-  
Nurse Dream: No! You could die!  
Dr. Ink: I think I have saved more people on those  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nurse Dream: do you have any idea what those do to your brain activity! *begins ranting about health*

Dr. Ink: *nodding sagely while opening Dream's desk drawer to search for more 'candy'*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: hmmm. Probably? I don't know but I reeeally liked them. The red ones were great  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Nurse Dream: the red ones are HIGHLY TOXIC UNLESS YOU HAVE CANCER, they are supposed to be magical supressants not yummy treats!! Here, let me show you the package....

Dr. Ink: *innocent look*

Nurse Dream: Doctor whY IS THE PACKAGE ALMOST EMPTY  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: ................*coughs and a pill falls out*  
Nurse Dream: DOCTOR OH NO YOU NEED TO THROW UP NOW. LIKE RIGHT NOW. BLUEEE! CALL AN AMBULANCE!  
Receptionist Blue: Did ink get in your candies again?  
Nurse Dream: WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN?!?  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Receptionist Blue: Ink loved them last time, but he started babbling nonsense and drooling black ink a lot the last time he ate them. He asked me to hide him in his office for a bit so he could wait out the drooling. I would have asked to try one, but they were yours and I didnt want to take without asking ^^

Dr. Ink: mhmmm they are very yummy :)

Nurse Dream: DOCTOR ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: nah. I'm ink.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Receptionist Blue: oooh i get it! thats a good one Doc

Dr. Ink: :3 thanks Blue

Nurse Dream: *panicked screaming*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nurse Dream: DOCTOR SUMMKN YOUR SOUL NOW I NEED TO DO FIRST AID UNTIL THE AMBULANCE GETS HERE! THE DRUGS REACT TO YOUR MAGIC AND I NEED TO FORCE THE MAGIC OUT!  
Dr. Ink: I dont have a soul I'm fine.  
Nurse Dream: then How Did the Drugs AFFECT YOU AT ALL  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dr. Ink: hell if I know

Nurse Dream: WHAT DO OU MEAN THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY--

Receptionist Blue: *stares deadpan into an invisible camera like in The Office*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr. Ink: dream I am fine.  
Receptionist blue: if thats all I am gonna work on some paper-  
Nurse Dream: YOU ARE NOT FINE!  
***  
PitchBlackWings   
Dr. Ink: I have a brain surgery scheduled so if you could please-

Nurse Dream: you are NOT DOING BRAIN SURGERY ON DRUGS!!!!  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount   
Dr.Ink: I'm doing brain surgery on a Mr. Jonathan Kavanagh? Did I get that right blue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have recently learned there's a white nightmare that has goopy nom snake tentacles. huh....... neat. 
> 
> ...... thats totally Snootmare or something idk.


	13. Some Fun-Dips.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of freshmare's best. he likes to talk to commenters. he was pretty chatty in Chapter 11's comments. Also its a double update!
> 
> *this chapt had a few stray ends.

BlackroseQueen  
HOLY FUCK MY LUNGS!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: sorry broski dat was just me, doing a free trial.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
FM: For jest $9.99 a month I can admisnister da funky new Organ Party treatment! Its when I take over yer body and fill yer lungs and other vital organs wit my radical slimy self! Certified ooze my dudes ^^ Guranteed to change yer rad bod into an even radder slimier dude-person like myself! Make sure tah read all da small print~  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nm: I hate that the fresh thing ,Always leaves a trail everywhere, so undignified  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
my dumbass brain imagined Freshmare marking a trail through a thick forest by marking the trees with rainbow spray paint

help

the slimey man has invaded my mind  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: I sometimes use da rad paints but I tend to just let it all flow free if ya get me.  
NM: YOUR A DISGRACE, CANT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO KEEP A HOLD OF YOUR OOZE LIKE A DECENT BEING.  
FM: nah I like tah keep it all natural, my lovely disaster~  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: YOU ARE DISGUSTING. I CANNOT BELIEVE ANY PART OF YOU IS EVEN RELATED TO MY EXISTENCE

FM: mmmmm I dunno there Noots we do kinda share the same rad bod~ you're so uptight it's cute brah

NM: *fuming* DO NOT CALL ME NOOTS  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: man I envy the stick up your lovely pelvis~. .... if you think bout it yer bro dream made me right? Dat makes us fam bro!  
NM: I hate everything you just said.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
FM: whut, am I wrong~?

NM: that wOULD MAKE YOU MY NEPHEW SO YES ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT GO DIE SOMEWHERE FAR FROM HERE

FM: Awww but then we'd never have our hapy ending yo! me, a totally bodacious dude, and you, another rad hot dude! its a match made in heaven yo!

NM: not in heaven. in HELL. ABSOLUTELY NOT  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: id love to go to hell wit ya goopy~ I hear day got a whole ring fer the nasty lust sins~ we can bring glitch kitten and berry bits! Make it a party!  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
NM: YOU CAN GO BURN WITH THE REST OF THE SEVEN CIRCLES OF HELL. ERROR IS MINE.

FM: aww can't ya learn ta share my bodacious buddy? You could have a turn too~

NM: *gagging*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Later.....  
NM: ...error you won't leave me for another corruption would you?  
Error: if you think ill get in 20 foot of that fresh thing you don't know a damn thing about me  
*********************************  
BlackroseQueen  
HOLY FUCK MY LUNGS!!  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: sorry broski dat was just me, doing a free trial.  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
lol  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: nah bro. I gotta keep up til I get a rofl. Maybe even a funky fresh omfg.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
he already got a "HOLY FUCK MY LUNGS"

…does he need an "UNHOLY FUCK MY LUNGS" instead?  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Nah he just wanna have da lungs  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Gordon Ramsey is appalled with FM's attempt at fried lungs  
*************************************************  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: nah bro. I gotta keep up til I get a rofl. Maybe even a funky fresh omfg.  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
Well if you want a rofl you gonna have to make me lmao, and that only happens when I get caught side ways by a sudden mood shift and character actions. That is If you can get me to laugh more then 20 secs. So far you just get me twitching from how much my face hurt smiling at the shear insanity you guys provoke.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
*FM is somehow holding a pair of shears somewhat suggestively*

FM: YOU DONT SAY~? Don't worry, if ya laugh yer ass off i'll be here to catch it~  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
*me giving a bored look to FM and the starts filing my nails*

1\. you don't scare me and make me uncomfortable  
2\. I laugh when I get amused, and your existence, while funny, is all the amusement you gave me, until you do something that makes me amused.  
3\. I get more laughs out of watching NM but a tom cat than your fresh vibes.. and that's saying a lot coming from me and my F'ed up sense of humor.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
FM: nighty is a tom cat? That's wack dude I always thought he was more of a pussy. Running away from too much light or at the call of his kittens. I haven't got to pet him yet tho. Its totes unrad. I just wanna squeeze him. Da glitchy babe too. Maybe throw in a bit of berries. Its sooo rad to have the set. Wonder if Sunny D would be a good gift of affection fer the cuddle puddle?  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
* slow blink and then starts twitching from wanting to laugh at the mental picture of nootboi and glitchbeans reactions to FM giving them Dream as a gift and the gangs reaction to FM showing up outta knowhere.*

Phfftnjen... Ok that was funny, and your creep flirting and sin aside,.....

DO IT~  
The chaos from that will will fill me with warm fuzzy thoughts and feed my eldritch horrors that live in my mind and sleep realms. With my ssssinsss as their pillows and the fuzzy as blankets~

Ahh~ I'm giddy to see what would happen~

*sighing in bliss at the thought of chaos and insanity that could be wrought*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Its was a nondescript day at nightmares universe. Just Nightmare, his error and the boys. Chicken and bake were in the kitchens and the swapfell Brothers were doing some repairs that required the common rooms empty. So nightmare decided to hold outdoor training.

He didn't expect that freshmarr's negativity was close enough to his to slip under the protective barriers.

He didn't expect to see his brother almost completely bound in a rainbow corruption.

He didn't expect Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden to be played by a crazy looking radio.

He didn't expect that Error and himself to be serenaded in front of his boys by the neon terror.

"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy~  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need~  
I'll love you more with every breath, truly, madly, deeply do~  
I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on~"

He didn't expect the way freshmare presented dream like a bouquet of roses.

"A new beginning~  
A reason for living~  
A deeper meaning, yeah~"  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
((holy cow thats awesome))

He did expect Error's prompt retaliation by wrapping up the intruder with strings and raining bone attacks on the resulting string cocoon though.

But Error was too busy crashing.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Dream: *spit out some corruption* WHAT IS GOING ON?!? FRESHMARE STOP.

The boys can't handle it and half of them are on the ground wheezing.

FM: shhhhhh. *caresses dreams jaw* you are my romantic overture. So keep yer pie hole shut sunny d.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Dream: WHAT THE HE- mmmmphfhphfmfhff!!! *is muffled once more by a tentacle*

FM: shussshhhh or I can't pour out your blood in a dramatic confession of my love later. And we wouldnt like that broseph!

Error: *rebooting noises*

NM: ill pour YOUR blood out you mother fucker

FM: yoooooo you planned to make a dramatic confession to lil old ME…? Aww!

NM: *low alley cat hissing begins*

Horror: *nose-shattering WHEEZE*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Fm: *all happy tentacle wags* you like me back?!?  
NM: I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT.  
Dream: but we were supposed to be friends freshmare!  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
* cackling with unholy glee*

Yessss~ let the Unholy terror begin with these poor fools~  
May they cringe in horror at the Sinful abomination that is FM and his sinSOUL

(Good work dear wyrm)  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Freshmare doesn't usually dabble in hope. Its not his favorite thing. It has its uses, much like sticky tar, uses that can be good for the neon terror.

..........  
Sometimes the hope dream gave him when freshmare was created stings from the inside.

.........  
Sometimes ...... he wonders why.

..........  
Sometimes he knows..... slapping dat ass really isn't a good idea. But diggity daaaaaang. Nightmare is hot and error just sat in sugar~. Woof. Mmmmmmmmmmm  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
*WhEeZe* (woke up and saw this after taking a break from caring for my Ma.. Fuck CoRoNa...)

FUCK !!  
LOL~  
I'm cackling and choking on my lungs from that comment.  
LOL~ DOWN BOI CALM YO SIN DEARIE~

....... So long as us Anon/Asker/Author/Creators are around there will always be things to sin for~  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Frsshmare saw how nightmare cared for his kittens. It made him wonder if it was because of the possible threat to them that nightmare may not return his affections. And error is very attached to nightmare. It seems like maybe... he should try to show he can care for offspring!

Nightmare hasn't figured out how to make the barriers sensitive enough to block freshmare. He isn't too thrilled that freshmare has been stalking and leaving things for his boys. He isn't happy at all. He somehow completely filled the fridge with caprisuns, left out kid cuisine meals all over the manor, and keeps leaving a trail!

(hope that gets better. Be safe)  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
(I am thx, my ma be closed up in her room with me passing things along. Hopen this shiz get cleared up soon, atleast she ain't as bad off as those in hospitals. #Blessed #FUCKCORONAVIRUS)

* cackling as I watch noot get territorial over his home and boys while FM tries at being good mate material*

Lol~ Poor goopyboi can't keep the radgoopy out of his home~

Poor glitch baby must be so confused and freaking out........

Along with everyone else living there! HA!

* pulls out coacoa and hands you a cup that's been sealed with a barrier to keep it clean and warm while watching the chaos*  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error is worried. Not for the multiverse like usual, but for his one place of love. The fact that someone can and will slip under the protective barriers. The fact that someone has been leaving food and drink like a cat bringing prey back. The fact that nightmare can hardly sleep because of this.

Error has been finding.... clothes laid out for him. They.... are very bright and if he didn't know better he would say fresh was pulling something. But he does know better. Especially while there's a rainbow trail and a few handprints on the clothes. Error has been getting rid of the ones set out for nightmare as fast as he can.  
***  
BlackroseQueen  
*blinks*

The Fuxk he leave out for night the has error doing that?

And poor goopy~  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
.................leg warmers  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
with glitter sequins  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Mermaid scale sequins  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
What was written on the gift tag  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
\- too my sludgy octo prince.  
I wanna make you feel like a princess.  
I'll see you one day.  
Your rad slimy suitor,  
Freshmare  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
God help us all.  
At least when Error wrote a poem to his boyfriend he used proper grammar.

burn it.

unless its fireproof.  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
It was a black card with rainbow glitter sprinkled on glue writing. He didn't shake off the extra glitter. Error wouldn't tell anyone why he was very very glittery.  
***  
PitchBlackWings  
Freshmare totally knows. Hot damn that glitter accentuates some interesting things...

After that, he always laces the gifts with lots of glitter. Win-win situation until Error wises up!  
***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Error: .... I... think freshmare has a thing with glitter. Its ..... uncomfortable.  
NM: .... I know ru. The guy seems to leave glitter where he doesn't leave slime.  
Error: .....  
Freshmare: *whispers* its so you don't forget me boos!  
Error: *screeching and digital noises*  
NM: *HISSES* How DID YOU GET IN HERE?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a bonus DND like story bit in CHapter 11, its a bit messy to try and post so ill leave it as a secret tidbit.

**Author's Note:**

> This will update whenever I feel like it tbh. A little side project in the quickly growing pile ^^'


End file.
